Evergreen

Oops!

2009-03-21T14:59:00.002-08:00

I forgot my log-in credentials for Blogger! Took a while, but obviously, I've remembered! haha

This has been one of our longest winters! It's STILL snowing out there. Usually we get one or two good snowfalls a winter...never this far into March. We're two days into spring and its a winter wonderland outside. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss the rain.

This past week was our spring break. I go back to work tomorrow for two months before summer break. I can't believe how fast this school year has gone. I dread going back, though. Our guidance counselor lost her fight against cancer last Monday. She hadn't been at work for the past couple months, but knowing that she will never be there again is hard to accept. I've learned so much from her over the past 15 and a half years. I loved her dearly and will really, really miss her. :o(

Wasting Time at Work

2008-11-11T09:25:00.001-09:00

Volleyball season is over. Our team placed dead last in the tournament, but was selected to receive the sportsmanship award which is voted on by the coaches. Also, Alexys received All-Conference as did another niece of mine, Lakin.

Lindsey was on a trip for wrestling. She still hasn’t won a match in this sport dominated by boys, but for the first time ever she lasted all three rounds without getting pinned and only lost by 2 points! I wasn’t too sure what to think of her choice of activity, but she seems to be enjoying it and already has plans to join again next year.

We are definitely into our fall weather. The wind is howling and the rain is coming down hard. I don’t mind hearing the rain on my window except when it comes during the night when I should be asleep! Our mountain tops are starting to turn white. I so cannot wait for snow! Snow means colder temps and I love the cold!

Our guidance counselor is fighting harder than ever against her cancer. She’s been on chemo for 10 months so far. She was hoping to be done, but when she went north for her latest appointment, she received some sad news. Her CAT scan showed cancer in her liver and fluid around her right lung. When they tested the fluid, it too had cancer cells. We lost our interpreter in May to brain cancer. Losing our counselor would be devastating. She’s such a loving lady. Even the toughest kids love the time they spend with her and are better for it. She touches our lives daily and always has a smile even when we know she’s so tired.
I’m at work and have things to do. I guess I better get to them

Hello? Anybody There?

2008-11-07T08:50:00.001-09:00

Okay, let’s see if I remember how to do this. I haven’t forgotten about my blog. I just haven’t really felt like I had anything interesting enough to say. One of the downfalls of living on a small island is that life moves very slow. There is not a lot of change, and when change does come, it comes slowly.
How many times do you want to hear “The new road is almost finished”? Even I’m bored with that…and I’m here watching it happen.
I guess that’s good, in a way. Life moving slow, I mean. It allows one time to really soak it all in. Stop and smell the roses? I could tell you how many new blooms the neighbors bush got this year because there’s nothing else to do but stop and smell the roses.
My nieces and nephews are about the only indication that time is moving on. (Besides the “natural highlights” in my hair.) They’re growing up so fast. Alexys will be graduating high school this year. Lucione is a junior and Lindsey a freshman. Even Craig and Mikayla are growing up. They are in 5th and 3rd grades this year. They now have a new baby sister, Felicity. I don’t see her often enough, but believe me, she’s cute. J
My husband and I are doing very well. He’s working full time now…at HOME. If you know anything about me, you know that I’m loving having him home. That whole commuting to California thing was awful. My job is actually not so bad this year. We zipped right through our 1st quarter. I’m not wishing for summer yet, so things are good. J
I haven’t done this in so long, I don’t even remember what I’ve shared and what I haven’t. I guess I should go back and read some of my posts.
Connie, if you read this, I owe you an apology. I promised to call you if I ever found myself in your neck of the woods. In September I was in Anchorage for an entire week. I didn’t call because I was there for medical reasons and didn’t want anybody to see me in my condition. Especially someone who’d see me for the very first time. Very selfish on my part and I apologize. I wish I would have swallowed my pride and made arrangements to meet you and possibly pay a visit to Millie. You are not the only one I snubbed, though, if that helps any. I have family up there who I neglected to call.
We’re definitely into our winter weather here. No snow on the ground yet, but our mountains are white. J The rain is cold and our frequent winds have been gusting pretty good.
I guess this is it for now. I’m just curious if anyone stops by anymore. Jayleigh, I know you said you have been. I apologize for not keeping up with this. Thanks for not giving up on me!

BUSY

2008-04-21T15:27:00.003-08:00

I've been so busy I can't keep track of what day it is!

Work has been hectic. I'm so ready for the break. One month left...I can handle one more month. My boss and I have been butting heads. I've even gotten stubborn a few times and given him the cold shoulder. I don't know why it bothers him, but it does. So when I see him treating others badly, which has been more than usual lately, I make sure he knows I'm ignoring him. Sometimes it takes a day or two, but he always comes around and straightens up. I started to worry I was putting my job in jeopardy, but I passed my evaluation with flying colors. Go figure.

My nieces have been keeping me busy, also. Lindsey was busy with a basketball tournament. Her team got 2nd place, but she was the 3-point AND the free-throw champ! Space Cadet didn't make it to a single tournament game. The first two, for no good reason...then she left town to watch Lucione in the music festival. I made sure I was at every game even though I haven't been feeling all that well. She played very well and was a good sport through the whole thing.

Lucione had her 16th birthday on the 14th. I can't believe how old that makes me feel. haha

She is now officially old enough to date. That's scarier to me than being old enough to get her license.

Work is going to be very busy from now until the end. We've got Prom this weekend, then the elementary concert, the high school concert, a scene showcase, high school graduation, middle school promotion (Lindsey will be promoted to HIGH SCHOOL!), Sea Week field trips, Field Day...and probably more I'm not remembering.

The weather finally turned toward spring. We haven't had snow since Friday! The sun is shining and the temp is eeking up towards 50 degrees ever so slowly.

Hopefully, I'll be back to write again soon. Until then, I hope anyone who reads this is happy and well!

I'm SO Ready For Friday

2008-04-02T16:41:00.001-08:00

This week cannot end soon enough!

Yesterday was an emotional day for me. An uncle of mine passed away last month. March 3rd...the same day I left for a week-long trip. I was already traveling when I got the news. I continued my trip and have been riddled with guilt about it ever since. I didn't miss any of the services, though, because they scheduled them for the 10th and 11th. I returned home on the 9th.

This uncle of mine, had a nick-name for just about everyone he knew. His name for me was, "Big Ape". I cannot remember how we started calling each other that, but it was not meant to be mean. We always said it with a smile. For as long as I can remember, we exchanged apes. Stuffed gorillas for Christmas, Easter, Valentine's Day, birthdays, whatever...I've lost count of the number of apes exchanged between us.

Within the last year, he moved out of his house into a small apartment. He could not take all of his belongings because of space limitations. He took only the necessities. Yesterday, his oldest son was cleaning out the apartment. He found one of the apes I had given to my uncle. He came to the school to find me. I had my back to the door and I heard, "I'm looking for Big Ape."

I spun around to see who dared call me by my uncle's nick-name. I was happy to see my cousin standing there. He was holding something and when I realized what it was, I let out a little gasp. He asked if I remembered it. I told him, "Of course I do."

He said, "This was one of Dad's favorites out of all his apes. I found it while cleaning his apartment today. I think he'd be happy to know you were getting it back."

I thanked him, we hugged, and he left. I thought I was okay and for a while I was. Then I saw Space Cadet. I told her about the ape and she asked if I was okay. I said I was, but then felt a tear run down my cheek. She hugged me and I started to really cry. She cried with me and we talked about my uncle for a while. She, too, had a nick-name from him. I never knew that.

I brought the ape home and was emotional all night long. I think because I wasn't here for that week before his services, it didn't really sink in that he was gone. I was exhausted from my trip and didn't have the quality time with my family right after his death so I don't think I really dealt with it properly. Yesterday was the first time I admitted to myself that he is indeed gone.

After my emotional day yesterday, I was hoping for a smooth day at work. No such luck. The copy machine broke down, Space Cadet was having phone issues so calls were not going where they should...if they were able to get through at all. And the kids....oh, the kids. One of my nephews ran away so I was one of 4 people sent out to hunt for him. I found him on the beach. He almost refused to return to school with me but we decided that he needed to return and face the consequences before he made it worse for himself. Luckily, he finally agreed to come with me but I had to keep his mind distracted by playing dumb. I let him tell me how to fish, all the while acting like I had no idea. His dad showed up and took him home, which I did not agree with. He WANTED to leave school. He got what he wanted.

Anyway, we got through that and then a boy got a bloody nose and panicked. Took a while to calm him down and a little girl fell and hurt her arm. She got hysterical. So much so, that I thought she'd hyperventilate. Got her calmed down and relaxed just in time for an emergency call at the junior high.

So now I am drained. Whew!

I'm So Bad

2008-03-31T20:20:00.002-08:00

I think of my blog often...even tried to make a pact with a friend that I would (we both would) get better at posting and reading each other's blogs. That was back in January. I don't know how she's doing because this is my first time on Blogger since then.

I've been up to a whole lot of nothing since our trip to Juneau. I'm glad school will be ending soon. This has been a tough school year for me. Seven more Mondays. I can handle that, right?

My family is doing okay. Lindsey sprained her ankle last night, but other than that, no major disasters lately. One of my God-Daughters got her acceptance letter to Stanford. Needless to say, she is extremely excited and I am extremely proud!

We are still getting wet snow showers off and on. We call that herring weather. The first opening was right off the beach by our graveyard. We could actually drive down there and watch them fish. It was pretty cool.

In between snow showers, it's beginning to look a lot like Spring. :o)

Trying to Get Back Into This

2008-01-21T12:22:00.001-09:00

I'm having a hard time getting back into writing in this blog. I enjoy writing and reading what others have written, but just haven't been making the time.

A lot has happened in the past few months. Two of my colleagues have been diagnosed with cancer. One of them, for the 3rd time. The other for a 2nd time and this was a total surprise. I feel terrible because I didn't know he was leaving to go to the doctor. It helps to know that the last time we spoke, we were teasing each other. He loved to tease me and it always tickled him when I would tease back. He has brain cancer and the prognosis is not good. He most likely will not return to the island. He had kidney cancer a couple years ago. They just took his kidney and he received no form of treatment.

Our guidance counselor has cancer for the third time. It's breast cancer again, but it has spread to her lung. She's undergoing chemotherapy. She was in remission for 2 years. Before that, she had been in remission for almost 10 years.

My uncle who tried to take my house away is speaking to me again. He came to see me at work after speaking with my mom. He didn't apologize, but that doesn't bother me. I'm just glad he's talking to me again. I didn't like being ignored.

Our high school basketball season is in full swing. My nieces are doing well. In fact, I'm related to all but one of team members! I'm sure if I dug deep enough, I'd end up being related to her, too. haha

The slow count-down to the regional tournament has begun. Michael and I leave on March 3rd and will be in Juneau until the 9th. We're leaving a little earlier than we normally would because Michael's sister lives there and we want an extra day or two to visit before the hectic tournament schedule begins.

I'll try to get better at posting. This is all I have for now.

Pop Your Stress Away

2007-11-22T12:41:00.001-09:00

Updates

2007-11-12T11:47:00.001-09:00

My sister is out of the hospital. She was sent home with six different medications. Pain killers, iron pills, anti-biotics, and three others I don't remember at the moment. The only one she has taken is the anti-biotics. She still hasn't scheduled her appointment to have her staples removed. She doesn't seem too concerned. That makes ME concerned. The doctors won't let my mom make the appointments because my sister is an adult. She won't make them herself because she thinks its my mom's job to take care of her. Sometimes dealing with my sister can be extremely frustrating.

My father-in-law is home. He was on a triple dose of his blood thinner meds. Thankfully, there was no damage to his heart as a result of it. I'm not sure who was responsible for prescribing such a high dosage, but I hope they figure it out and do something about it.

My aunt with cancer is still in Anchorage. They were not able to find cancer with a PET scan, or any of the other tests they ran on her. But the surgeon who removed her uterus is insisting there is cancer so they are going ahead with the treatment. I believe she starts radiation tomorrow. I sincerely hope the surgeon knows what he's talking about because, from what I understand, one can only have radiation treatment once. Should they treat the wrong area it would all be a waste. If she doesn't have cancer and should somehow get cancer in the future, what will that mean? I really, really hope that surgeon knows what he's doing. I'm told the PET scan is THE test for finding cancer...it is supposedly the most accurate of all available resources. I don't understand why there is a discrepancy.

On a lighter note, I woke up to see SNOW on our mountains! I was so happy about that. :o) Not as happy as I will be to wake up to a snow covered car, haha, but happy.

Not much else to report on after a laid-back, uneventful weekend.

Oh, Lindsey played in a basketball tournament this weekend and made the All-Tourney Team! She scored 20 of the teams 34 points in the final game!

Motion Sickness

2007-11-08T10:16:00.001-09:00

So the roller coaster has slowed down a bit, but has not stopped.

Yesterday my father in law was medi-vacced because he was experiencing pain in his left arm and they were concerned about his heart. He has had heart surgery in the past. A triple bypass, I believe, so we were all scared. It turned out that his medication dosage was wrong. He's taking blood thinner and they gave him twice the dosage he should have had. He did not have any heart damage as a result, thank goodness! My aunt in the hospital with cancer is my father-in-law's sister (but that's not how she became my aunt...more about her in another post) so needless to say, we were quite relieved to know Dad is okay.

Our town elections were on the 6th. With a bigger turn-out than we've had in years, our entire administration has been replaced. Mayor, Secretary, Treasure...all with young, un-experienced people. I'm a bit nervous about how things will go the next 2 years, but I guess everyone deserves a chance.

I was so ready for some good news and I bet you're already tired of hearing about my worries and woes, so I'll share. :o)

My laptop came in! That's right...I'm at work, typing this on my brand new GREEN laptop! I love it...absolutely love it! I'm online via a wireless connection that was a snap to set up. Makes me want wireless at my house, but I'll take my ancient dial-up for now. I got this mainly for travel, anyway. I'm planning so far ahead. haha. I'm going to Juneau in March for a week...and wanted a laptop to take with me. It took a lot of encouragement from Michael, though, let me tell ya. I love to spend money on other people. Spending it on myself is a chore. Even if it's "free" money.

My lunch break is just about over. I better stop here. Hope you are all happy and well. The week is almost over!

Too Much Going On

2007-11-05T13:16:00.000-09:00

Well, it's been 2 months since my last post. I highly doubt anyone even visits anymore, but here's my attempt to catch up.

First of all, work was super crazy this year at the beginning. It wasn't till we neared the end of the 1st quarter, things settled down for me. I finally feel like I'm in a routine and am very happy about that. There are a couple teachers I have "issues" with, but nothing worth mentioning and definitely nothing I can't handle.

My life at home has been a roller coaster with huge drops, intense climbs uphill, and crazy loop-de-loops. I hate roller coasters.

If my life consisted of nothing but work and Michael, it would be a piece of cake. But I've got a huge extended family and for some reason, we love our drama.

My uncle still won't talk to me after our big house ordeal. We see each other all the time at family functions but he just won't interact with me. If I smile or say, "Hi Uncle John" he just looks away. I'M the one who lost in the whole thing. It was never his house to take. He didn't lose anything. I lost the place I had called home for more than 5 years and probably the only reason my mom had to move home. Without a house to come home to, I doubt she'll ever return.

My Aunty Rita went north to Anchorage for a hysterectomy. During the surgery, they found cancer in her cervix. She's back up there now for a week of further tests. Hopefully, they'll find that her cancer, although believed to be in stage 3, will be treatable and she'll start radiation by next Monday.

My sister is in the hospital in California. She's been bleeding for the past 2 months. She had extreme abdominal pain late Saturday night and my mom called an ambulance. She was extrenely anemic and in need of a blood transfusion. They stabalized her, took some x-rays, and discovered her uterus is FULL of fibroid tumors. She was to have surgery today at Noon...2 and a half hours ago now. They said they wouldn't know until they had her open whether they could take the tumors or if they'd have to do a hysterectomy. I haven't slept in 2 days because I know my sister. She's stubborn, combative, and mean tempered. I'm worried that the doctors and nurses will grow tired of being belittled and lectured every time they enter her room. She won't let my mom visit or even call. When I called she said, "Hang up I'm trying to sleep." When SHE called my dad, she hung up on him. My dad is so hurt. We both stayed home from work today because we're too stressed from worrying about a loved one who wants nothing to do with us. He called me and I told him what I knew about fibroid tumors, reassured him that my sister isn't directing ALL her anger towards him, but the rest of us, too. We talked for over half an hour. That's a long time for my dad to talk but I think he felt better once we hung up. He promised to stop by later on. He said my sister really hurt him and he needs to feel good again. I hope I can live up to the challenge.

Other than that, I'm just waiting for the temps to cool. We have snow on the mountains, but it's still too high up for my liking. :o) We were in the 30's all day yesterday and I loved it. We even had some very thin ice on the more shallow ponds around the island. Today it's 45. :o(

I'm patiently awaiting the arrival of my new GREEN Dell laptop. They shipped it next day...but they shipped it DHL and we don't have DHL near here. The nearest is Anchorage. They signed for it last week and I'm assuming they put it in regular mail. Trouble is, we've had a lot of high winds lately. When the wind isn't blowing, it's foggy. So that probably slowed the mail a bit. I've always been told I'm a very patient person. This is definitely putting me to the test!

If anyone reads this, I hope you are happy and well.

Happy Birthday, Lindsey!

2007-09-10T08:49:00.000-08:00

Today is Lindsey’s birthday. She’s a whopping 14 years old. I was looking through some old pictures last night. She was such a cute little girl! Too bad she was so nuts and attached to her mother. We didn’t have her as much as we did Lucione. You’d never know it by how close we are now, though.

She tells me I’m her favorite aunt and her 2nd Mom. She’ll sometimes ask me for permission to do something while I’m sitting right next to her mother! She’s got a 4.0 in school and when asked why, she’ll tell you it’s “because Aunty Carrie makes me do my homework”.

She has grown into a beautiful young lady. She’s recently had braces put on her teeth and is taking it all in stride. She doesn’t complain about the pain, even when the wires pop out, which has to be really frustrating.

She is very athletic. She proudly announced the other day that she can run a mile in 11 minutes. She loves to climb the rock wall at the gym. She is an excellent basketball player and enjoys volleyball, as well.

Lindsey has started to crush on boys. I can’t believe that my little tomboy now applies make-up, straightens her hair, and wears fashionable clothes.

I’m at work, so can’t post pictures. I’ll try to remember to put some up later tonight if I can find the time before her party.

Why I Haven't Been Posting

2007-09-03T10:57:00.000-08:00

Mainly, I haven't been posting because I couldn't find time! Michael was unemployed all of July and August right along with me so we kept busy. We were rarely home and when we were the last thing I wanted to do was sit at my computer.

It was so nice having so much time with him. We spent a lot of time outdoors, visiting family and friends, and just being together. It was really nice and if my pocketbook wasn't almost empty, I'd be sad that it is over! :o)

I miraculously managed to make my final paycheck last all summer long. I'm just now starting to get nervous about needing money. At least I was, then my dad gave me some money for my birthday. He said he didn't have time to shop so just gave me money. Little did he know the money is a lifesaver and I am so grateful he didn't shop!

The whole month of August was a whirlwind. We started off with two potlaches. One of our dance groups reached their 20 year anniversary and another their 10 so they each had a potlatch to celebrate. We also had our new road dedicated. It's not complete yet, but I think they wanted to have the dedication ceremony on the anniversary of the ground breaking ceremony.

I've seen articles and blog posts about this road. I don't think anyone really knows the "real" story. When they talk about this being another "Road to Nowhere", it only shows they don't understand the full impact of what this road will offer. I've even seen it written that "The road isn't even complete or connected to the town. They can't figure out how." That is entirely false. The road is built, just not paved and ready to use. The last few yards that connect the road to our town were done last to keep people from going where they didn't belong. It IS connected now, but remains closed. This road will have a huge impact on our lives when it is open. It will allow us to go to Town to shop, work, eat, or even see a movie and then COME BACK home. We won't have to move over there to work, or spend a night in a hotel just to watch a movie. It will also force our grocery store and gas station to have competitive prices. They will no longer have a monopoly because we will have a choice. The road will help tourism because it will provide easier and quick access. This road has also helped the military. I saw an interview on CNN a while ago...they were interviewing a soldier who had been to Iraq. He was in charge of building roads for their military vehicles to travel. When asked how he learned to do this, he said, "I learned it on a little island in Alaska, called Annette." Tens of thousands of men and women have been through here for the past 10 years. If nothing else that's good ever comes from this road, they got some necessary training and were able to use what they learned in service for our country.

The day after our road dedication, was our Founders Day. We celebrated 120 years this year. We had a parade, fun and games, food booths, and fireworks. It was a lot of fun. There were a lot of out-of-town visitors and many family and friends who came home for the occasion.

We had family visiting until around the 10th. Then we started in with birthdays. August is full of family birthdays. I don't care if I never have another piece of cake! I'm still trying to finish up my own.

On the 20th I headed back to work. We had two seperate two day workshops. That made for an exhausting week. On the 27th, the kids started school. The first week was so much fun. Some of the kids acted as if they hadn't seen each other in years and I KNOW they played together all summer long! :o)

I didn't have any visitors on my birthday because we were at a memorial service. Michael's dziish (grandmother)passed away at the age of 97. She was a wonderful lady who loved everyone and was loved by all. She called everyone her baby. She wasn't afraid to tell you if she thought you were doing wrong. But was always quick to tell you when you had made her happy or proud. She will definitely be missed by all who knew her.

So there you go...we had a lot going on...I just didn't make time to come and tell you about it. Hopefully now that I'm back on a regular schedule, I'll find time to write a post every now and then. Certainly more than the one a month I've been averaging!

Not Enough Time

2007-08-29T16:53:00.000-08:00

I was going to use this day to catch you up on the past month because I was supposed to have all kinds of free time. But, things happen and we can't help it...so this is a short post to let you know that I'll try again tomorrow.

I was supposed to have free time because Michael was supposed to be cooking my birthday dinner. But then my best friends grandmother (who also happens to be Michael's aunt) passed away on Tuesday so now we have to go to a memorial service.

I'll try again tomorrow.

Fifteen Years

2007-08-28T16:29:00.000-08:00

Fifteen years ago today, at this exact time, I was up at my cousins house watching her steam my wedding dress. I was wondering if I was doing the right thing...if I was even mature enough to know what the right thing was. I was scared and excited all at the same time. It doesn't feel like it's been 15 years. Sometimes it barely feels like its been 15 months!

So much has happened in the past 15 years but some things have remained the same. We're still madly in love with each other, for one thing! :o) I'm not the same person I was 15 years ago, but I'm so happy I did not let my doubts scare me out of "taking the plunge".

I'll come back tomorrow and try to fill you in on the last month.

Visitors

2007-07-30T18:39:00.000-08:00

I am so looking forward to the next few days! We're going to have so many visitors I don't think there will be enough time in the day to visit them all!

My cousin Evie is coming home...with two of her daughters, my favorite twins, and their new baby brother.

My cousin Vicki is home with her son and daughter.

My nephew Cameron is home with his lady and their tiny son.

Michael's big brother is home with his wife and daughter...and their son and his wife will be here in a few days.

My nephew Thomas is home for a visit.

My friend Eileen is here for a couple weeks.

I'm going to meet my cousin Ian for the first time ever!

I'm also going to meet my cousin Marilee for the first time ever!

Michael's sister Colleen is coming...with her son and her daughter (who is bringing her two kids).

Michael's sister Vivian will be here soon.

My best friends sisters are coming home...one tomorrow the other in about 4 days.

And those are just the ones I can think of at the moment. There will be a lot more because there will be 2 potlatches. So that means dance groups, too.

I wish I could count my mom as one of the visitors but I'm starting to wonder if she's ever going to come home again ever. My uncle said some really awful things about her when he was fighting for the house.

But that's not what this is about. This is about all of the fun reunions that are going to happen in the next few days. Even I'm looking forward to all of the get-togethers and I'm not usually a big fan of crowds. hehe I can't wait!

*************
On an unrelated note (or maybe along the same lines, i.e. reunions)...

I had a dream last night. My phone rang and it was an Unknown Caller. Normally I don't answer the phone if I don't know who's calling. The answering machine came on and I could tell there was a caller on the other end but they weren't talking. Convinced it wasn't a solicitor, I picked up the phone and said hello.

Nobody spoke at first but I heard a little giggle. I said, "Hello?" The second time someone replied.

She said, "Hi, Carrie. It's Millie."

Eight Random Things About Me

2007-07-22T11:46:00.001-08:00

1. All right, here are the rules.
2. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
3. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
4. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
5. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

So I've been tagged...by Connie...to do this meme. Eight random things shouldn't be hard, right? Except that it is. Ha! I'm not sure I can think of 8 things I haven't listed already. Hmmmm....

1. I love to sing in choirs. I was a part of at least one choir each year from 7th grade all the way through college. Two of the college choirs were by audition only and the concert choir (open to all) was bigger than my whole highschool. We were on Good Morning America once when the World Mountain Bike Championships (or something like that) took place in the same town and we performed a patriotic medley. I haven't been in a choir in a few years...but I'm always singing in the car!

2. I have only held 2 jobs my entire life. My first job, in a t-shirt transfer shop, lasted an entire month. I quit when the shop owner started going through the garbage after my shift to see what I had been up to. If she didn't trust me, she shouldn't have left me alone after a single 15 minute training session! I haven't shopped in her store since. I'm kinda stubborn that way. I'm still working my 2nd job. I've been a school district employee since February of 1993.

3. I love to color. I don't care what it is. A children's coloring book, a geometric design, a coloring page from the internet, whatever. With crayons more than markers. The only things I will not color are my own drawings. I have the most fun when coloring with kids. For some reason, they think it's so funny for an adult to sit down and color with them! Some of my fondest childhood memories are of me sitting on the couch with Jerry, a family friend, and coloring. I always wanted my pages to look as nice as his.

4. I am incredibly shy. It's hard for me to form new friendships because its hard for me to approach people I don't know. Once you've gained my trust, though, good luck getting rid of me!

5. I love musicals. Any musical. My mom used to perform in the theater. I'd go to all of her rehearsals and have the entire show memorized before opening night. But I'd still go see it every chance I got. You can't beat live theater, but I'll watch any musical in any format. I drove my dad bonkers watching Annie over and over again on HBO when I was small. It wasn't so much that I watched it...I sang along. heehee

6. I've never broken a bone, but have had over a dozen surgical operations. Most of them before the age of 5.

7. I used to be scared of clowns. When I was really small, my uncle dressed as a hobo for our 4th of July parade. He thought it would be fun to pick me up and carry me but I didn't recognize him with his make-up and got hysterical. I was scared of clowns for years as a result. So much so, that when my mom took me and my sister to Barnum and Bailey's "Greatest Show on Earth" in Seattle, I missed most of the circus acts. The dressing room was below our seats and everytime I saw a clown heading to the dressing room, I put myself to sleep.

8. I have ridden an elephant.

So now comes the part where I'm supposed to tag 8 more people. I don't think I know 8 more bloggers who haven't already posted this or something similar. I'll just skip that part. Unless you read this and decide you want to participate!

Where is the Sun?

2007-07-09T19:30:00.000-08:00

We had a very nice holiday despite the weather. It didn't rain all that hard and it wasn't constant so it wasn't as unbearable as we feared it would be.

The parade moved fast because of the weather, but there were a lot of participants. I'd post a small video of the firework display, but since they autoplay and I don't know how to disable that, I won't. I don't think fireworks and In The Garden would be a good mix. haha If you know how to find my Bebo page, you can view it there.

Michael's birthday was on the 3rd. He always tells me not to plan a party but his family always shows up anyway. It's a good thing I had cake to serve. I made spice cake with an apple filling. It was a huge hit and we had maybe about 1/4 of the cake left by the time they all left.

We went to Ketchikan on Friday so I could buy Michael his birthday gift. He needed a new chainsaw and I didn't trust myself to order one over the phone. We had to go so he could look at them and get the one he wanted. We went to a couple of movies while we were over there, too. It made for a very long day but it was nice to get away from home for the night.

He's been out of work for just over a week now. I've enjoyed having him home all day. I never understood how my friends could complain about too much time together. Why get married if you don't want to spend time with your husband? That just never made sense to me. Rick's wife is actually disappointed that he and Michael haven't gone back to California this year.

We had a few hours of mostly sunny skies yesterday but now we are back to rain. We haven't really had a summer this year. I don't remember, but my friend commented today that we shouldn't be seeing fireweed yet...that it usually blooms toward the end of summer. All I know is we haven't had enough sun. I really hope it clears up by the first week of August. We've got all kinds of people coming from out of town for our Founders Day celebrations, dance group anniversaries, and road dedication.

This has just been a rambling post full of nothing that really matters. I guess I should stop. I hope the rest of you had a safe, enjoyable holiday!

2007-06-24T18:17:00.000-08:00

Okay, I Can Take a Hint

2007-06-21T10:09:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry I haven't posted. I meant to. I just didn't.

I really haven't been up to a whole lot. Just relaxing, reading, and spending as little time on the computer as possible.

Michael is still working. He should have been done weeks ago but little things keep happening to prolong the job so he's still plugging away. The job with housing has started so he'll probably try to get hired there rather than go to California again. That's good because the pay will be better but I won't deny I'm a little disappointed. If he had gone to California I would have gone with him and that would have allowed me to see my mom and sister.

The more I think about it, the more I think we should be thinking about a permanent move. Not necessarily to California, but somewhere. Somewhere where he can find a more permanent job. Everytime we think we're ready we feel the pull of our family and end up staying. We're a couple of gumboots hopelessly stuck on this rock.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not unhappy here. There are plenty of things to love about this place. Especially this time of year. Everything is green and gorgeous and, aside from the mosquitoes, its a great time to be outdoors. Summer is a good time to be here.

Speaking of Summer, todays the first day of the season. Last year, Millie had this idea to stay up and watch the sun rise on the first day of summer. "Let's stay up and watch the start of summer", she said. So we did. Well, she didn't quite last till sunrise but we had fun trying. This time of year we'd chat first thing in the morning. She'd tell me where they were going to fish that day. I'd wish her luck and wait patiently for her to get back home to tell me how many fish they got. My days started and ended with Millie. I can't believe its coming up on 6 months since I've talked with her. My last contact with her was on the phone the day before she collapsed. I called her to thank her for the gift card she gave me for Christmas and let her know what I bought with it. I can't remember if I told her I love her.

Warming Up

2007-06-02T13:08:00.000-08:00

The weather is warming up. We were staying in the mid-to-high 50's all week. Now we're creeping up into the 60's. Tomorrow we're supposed to see 70. That's warm for here. Kids will be swimming in the ocean before too long if this keeps up.

Lucione got her job. She starts on Monday. She called me all excited on Thursday when she found out. She said, "Remember when I used to be a tight wad? I'm gonna be like that again!"

When she was really small, she LOVED money. She didn't spend it, but she loved to hoarde it. She had a stash here at my house, and another stash or two with her yaya. Whenever she'd find money, be it a dollar bill or a penny, she'd put it in her stash and every few months her yaya or her uncle and I would take her to the bank to make a deposit. She loved to see her balance go up! Too little to really understand what she was doing, but she loved it and we made a big deal out of her deposits.

A few years later, when she began to realize you could actually BUY things with money, she had big dreams of how she would spend her fortune. But still her money sits in the bank. She likes to plan...but can't part with her money. Which is a good thing, because her dreams were always full of Cool Ranch Doritos and Coke.

Michael was supposed to work today but the boss didn't show up. Same boss who killed the eggs last year. My goofy cousin. He decided to go and gather seaweed on the beach and didn't bother to call off work so Michael sat there for the better part of an hour until he finally decided to come back home. The boss just called...said he "forgot" to tell him last night. Funny how the rest of the crew knew all about it. Michael always gets forgotten.

But, the upside to that is, it's 63 degrees and we have a free afternoon! I'm so glad its warming up. I went to open my bedroom window this morning and realized I didn't even shut it last night. I didn't even feel a chill!

Catching Up

2007-05-30T17:03:00.000-08:00

So many things have happened this past month. I can't believe how fast time has passed! Between all of the graduations and spring concerts, school was just a whirlwind of activity right up to the very last day with Field Day!

I have had 2 full days at home alone now, and am still finding it hard to fill my time. I don't like to sit and watch the television hours on end, nor do I enjoy sitting at my computer all day any more. I don't have anyone to chat with, so time just drags when I'm online.

I mentioned in my previous post that both Michael and I had lost an uncle. His Uncle Chuck died on the beach gathering seafood for his family. That was one of his favorite things to do. He showed Michael his favorite spots for devil fish (octopus) a while back. Michael was so tickled. Now he almost feels as if he shouldn't go there because Chuck is no longer with us. I told him that if Chuck had wanted him to stay away he wouldn't have shared his secrets. I think at the next low tide, I'll encourage him to at least walk on Chuck's beach even if he can't find it in him to bring anything home.

My Uncle Don passed away after a long bout with cancer. I hadn't seen him recently but have many fond memories of him from my childhood. He was quiet but quick to smile. He had a unique and contagious laugh. That's what I'm going to miss the most. He lost his wife and children when they were young. I never did know how. I know he missed them, though, even after all these years. His passing has brought my family closer together. I'm sad that it took his death for us to realize we were drifting apart, but thankful at the same time. He's not suffering anymore and now we all have each other again. A blessing in disguise, I suppose.

Lucione and Lindsey are doing well. Lucione is filling out applications to hopefully get her first job. She doesn't like to spend money, but she likes having it. That will help her later in life, I think. She's quite responsible when it comes to money. The exact opposite of her mother. Lindsey is looking forward to going to a sleep-away camp in Juneau.

I am waiting to hear if Michael has a job and with which company. He has a chance to work with our housing authority as a truck driver. They need 25 new pads for 25 new houses. He also has been offered a job with the same company that had him traveling back and forth. He could possibly end up back in Fresno. He wants to work here at home because it means more money. I kinda want him to work in Fresno. We've discussed it and decided that if he gets a job in Fresno, rather than traveling back and forth, he'll stay down there all summer and I'll come join him. That would mean I'd be just a few hours drive away from my mom and sister. I haven't seen them in way too long and this would be a good chance to sneak in on them. I haven't told my mom yet...so if you are a part of my bebo page, please remember it's a secret! He's got a few days left with his current job and then we'll see what happens.

I think that's about it for now.

Mother's Day

2007-05-13T18:58:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I know...it's been over a MONTH since my last post! It's been a very busy month with plenty of ups and downs and here it is already Mother's Day.

Between baby showers, retirement parties, the death of one of Michael's uncles, the death of an uncle of my own, and trying to wind down to the end of the school year, I have tried to keep my sanity and my wits about me.

Now it's Mother's Day. I can't reach my mom. She had to work today. I've left messages on both of her phones and drew a picture for her on her Bebo whiteboard but haven't talked to her.

We don't really talk on the phone all that often, anyway, but I'm still a bit disappointed.

The weather is gorgeous today. Low 50's right now at 7PM. That's summer weather in these parts. haha We went for a drive, got pictures of a blue jay, and came home to find a gift on the couch (nope...we don't lock our doors when we leave the house; I don't remember the last time I used a key to get in).

It's a set of candles in martini glasses. It's a Mother's Day gift. From my in-laws. They both wrote very nice messages to me thanking me for being a 2nd mom to my girls. I got a phone call from Lindsey. She said, "Hi, Auntie. I just wanted to wish you a Happy Mother's Day. You're my 2nd mom, remember?"

Like I could forget.

I've dedicated much of my life to taking care of them. I help them with homework, lecture them about breaking curfew, talk to them about boys, attend every single activity they participate in, and have even been known to hand out a punishment or two.

I let them talk and when it's my turn, they listen. I am still amazed at how well, even after all these years.

I slipped up one time a few months ago. Lindsey was wearing make-up for the first time and I said to Michael, "Look at your daughter!" Nobody even caught the mistake. When I realized what I had said, Space Cadet said, "It's okay. You ARE their 2nd set of parents."

If I never bear a child of my own, it will be okay. It doesn't hurt as much as it used to. I'm actually glad I was free to be there for my nieces as much as I have been. To be able to give them my full attention and all of my love and the best guidance I knew how. I would never take full credit for raising them but it's nice to know that others, even the girls themselves, give me partial credit for the wonderful young ladies they are growing up to be.

Happy Mother's Day to the rest of you. Including you, Jay, another wonderful 2nd mother. :o)

Tossin' and Turnin'

2007-04-09T14:17:00.000-08:00

in·som·ni·a
–noun inability to obtain sufficient sleep, esp. when chronic; difficulty in falling or staying asleep; sleeplessness.

Lately I've been suffering from insomnia. I don't know what's causing it, but it's getting worse. Last night I didn't sleep AT ALL. I wasn't able to fall asleep till after 5:00AM. Needless to say, I didn't work today. I hate missing work but there was no way I could have gotten up at 6AM after falling asleep after 5AM and be able to function at work.

I've been having trouble sleeping for a couple of weeks, but this is the worst it's been. I've been able to function on 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night. I kept thinking the lack of sleep would eventually catch up to me and I'd fall back into a regular and more healthy sleep cycle. It hasn't happened and I've actually considered buying over-the-counter sleeping pills.

I hate taking pills. I don't even like taking asprin unless I absolutely have to. I'd much rather figure out what's causing my sleeplessness and fix it. I've had insomnia before, but it's always been in the summer when it didn't matter. It's so frustrating to feel tired and not be able to sleep. I tried everything. I switched beds...moved to the couch...watched tv...read a book...turned the heat down...turned the heat up...bundled up in blankets...used nothing but a sheet...NOTHING worked. Not until the clock struck 5AM and my brain finally shut off. I slept till about 12:30. I normally sleep 7 to 8 hours so I feel rested now. But how will I be able to fall asleep tonight after sleeping half of today away?

On the Mend

2007-04-07T09:51:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling so much better now. I'm no longer limping, I can actually lift my arm above my head without wincing, and my bruises are not sensitive to the touch unless they get bumped. I'm so glad that's over with. Now I'll be lucky if Michael lets me go hiking again any time soon. This wasn't even a real hike. Sheesh, we could see the lake from the road.

Millie's husband called me last night from the hospital. He put me on speaker phone and let me talk to Millie. Trouble was, he TOLD me I was on speaker phone and I got shy. I knew it was just Millie, her husband, and her youngest daughter...but stupid me, I still got shy and panicked. I couldn't think of what to say. Of course I told her I miss her and love her...I'm asking God to heal her and wake her up. After we hung up I thought of SO many things I could have told her. She's always asking about the weather. I could have told her about all the snow we got. I didn't tell her the birds have returned. Robins are everywhere. I didn't even tell her about the swans. :o( Adam said she opened her left eye a bit while I was talking to her. I like to think it's because she knew who I was and wanted to hear what I had to say.

Feeling OLD

2007-04-03T19:15:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling age creep up on me lately. The white hair doesn't bother me. My hair started changing in high school. But my body is feeling my age. I'm not old...but I'm far from being a spring chicken!

What I didn't tell you about my Sunday with my girls is the fact that I fell down while walking through to woods to see the swans. I twisted both ankles, scratched up my left forearm and bruised my left knee and shin pretty good. My left wrist is swollen and my right shoulder has been aching. At times it's hard to move my arm and Michael has talked me out of going to work 2 days in a row.

I hate missing work, but he's right when he says, "I think you should stay home if you can't move your arm. I think you need your arm at work." Had it been my left arm, I think I could have managed, but it's my right side and I'm right-handed for everything but eating.

Space Cadet thinks I should go to the clinic but I refuse. It's actually better today than it was yesterday. I just had an awful nights sleep because I kept rolling over onto my stomach and that hurt my bruises so I'd wake up. Sleeping on my back hurts my shoulder but I forgot to take Tylenol before bed last night. So tomorrow I'll go to work because I'm tired of staying home. I'll listen to her nag me about going to the clinic but I will not give in. What's the worst it could be? A broken collar bone, maybe? They'd just put me in a sling and give me Motrin.

No thanks, I'm just fine.

Springy Sunday

2007-04-01T18:45:00.000-08:00

What a beautiful day today! The sun was shining, I think we got over 40 degrees, and there was hardly any wind.

Space Cadet had a choir concert in Town today so her girls hung out with me. It was the first time we had both of them at the same time in quite a while. We had so much fun. We were outdoors for most of the day. We had a blast and they actually got along! When they were little we couldn't have both of them at the same time for more than a couple hours because they'd either get way too nuts or start fighting. It helps that they're both teenagers now, but they still have their moments. We kept them busy enough, though, that they had a very enjoyable day with each other without so much as a dirty look between them.

I want to apologize to anyone who still happens to be reading my blog. I don't know what's come over me...or maybe it's something that "hasn't". I just can't bring myself to visit my blog lately. I'm not online as much as I used to be. I'd like to say it's because I'm too busy doing other things. I'd like to...but I can't. I think about it...but when I turn the computer on I end up checking my e-mail...checking in with my mom and sister...maybe taking a peek at Bebo...and then I'm back off again.

Maybe I miss chatting with Millie. I've been thinking about her a lot lately. For the past 3 months, actually, but especially the past few days. They've moved her back to Alaska but she is still asleep. I knew she was a big part of my life before all of this but I don't think I realized just how big a part she played. I'd rush home from work everyday to turn on the computer and see if she was online. She'd ask me about my day and tell me about hers. She'd let me see her grand-daughter on the webcam. We'd look at each others blogs and Bebo pages...sometimes play games together. There were times we wouldn't even talk...but just knowing she was there was enough. If we couldn't connect online we'd talk on the phone. I really miss her. I pray for her every time I worry and lately I've been praying a lot. Part of me is feeling selfish. I want to know that she will remember me when she wakes up. Then I feel guilty. I shouldn't have thoughts like that and in reality that is not a big concern of mine at this point. I just want her to wake up so her family can have her back. If she never talks to me again, I will learn to live with that and be thankful for what we had. It's her family who needs her. Our friendship was truly God-given and I will be eternally grateful for all that she has done for me.

I think our outting today has a lot to do with me thinking so much about Millie. We saw some swans on the lake and Millie loves swans. One time we were online playing games and we decided to change our screen names to see if we could spot each other. I changed mine to NuYuuGwa'a, which means "It's Me!". Of course she knew it was me right away because of the spelling...she recognized it as being my native language. She changed her name to SwanLady. I thought of her when we were at the lake today. When I got home I wanted to show her the swans and for a split second forgot that I can't.

Back from Regionals

2007-03-14T08:33:00.000-08:00

We had a very nice time in Sitka. Our basketball teams did not place as high as we had hoped, but they played hard and were good sports. I am very proud of each and every one of them. Lucione and Alexys received the Good Sport Award. That means they played fairly and with a good attitude all season long. Alexys made the All-Conference Team which is based on play all season long and is decided by all of the SE Alaska 3A coaches. The boys lost their first game and immediately went into the consolation bracket. They won their second game. So depending on who you ask, they either got 4th or 5th. The girls won their first game and moved onto the semi-finals where they lost. They played for 3rd place and lost that game, too. So they ended up at either 4th or 5th. The bracket wasn’t marked and some think losing the 3rd place game puts you at 4th but some think the winner of the other game should get 4th. Either way, the girls did better than last year. They didn’t make it past the first round last year. Next year should be even better.

We were with my in-laws enough that it felt like a family trip, but not so much that we got sick of each other. We were all in the same hotel (11 of us total) and 5 of them were right across the hall from me.

Sitka is a nice little town and I wish I had more time to explore. We missed one game a day in order to have a late lunch/early supper. Other than that, we were at every session Wednesday through Friday. Saturday we went to the shooting competitions and drill team adjudication. We took a break to do laundry then went back to the gym to listen to the Mass Pep Band because Lucione and Alexys were participating. We didn’t watch the SE Championships. We went to a movie instead.

Wild Hogs was a pretty funny movie. :o) The theater was small and I was sort of embarrassed at how loud Michael was laughing, but it actually made the movie even more fun. He had spent the prior 3 days irritated with the refs at the games so it was good to hear him HAPPY.

I’m at work and my first class is about to arrive so I need to stop here. I’ll come back later when I’m home and try to add some pictures.

Oh yeah! It snowed the whole time we were there and now it’s snowing here at home! :o)

Basketball Fever

2007-02-26T18:04:00.000-09:00

No, Connie. I haven't gone to Sitka yet. I leave home on the 5th, arrive in Sitka on the 6th, and return back home on the 11th. But I will take photos and bring back a full report of how Lucione and her team does in the tournament.

This whole town is inflicted with Basketball Fever. With Little League in full swing now, and the adults just returning from a tournament in Canada, the main topic of conversation is basketball.

This weekend we have one more home-game series with the Mt. Edgecumbe girls and then we're off to Sitka. This is our first time attending the tournament in a place other than Ketchikan. I know it's because it's Lucione's first year. Michael's already hinted that we'll be following her throughout high school. If we follow her, we have to follow Lindsey so we've got another 5 years of tournaments to travel to before we're done, I think. It's a good thing I like to travel!

We've been getting snow for a little over a week and it doesn't seem to want to stop. The mountains are gorgeous, but the roads are bare. That's a good thing. The snow is just the right consistency to be pretty as it falls and then melt as it hits the ground. I'm happy to watch it fall and everyone else is happy to not have to shovel or drive around in slush or ice.

I only worked 2 full days last week. Had I not been testing, I probably wouldn't have worked at all. I caught a nasty cold and am only now starting to feel like I just might beat this thing. No fevers for two whole days!

Because of my cold, there really isn't a whole lot to report on. 8 days till I leave. :o) I should have plenty to talk about when I get back. I better bring my Palm Pilot with me to take notes so I don't forget anything! haha

Basketball, Basketball, Basketball

2007-02-10T22:30:00.000-09:00

That seems to be all I have time for anymore. With Lucione on the high school varsity team and Lindsey in little league, it seems all I'm doing lately is watching basketball.

They give me the 3rd degree when I don't show up so it's easier for me to just suffer through it all. haha I enjoy it, though. Aside from the fact that it's hard to walk after sitting on hard bleachers for so long!

Other than basketball, there isn't a whole lot going on in my life right now. Work is going well for a change. Either that or I've gotten really good at ignoring all the negative stuff. hehe

Michael just finished his first week off. Hopefully, there will only be 2 more. If it works out that way, he'll work a week and then we'll both take a week off for a trip to Stika. For....you guessed it....more basketball. We don't usually go to the Regional tournament unless its in Town, but it's Lucione's first year and Uncle Mike wouldn't even think of missing it so off we go. It should be a nice trip. I haven't been to Sitka since I was a senior in high school (18 years ago! sheesh!).

The last time we were in Town, I added Michael to my cell phone plan and bought him a phone of his own. That made him happy. He's like a kid with a toy. He loves his phone. haha I upgraded mine so I'm having fun playing with the camera. My old phone didn't have one. Only problem is, I can't figure out how to get my pictures off my phone! I've tried sending them to myself but it's not working. The cool thing is, I have our school song as my ring tone. Space Cadet is jealous. haha

That's about all the news I have for now. Life moves slow in this little village of ours. I hope whoever reads this is happy and well!

Daily Rules

2007-02-06T15:24:00.000-09:00

Daily Rules from God for 2007

1. Wake Up!! Decide to have a good day.
"Today is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalms 118:24

2. Dress Up!! The best way to dress up is to put on a smile. A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance; but the Lord looks at the heart." I Samuel 16:7

3. Shut Up!! Say nice things and learn to listen. God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking.
"He who guards his lips guards his soul." Proverbs 13:3

4. Stand Up!!... For what you believe in. Stand for something or you will fall for anything..
"Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good..." Galatians 6:9-10

5. Look Up!!... To the Lord.
"I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me." Phillippians 4:13

6. Reach Up!!... For something higher.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, And He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6

7. Lift Up!!... Your Prayers.
"Do not worry about anything; instead PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING." Philippians 4:6

You say....HE says

2007-01-29T20:50:00.000-09:00

You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)

You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 3:34 )

You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28 )

You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)

You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5 & Deut. 31:6)

They won! (Updated with pictures)

2007-01-28T12:57:00.000-09:00

Our high school girls team won both Friday and Saturday night. Friday I suspected it was because the visiting team was on the road and water all day. I figured they were fatigued from travel and expected Saturday's game to be a bit closer.

Well, they started off neck and neck, but our girls eventually pulled away and rather than win by 22 as the night before, they won by 18.

It was good to get out of the house, though I felt guilty every time I ran into a co-worker. I'm just glad our principal chooses not to attend ballgames. Ever. I'm not sure why I felt guilty. It's not like I was home on a self-proclaimed "vacation". Far from it. I STILL had headaches yesterday. I think today will be a good day. I haven't left the house yet, but plan to soon. The puppies are getting antsy. It's time for a good long walk.

***************

This was one of Alexys' few moments of rest. She's co-captain and plays most of the game. I'm pretty sure she had the high score on Saturday night. She made about 4 lay-ups after stealing the ball. She's an awesome player and only a sophomore. She and Lucione are both excellent ball players. I can't wait till Lindsey joins them. They'll all have one year together before Alexys graduates.

Lucione plays really tough defense. It's hard for anyone to drive on her. She plays tough and has the battle scars to prove it! When I spoke to her after Friday's game, she said, "Aunty, I have a swollen pinkie, a floor burn on my left knee and a bruise on my right thigh!" She didn't get hurt on Saturday, but still played a tough game. :o)

I'm On My Way

2007-01-26T10:40:00.000-09:00

After an entire week of headaches, stomach aches, dizziness, fatigue, and loss of appetite, I think I am finally on my way back to normal. I've, at least, regained some of my appetite - which may or may not be a good thing.

I think it was all sparked by my niece Lindsey. She spent a night with us last weekend and ended up being sick. She threw up and had a tummy ache the entire time she was here. I should have been more firm with her when I offered to take her home and she refused.

Add to that the stress of my life lately, and there you go. The perfect recipe for a week of pain and misery.

I just found out a few days ago that Michael will be laid off at the end of the month. The plan is, for it to be a 3 week break while the machinery gets serviced in Town. Last year, the plan was for them to start work in March...their first day was in June. So I'm crossing my fingers, eyes, and toes that this plan doesn't change.

We are having the PERFECT weather. It's clear and chilly. Not really cold, it's staying in the 20's, but it's better than the 40's and rain we've had for the past few weeks. We ran out of fuel overnight, though, so I almost wished for warmer temps this morning. The fuel guy is on his way, though, so that thought went right out the window. :o)

Lucione and Alexys have a game tonight...and another tomorrow. Hydaburg is coming to town. They should be some good games. They're usually pretty well matched. At least they were before Lucione joined the team. ;o) We'll have to see what happens.

Michael will be home for lunch soon. I better get his lunch ready. I almost wish it was summer break already so I could do this everyday. :o)

Peanut Buttah

2007-01-24T08:41:00.000-09:00

Did you know that today is Peanut Butter Day? Whenever I think of peanut butter, I think of my niece Marie. When she first learned to talk, she had trouble with her "r's", as a lot of children do. She sounded like a little Bostonian, though she's never left the west coast! She didn't really have a temper, she's always been good-natured, but when she was upset with you for any reason, she'd let you know it. Now mind you, she was only about 3 at the most. (This picture was taken around the time I'm thinking of.)

First, let me say this: most of the kids in Michael's family, for a reason I have not been able to figure out, used foul language when they were tiny. They spoke the "bad" words as clear as a bell before they mastered the normal toddler vocabulary. What was even stranger, is they knew "how" and "when" to use them! They were like a bunch of little loggers and nobody could understand why. Their family doesn't curse, at least not like the children had learned to.

Then came Marie. She knew the bad words were bad and she would never say them. In fact, she'd get so excited when the other kids could get through a day without cursing. She'd say, "Momma, Michael Richard didn't call me a 'you-know-what' today!"

This didn't stop her from wanting to call you names if you upset her, though. She'd stomp her little feet and say, "Be nice, you Peanut Buttah! You mean Candy Bah!"

She was(is) very close to her Uncle Mike from the time she was a baby, so it was natural that she attach herself to me. She used to come running across the room to give me a big hug whenever I walked in. One time she even knocked me over!

By the time Michael and I got married, she was 8 years old and Michael Richard was 5. She was so proud to be in the wedding. She'd ask me, "How many more days, Aunty?" I heard that everyday for the entire month of August.

I won't say she's had a hard life, but it hasn't been easy. Her dad committed suicide when she was quite young. I don't think she even remembers him except through pictures. When her sister Stephanie was 3 years old, she died of spinal menangitis. School was always a chore for her. She ended up having to go to a boarding school in Oregon in order to get through high school. She's had to work hard, but she's come a long way.

She's 22 now and we love to embarrass her by bringing up her childhood days. She worked at the school last year and she was an aide in Special Education. The girl she was assigned to tried to tease her and call her a goofball. She mistakingly said, "Marie, you're a gumball."

When Marie told me about it, I asked her, "Did you call her a candy bar?" We had a good laugh at that one. She has an infectious laugh.

She's away from home again and I miss her. I won't see her again until possibly July, unless I find a way to get up north to see her. She's up in Palmer attending Job Corp. I pray she's keeping busy and learning a lot.

Prayer Request

2007-01-23T21:29:00.000-09:00

Millie is scheduled for surgery at 9:40 AM Pacific time tomorrow, Wednesday January 24th. Please pray that all goes well. God has been so good thus far. Pray that the surgery go smoothly and that He continue His healing in Millie.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Another Long Weekend

2007-01-22T11:14:00.000-09:00

I stayed home today. I was kept awake most of the night with a headache. At least I think it was a headache. It was at the back of my head, towards the right side, just above my neck. I couldn't really tell if it was my head or neck hurting and at times it felt like both. Right now it's feeling more like my head but I still think it's a weird place for a headache. I learned early on that its best to stay home when I have a headache. It's hard to concentrate and be patient when all you can think about is the nagging pain. It takes a lot of patience to work with the teachers I do. haha I'm just kidding...they're a good bunch.

Speaking of work, Friday was an inservice day for our building. It was a computer workshop so I couldn't duck out. Before it even started, the principal had me wishing I had. He didn't do anything bad. I think he was trying to make up for what he didn't do back in December and if you ask me, he went a little overboard.

Even though it was a computer workshop, he had us all meet in the library for a staff meeting. It was about 15 to 20 minutes and he spent that entire time singing my praises. He told them how much I do...computer lab, library, data entry, trouble shooting, answer phones when needed, and on and on and on. He admitted that he asks a LOT of me and puts a lot of pressure on me to get things done. He said that no matter what he asks of me, I always manage to get it done, do a thorough job, and do it without griping. While I appreciated his observations, I was not comfortable with him stating all that at a staff meeting.

My best guess is he's thinking about what happened last month. This is his way of making up for his mistakes without actually taking responsibility. I've already put it behind me. I won't let him talk to me about it because it won't do any good. He'll never talk to Ms. B about it...I know him well enough to not even hope for that. I'm not holding a grudge because that would be a waste of energy but I will not talk about it. I just wish he would stop already with the small talk and the compliments. He must have thanked me 10 times on Friday. Enough already!

Lucione is on the varsity basketball team this year. She's a freshman and gets a lot of playing time. They got off to a rough start, losing 3 in a row. But Saturday night they earned their 4th straight win up in Haines. I'm so proud of her. She's doing very well. All that time it takes to participate in a sport has not affected her grades at all. She finished the semester with a 4.0!

Lindsey is doing well, too. I don't know her GPA but it was high enough to get her on Honor Roll and she has the highest GPA of the entire 7th grade! My babies are making me proud. :o)

Last week Lindsey came to the library in my building to work on her homework. She showed me all of her certificates (She got a bunch of awards, not just Honor Roll). When she asked for help with her vocabulary I said, "You don't need my help, Ms. Highest GPA."

She said, "YOU are the reason I have highest GPA!" How do you say no after that? haha

My friend Millie is showing signs she may be waking up soon. She's become sensitive to touch. If you lay a hand on her or touch her in any way, she moves. And not just small movements. She really moves and only calms down if you talk to her and tell her what you are doing. The last I heard, the doctors were wanting her to wake up by Wednesday. Please help me pray that she does. Also pray that the swelling continue to decrease. Thank you.

To Millie

2007-01-16T12:40:00.000-09:00

I Miss You, Millie

You’re loving, kind, and thoughtful
Understanding and caring, too
Your friendship is a priceless gift
A treasure, rare and true

You listen when I need to talk
You let me know you care
When I need some cheering up
It’s you who’s always there

I’ve come to you for guidance
When I’d felt I’d gone astray
You’d gently redirect me
In your gentle, caring way

I’m grateful for all that you’ve done
I thank God every day
For bringing you into my life
I pray you’re here to stay

I’m feeling quite selfish
I’m not ready to let go
I pray that God will heal you
May His blessings overflow

You’ll be a living testament
To what God alone can do
You’ll walk and talk and laugh again
God will help you to

Until that day all I can do
Is lift you up in prayer
I can’t be with you, but that’s okay
‘Cause I know God is there

I wish that I could tell you
What’s in my heart today
I’d tell you that my love for you
Will never go away

I’d tell you how I think of you
From sunrise to day’s end
I’d tell you just how very much
I miss you, my dear friend.

Gee Whiz!

2007-01-15T14:27:00.000-09:00

I was in the middle of a nice long post and then the power went out and I lost it. I guess I should have expected it being that we lost power twice last night and twice again this morning but I thought we were good since the wind has calmed a bit and the power was on for at least 6 hours straight.

I can't recreate what I typed...you'll just have to miss out. Sorry.

:o)

It was just talking about how strong the winds were...they've since calmed to 56 so that's good. I tried to tell you about how I got up in the dark, showered by candlelight and ate cold cereal in order to get to work on time. I wrote about the superintendent's wife calling me at 7:48 this morning...after I had already left for work...to tell me that school has been canceled.

I also mentioned my friend. She's not yet awake but I am encouraged because she is improving. They've removed the drainage tube from her brain as well as the mouth guard. She has become more responsive when the doctors and nurses come in to do what they need to do. She reacts to what they are doing by moving her head or parts of her body. She still needs prayer, but she is taking little baby steps towards recovery.

I better get going before I lose power again. Too bad you missed out on my other post. It was a good one. :o)

Back at Work

2007-01-09T13:29:00.000-09:00

The first day back was the toughest. The principal kept making attempts to talk to me about “the incident”, as it’s come to be labeled, but I would find reasons to leave the room. I must have heard, “Are you okay?” and “How’s your day going?” at least 10 times yesterday. As far as I’m concerned, it’s too little too late. He should have been concerned the day it happened.

Anyway, as long as I’m not dealing with the principal, things are going well. It was so good to see the kids again. My first class of the day was Kindergarten. I got a lot of hugs. :o) One little girl couldn’t wait to tell me about her new pinyanyo (piano) keycord (keyboard).

I wore a necklace yesterday that I received as a gift from a friend of mine who lives in New Zealand. There is a hole in the middle of it and a 2nd grader said, “I really like your necklace!” I thanked her and she said, “It looks like a tone?”

“A tone?” I asked.

“Yeah, a tone…you know…LAAA!” And she’s right, it does sort of resemble a musical note. :o)

We got a tiny bit of snow overnight. I would normally be ecstatic but now it’s cold so the snow is frozen. That means our roads are super slick. I’m loving the cooler temps, though. I hope it stays this way for a few days.

My friend is showing signs of improvement but is still in need of prayer. She is still asleep, but is able to breathe on her own for longer and longer periods of time. They hope to have her completely off the ventilator by the end of the week. Being intubated has caused fluid to collect in her lung and she now has pneumonia. The good news is, she has been moving her legs and hands in response to stimuli. They’re decreasing the medication that has been keeping her sedated so hopefully she’ll begin to wake soon. The edema in her brain has decreased and she is able to regulate her own body temperature. She’s making tiny improvements every day but has a long road ahead of her, I think. Please continue to pray for her.

Tournament

2006-12-30T10:45:00.000-09:00

Lucione and Alexys participated, along with their high school basketball team, in a tournament in Town this week. After losing their first game against a much bigger school from out of state, they came back to win their second and third games. Their third game was against a team that had defeated them twice earlier in the month so it should be a huge boost to their confidence. Our team averages about 7 players a game due to low grades and/or injuries of the other players. They ended the tournament in 4th place! I wasn't there to see it, but listened on the radio and had I not been in a moving vehicle, would have jumped out of my seat many, many times. The game was THAT exciting. Our team was behind by 9 at half time. That increased to 13 before they managed to pull up within striking distance. They pulled within 2, fell back a bit, tied it up, fell behind by 1, tied it up, pulled ahead, were tied up again...I'm telling you...it went right down to the buzzer. With 1.4 seconds on the clock we were fouled...made one shot to break the tie and pull ahead to win. I'm so proud of them. Our girls team has never placed any better than 6th in that tournament.

***************************

Please, continue to pray for my friend. I'm encouraged that her intial surgery and the following angiogram went well, but she is still sleeping and has a ways to go. Her head is still open to allow for swelling of her brain. Please pray that she continue to heal. Pray that God guide the doctors to find and fix any other problems she may have in her brain so that she can continue to heal. Pray that God grants her family comfort and strength. Thank you.

Please, Please, PLEASE Pray For My Friend

2006-12-28T13:52:00.000-09:00

A very dear friend of mine is in need of prayer. Her son called me yesterday to tell me she had collapsed and was in the hospital on a ventilator. I just received word from one of her daughters that she was medi-vacced to Seattle last night. She required emergency surgery due to swelling/bleeding in her brain. Please lift her and her family up in prayer. Pray for healing. Pray that God give her family strength and comfort during this most difficult time.

Our Christmas

2006-12-28T11:48:00.000-09:00

We had a really nice Christmas. I didn't bake cookies because of time constraints (and my last 2 hours of work kinda helped to ruin the mood) but Michael got his bread done so everyone was happy. :o)

I was so tickled at his reaction to all of his gifts. I did well this year. :o) He did, too. I received a GREEN iPod Nano and an electric keyboard. I haven't attempted to play piano or keyboard in years. I have already semi-mastered 3 Christmas carols. :o)

After planning to be alone, we got roped into attending a big dinner on Christmas. We had a prime rib roasting in the oven when Michael's mother called. She said, "You know, Dad would REALLY like the whole family to be here for Christmas." Michael can't ever say no to his mother so we ate early and went and visited with them while they ate their meal. Turned out to be a nice visit for the most part. I won't go into the parts that weren't so nice, as I've just had lunch and would like to keep it down. :o)

The day after Christmas we had another big family gathering for my niece Marie. She's in Town right now watching Lucione play in a basketball tournament and then she's headed north to attend Job Corp in Palmer.

I'm glad the big parties are over with. Now I can just enjoy my time off. I still have an entire week!

I need to VENT

2006-12-20T17:48:00.000-09:00

Tomorrow is supposed to be our last day of school until January 8th. I walked out the door at 10AM this morning and do not plan on going back until January. I didn't ask permission to leave. I don't know if I'm in trouble. But I couldn't stay. Let me explain...

Part of my job this year is to maintain the library with another person. Neither one of us has been trained as a librarian but our district won't pay for a licensed librarian so we were just sorta put in there.

This is my 2nd year (though not consecutively) in the library and I've learned my way around. I've learned the software so I can check books in and out as well as catalog new books and create barcode labels to scan both the borrower and the book they have chosen.

Lately, we've been having trouble with over-due books. Kids take them home and leave them there...teachers check them out for research and fail to return them in a timely manner. We've got an over-due list with around 65 items listed. In a school of 150 kids, that's a big number.

Sometimes, the kids return the books when we are not in the library so they get re-shelved without being properly checked in. For this reason, we decided not to have library classes this week. We were going to take the opportunity to get the shelves organized and make sure that all of the books that are over-due are actually checked out and not sitting on the shelves.

We put a notice in the bulletin LAST WEEK. Today, the 3rd grade teacher (Mrs. B) brought her class to the library. I was finishing up a computer class and the other lady was in a meeting with the principal. Mrs. B went to the office and asked why we weren't in the library. The secretary told her, "It's been in the bulletin for a week and a half...there is no library class this week."

The teacher went back to the library and started reading a book to her kids. Not knowing they were there, I walked through on my way to the office. I was going to tell the secretary where she could find me if she needed me. Half way through, the teacher said, "I guess it's been in the bulletin that there's no library this week?" I told her it had been. One of her students spoke up and said, "Well, we do get out tomorrow." Mrs. B said, "I know but I CHOSE TO WORK TODAY."

That really stung. I bit my tongue, went to the secretary and told her what happened. She agreed that regardless of how Mrs. B felt, she should not have made a comment like that in front of her kids. I felt as if she was insinuating I was slacking off...like I closed the library just to take a break. She's part of the problem...she's got 10 books checked out in her name...8 of them are over-due.

I told the secretary I was going to go into the library to do what I needed to do...that I would NOT be checking her books in or allowing her to check out any new ones. She said that was only fair since it had been in the bulletin for so long.

On my way in, I met the other lady who works in the library. She said, "Now this is what all the teachers should be doing. Reading to their own kids." I said, "Yeah, but I don't think she's doing it because she wants to. She's being stubborn about her library time because she failed to see the notice about no classes this week." I told her about Mrs. B's comment and she turned around and went and told the principal.

I sat at my desk to barcode some books and Mrs. B instructed one of her students to turn the light off. I can't figure out why she wanted to read in the dark, but it made it impossible for me to do my work. I couldn't see the books I needed to enter. I got up and went back to the secretary.

She knows me well enough to know when I'm upset. She asked what was wrong. I told her how Mrs. B had turned off the lights. She asked if I said anything. I said, "No. She knew I was there...and I have enough respect for her that I'm not going to exchange words in front of her students."

Just then, the principal came out of his office. The secretary told him about the lights. He didn't even stop walking. He just looked at me and said, "Just keep smiling, let it go and move on." He walked right out the door before I could say anything.

I looked at the secretary and said, "Keep smiling? Do I look like I'm smiling? I can't "keep" doing something I wasnt' doing to begin with." I got up and walked out.

I had a computer class from 9:30 to 10:00. It was about 9:25. I sat at my desk trying to remain calm but it was hard not to cry. I tried to compose myself while the kids were there, and did for the most part, but they knew something was up. Little kids are very perceptive.

I just couldn't get past his words. "Let it go and move on." Easier said than done. First the teacher insulted me in front of her kids and then the principal acted as if my feelings don't matter. Like I'm not deserving of a little respect. Like HE doesn't care about the rest of us as long as HE doesn't have to deal with anything.

I don't think the teacher should have gotten away with treating me like that. I don't think I should have to just "move on". Had I said the same sort of comment to her, you can bet she'd be screaming and hollering till something was done about it.

Once my computer class was over, I shut down my computer and put on my coat. The other library lady tried to talk to me but I was too close to tears. I wouldn't stop. She said she told the principal about "the incident" and asked if he had talked to me. I said, "No. He doesn't care. I'm going home." Just then the secretary came running out of her office and I said, "Bye. I'm going home. See you in January."

I haven't called her to see if the principal even reacted to my leaving. I almost hope he fired me.

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas

2006-11-30T13:43:00.000-09:00

At least inside my house. :o) Although, we do have some snow on the ground. We had quite a snowfall yesterday. We ended up with over a foot before it finally stopped. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I LOVE winter! The snow was so beautiful. I love watching it snow. I tired really hard to convince the principal to declare a snow day and send us home, but he wouldn't budge. :o)

My shopping is almost done. We're going to Town next weekend. I hope to finish up then. Once that's done, all that's left is the baking. I'm still wondering how we'll manage. Michael's part should be easy. The plan is, for him to work for 2 more weeks. It looks like the weather will shut them down. So he'll have an entire week before I get my Christmas Break to finish up his bread. If he bakes on Wednesday and Thursday, then I can start on Friday and hopefully be done by Saturday evening. If I bake around the clock, maybe. haha

I can't believe Christmas is almost here already! Tomorrow's the 1st of December! Where has the time gone? The 22nd is the last day of our semester. That's crazy. We're colder than normal this year so I've been battling illness after illness. I've quit staying home when I feel sick because I was spending more time in bed than at work.

I hope the rest of you (if anyone's still reading) are happy, well, and ready for Christmas! I hope to catch up on your blogs soon. BUT I have to decorate my tree first! :o)

A Change of Tide

2006-11-20T06:37:00.000-09:00

Boy, what a day we had on Saturday! Michael and I went to Town to spend some time with Theodore (his birthday is coming up), get the rest of our "fixings" for Thanksgiving, check on the status of our TV, and get my Christmas Bears from Wal-Mart.

So many things kept happening and we managed to stay just ahead of it all. We were so lucky all day long!

First, we picked up Theodore and took him to Wal-Mart to choose his birthday gift. We had a smooth, steady ride all the way out there. He was quicker than expected so we decided to buy him lunch. Of course he picked McDonalds. He said, "Aunty, I can eat a whole Big Mac!" We brought him there, bought him the Big Mac meal, and sure enough...he ate the whole thing. Burger, fries, AND a medium root beer! On the way in from Wal-Mart, we noticed the traffic going the other way was almost at a stand-still. We were lucky enough to be on the side NOT blocked by construction work on the way out and on the way back.

We had to run a few errands and ended up picking up a friend who wanted to go to Wal-Mart. So, we dropped Theodore off and went back out to Wal-Mart. Again...no traffic troubles. We were in Wal-Mart for the better part of an hour. We finally finish up, head to the car and as we're leaving the parking lot the power went out. We left JUST in time!

We dropped our friend off at the restaraunt near the ferry terminal (still no traffic troubles) and headed to Safeway. When we got to the intersection, the lights were still off. We turned into the parking lot, parked, and the mall lights came on. PERFECT timing!

I don't know how many times we'd pull off the main road only to see a fire engine go by. I think it was at least 3 times. We never did have to pull over and let them pass. The timing was just right for us that day.

Things have never gone so well over there for us. Usually we're stressed about time. But not today. Even the weather was on our side. We had a pleasant ride over. Once we got there, it rained pretty hard and got rather windy. It calmed down before we loaded the ferry and didn't get stormy again until after we were home. I don't know what it was. But we definitely had luck on OUR side!

I Am Having the Worst Luck!

2006-11-13T18:37:00.000-09:00

My ISP has been ringing busy for over a week now! I can connect, but it takes a LONG TIME. I set my dialer to re-dial 215 times when the line is busy. There have been many times that I've had to start over because I reached the limit and still hadn't connected. It's SO frustrating.

I'm also getting frustrated by the weather. I want it to get cold. I want it to get really cold. We're stuck in the 30's and it's raining. :o(

I'm irritated with the TV repair people. They finally let us take our TV in to be repaired and then they went on a 2 week workshop! They get back tomorrow. Hopefully, they finished the TV before they left, or will have it fixed by the 18th. That's the date of our next trip over and it would be good to bring the TV back with us. I don't watch a lot of TV, but I'm still irritated.

I hate that this has all been negative...but that's my life lately. At least I've stopped sneezing and haven't had a fever in days!

NO Time

2006-11-04T22:19:00.000-09:00

I feel like the White Rabbit. Constantly late...sometimes not even arriving at my destination.

I've been fighting cold after cold. Most recently, a mild flu. Tonight was my first time out of the house since Tuesday afternoon because it was my first day without a fever.

I have been having problems getting online. I'm still on dial-up and my internet provider has been ringing busy for day. When I do manage to get online, I don't stay on very long because I'm on the main phone line at the moment and don't want to tie up the line.

What little time I do find online is monopolized by my mother. She's either got a million questions about a million different things or wants me to play a game with her. I'm lucky to keep up with e-mail. I can't ever find time to chat with anyone else or type a post.

The weather around here has been so nice. Mid 30's to low 40's...clear, sunny skies...slight, cool breezes. I love this kind of weather. Only way it could be better is to be colder...with a snowflake or two. :o)

Long Time No See

2006-10-12T09:47:00.000-08:00

Wow. It has been forever since I’ve set myself down to write. I visit your blogs, though…even though I haven’t been commenting.

I’ve been keeping busy on my computer doing other things and just haven’t made time to write an entry. My mom and I communicate with each other almost daily now. That’s a big change and it’s been so nice. We play on a game site together. We use Bebo together. It’s been a lot of fun. :o)

That doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten you all, though. I still think of you all often and check in on your blogs to keep up with what’s going on.

Away from the computer I’m just enjoying my husband being able to work at home this year and trying to stay healthy. I’m getting over a terrible cold that had me sleeping most of the weekend. I’m thankful that it happened when it did, because rather than missing 3 or 4 days of work, I only missed Friday and Monday.

Work has been going okay. There is one particular teacher who has been getting on my nerves but overall it’s been a good year so far. Our first quarter is almost over already! The official end of the quarter is the 27th but the kids’ last day that week will be on the 25th. We have a 2 day inservice coming up. Oh, joy! I’m still crossing my fingers I won’t have to attend.

The weather has been quite nice considering we are into Fall. We haven’t had any of our usual rain/wind storms. It’s foggy today. I don’t know why, but I’ve always loved the fog. The world around me just seems so peaceful when it’s foggy. Maybe it’s just because I can’t SEE the world around me! Haha

The kids are getting excited about Halloween. Craig won’t tell me what he’s going to be. He said it has to be a surprise. Mikayla is going to be a ghost so nobody will know who she is. I told her, “I’ll know.” She said I wouldn’t because she’d be in a sheet. I said, “I’ll know your voice.” She said, “Well, people who aren’t my aunty will NOT know who I am.”

I’m at work…I’ve babbled long enough. I’ll try to remember to write more often. I just don’t feel I have anything worth saying these days.

Busy as a Bee

2006-09-11T16:24:00.000-08:00

I don't remember ever "feeling" this busy. Not really doing anything, but I'm doing it non-stop. Weird.

This past weekend was busy, but its not just that. Even at work, when I don't have a class, I've got this pressing feeling that I need to be doing something. When I find something to do, my mind moves on to the next task even before finishing the task at hand. I hate when I get like this.

Friday we had cake and ice cream with Lindsey for her 13th birthday. Her birthday is acutally on the 10th, but she wanted a dance and we're not allowed to have dances on Sundays so we had to do it on Friday. After cake and ice cream we went to the high school to watch Lucione and Megan play volleyball. Then we went back to the teen center for Lindsey's dance.

On Saturday we watched more volleyball. They lost all their games, but I'm so proud of them. They didn't give up, even when the score was 20 - 2. They played hard and Lucione actually got some digs and scored some points with her serve! I thought she did very well for a freshman considering we don't have junior high volleyball.

Sunday we baked bread. And by "we" I mean Michael. 28 loaves. That's a lot of bread. I helped a little, but not enough to matter.

Today I had a lot to do at work, but it was all desk work. I wasn't up running from classroom to classroom like I usually am, although I feel exhausted.

Craig's teacher shared a little story with me at the end of the day today. Craig is a complicated kid. He's extremely bright and has a quick wit. But he's easily annoyed and irritated. He doesn't handle noise very well. He's extremely competetive but hates to lose. He has a short temper at times, but has gotten better at controlling himself at school. So anyway, his teacher made a comment to him today.

She said, "Craig, you're doing great. You had a good day on Friday and another good day today. Two days in a row, I'm going to have to call home and tell Mom."

Without missing a beat, he replied, "Well, that's a first."

I Survived

2006-09-02T14:42:00.000-08:00

My first week of work was not so bad. It went by rather slowly because we were busy with workshops and such, but everything went along as smooth as can be. Even the technical problems I usually have at the beginning of the year were not so terrible. Funny thing is, tech support is now contracted out...to a company in Juneau, hundreds of miles away. They're easier to get in touch with and respond faster than the last 3 tech guys we've had on site!

My second week of work (the student's first week back) was even better. It was so good to see the kids again! I can't even guess at how many hugs I received from them. Only thing is, along with their hugs, they shared their sniffles and sneezes.

BUT even my cold is not so bad. I have a cough and an occasinal stuffy nose, but I don't really "feel" sick. I'm so thankful for that.

There have been a lot of changes at school. My room was carpeted, as was the rest of the building. The building has been repainted inside and out, and a brand new playground has been installed. Even the network was over-hauled.

I have a long weekend this week because of Labor Day. That means that for the first time in a month, Michael actually gets a 2 day weekend. We're going to take advantage of that and spend a night in Town. It's been 2 months since we've been over there and 6 months since we've stayed over night. This time we'll actually be able to watch a movie! I don't even know what's playing, but I don't care. I just want the popcorn. hehe

That's about all I have for now. I'm off to figure out what to cook for dinner.

SO Much to Catch Up On!

2006-08-15T14:47:00.000-08:00

Yeah, yeah, I know...I've neglected my blog. Thanks to those of you who took the time to check up no me via e-mail. :o)

I've been busy. Not all of it is worth sharing, but it has all kept me from the computer. Okay, that's not entirely true...when I do find time for the computer, I have been spending a lot of that time chatting with my mom.

But anyway, what else...

Alexys turned 15. We had a family dinner/party for her. I took the easy way out and bought her a gift certificate for an online book store. I normally prefer to shop for an actual gift, but she LOVES to read, almost more than I do. I had no idea what she has or hasn't read so figured that would be the best choice for her. She was quite happy with it. :o)

There was a basketball camp here a few weeks ago. Mikayla and Craig were involved. I'm not sure about Craig, but this was Mikayla's first time playing with a team in front of a crowd. They were so cute! They both looked scared when they were out there "warming up" but once the games started they did pretty good. We tried to get some action shots of Mikayla playing, but every time she spotted us, she'd stop playing and come walking over. haha Never mind that her dad was on the other side of the court with a big video camera...she kept coming to us!

We had our Founder's Day celebration on the 7th. The weather was yucky, but we all did our best to enjoy ourselves, anyway. There was a parade, races and contests, and food booths, just like the 4th of July. The only thing missing was fireworks. The town didn't have any money to buy some..and the weather caused almost everyone else to wait for another day. We did manage to watch a few, though, that a few brave people managed to light in the wind and rain.

We've had so many weddings this summer...and funerals. :o( We lost 2 babies this summer. I'm not sure how, but it was so sad. I hate funerals, anyway, but it's 100 times harder when it's a child.

We've got one more wedding on the 25th. One of my cousins (who I used to babysit!?!) is getting married.

I start work in a week. Kids start school on the 28th. I can't decide how I feel about that. I miss the kids, but haven't been feeling all that great lately so kinda wish for more time.

Alexys and Lucione started volleyball practice yesterday. For this entire week, they have practice from 8AM to Noon and from 1PM to 4PM. I can't believe Lucione is in high school now! And my little Lindsey is starting junior high. Gosh, I feel old.

My back has been killing me for about 2 weeks now, I guess. I'll have a good day and then the pain gets bad again. These are the times I wish I lived in the "real world". We don't have a chiropractor here and I think I need one. On good days, like today, I'm able to sit for more than a few minutes before I get too stiff and sore. But there have been too many days where sitting, standing, even lying down, were too painful to do for very long.

I have so many pictures I've wanted to share, but am not up to it at the moment. Maybe another day.

Time With Dad

2006-07-24T14:49:00.000-08:00

I had the most excellent day today! I spent the afternoon giving my dad computer lessons. :o) He's had a computer since March but he doesn't know what to do with it. He can turn it on and play Freecell. He can log onto the internet and do a search. But that was it. He didn't even know how to turn up the volume!

He's such a good learner and so very cute! haha I had a hard time not giggling at how amazed he was at what he is now able to do. He may forget it all by tomorrow, but that's okay. At least he's trying and I told him I'll come up every day till he feels like he's learned enough.

He sent his first e-mail (to me!) and was so tickled about it. My step-mom is out of town so she has no idea that he's even trying. He sent her an e-mail at work so she'll be surprised when she comes back home. He was SO cute! He kept saying, "I want to do this right. Do I need a comma here?" hehehe

An hour and a half of explaining how to open and close windows, left and right clicking, even how to use the scroll wheel thingy on the mouse! Tomorrow we're going to review what he learned today and learn how to save Favorites in IE. haha I can't wait!

Birds, Nests, and Eggs

2006-07-20T15:39:00.000-08:00

Michael's job is eventually going to be installing sewer pipes at a part of town that still uses septic tanks. Before they can do that, though, they have to clear the brush to make room to dig. This has let to the discovery of nests and eggs.

The first nest they found, was so high up that they didn't see it until it was too late. One of them accidentally touched the nest and the eggs inside so it was abandoned by the bird. :o( They felt so bad about it.

A few days later, they spotted another nest. This one was lower to the ground, so was easy to see. Even I could see it with no problem, without even getting out of the truck! I did, though, because I was curious. Without touching, I was able to see 4 little eggs. They were light green and reminded me of Easter candy! I knew all birds couldn't lay eggs as big as chickens...but didn't know they came already dyed. hehehe

Michael and George were so excited about the 2nd nest. They purposely left the tree it was in and some surrounding bush so the bird would stay and feel safe enough to hatch her eggs. It worked. The bird even started to trust them and started to stay in her nest while they were working close by.

Their one mistake was to let the boss know. As soon as he was told, he grabbed a saw and cut down the tree! I was SO upset when Michael told me. The boss is my cousin and I wanted so much to give him a piece of my mind. Michael said that the nest was where they wouldn't reach it until well after the eggs had hatched...possibly not even until next spring or summer. There was no reason to cut down the tree. It was a senseless, very cruel thing to do and the next time I see my cousin, I will tell him how disappointed I am.

A few days later, Michael was driving toward the dump site to dump a load of brush they had cut. He noticed what looked like a bird in the road. It didn't move when he drove by and that seemed strange to him. He backed up and realized that it was still alive. Just like last time, he put his gloves on, picked it up, and put it in the grass along-side the road. He figures it must have been stunned by being bumped by a car or something. He stopped to check on it when he came back but the bird was gone. So at least we know he wasn't seriously injured.

God Works in Amazing Ways...

2006-07-13T20:28:00.000-08:00

Even through MySpace! After having a long day with way too much quiet time to think, I started to feel down. I was feeling sad and alone. Then I decided to check my pages. I have a MySpace page and received the following in a bulletin:

Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"

He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it"

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

Pass this on right now. This very moment, someone needs to know that God is watching over them. And, whatever they're going through, they'll be a better person in the end.

"Life is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once."

Independence Day

2006-07-07T14:06:00.000-08:00

Being a native village, I always found it odd how we make such a big deal out of Independce Day. Why would we celebrate when the whole reason the forefathers had land to claim was because they took it from natives? We don't look it at that way, though. The majority of our men, and some of our women, have grown up to serve in the military. We've lost some good men to war over the years and we are proud of each and every one of them. That's what we celebrate. The pride we have in our own to stand up for their country and give their lives so that those left behind can live happy and free.

When it comes to celebrating, we sure know how to throw a party! The entire town pulls together and we have a huge celebration that lasts all day long. At least a dozen booths are set up by people who sell food and toys. You can buy anything from a whoopie cushion to a shish-ka-bob to a deep-fried Snickers bar. There are races and contests for all ages. Here's Mykayla running in her race. You gotta love her curly hair! :o)

Here's Lucione waiting for them to say "GO!" so she can dive into her watermelon. She didn't place but she had a lot of fun trying and got a free watermelon out of the deal, too! One thing our town does, is give a dollar to everyone who enters a contest. Just for standing on the starting line, you get a dollar. Winners get ten, second place gets seven, and third place gets five dollars. I think that's pretty cool. To some of these kids, the one little dollar means a lot!

Here's Theodore in the orange shirt. This race is called the Duck Walk. Other races and contests included: a slow bike race (where the last person to cross the finish line was the winner), tug-of-war, the sand pit (where the littlest kids get to dig in the sand and whatever coins they find, they keep), the egg-in-spoon race (where you carry a raw egg in a plastic spoon...first one to cross the finish line with their egg still intact wins), the egg toss (play catch and get further apart after each toss...last one to break their egg wins), an apple peeling contest for the guys, a nail driving contest for the gals, and a three-legged race.

Here's Alexys in her three-legged race. Her friend's name is Hannah. They've entered as partners since they were old enough for the race and they win every year. I don't have any pictures of Lindsey in races because she got side-tracked by the water and spent her day swimming. She tries to blame it on the other kids saying, "They threw me in 7 times!" But I just told her, "Well, you must have enjoyed it because you stuck around and kept going back for more!" haha I'm glad she enjoyed herself. Normally she's pretty competetive so it was good for her to just hang out and have fun for a change.

Once all the contests are completed, we take a little break and then gather at the breakwater for a fireworks display. This years were really good. The VFD did an excellent job with thim this year (and I'm not just saying that 'cause the majority of them are family!). Everyone was pleased. Once the town fireworks were done, Michael and I followed our nephew John (Mykayla and Craig's dad) out to the other end of the island and he let us watch him light his own. There were a lot of people out there and we could see all of their fireworks as well. We had a lot of fun. So much, that we didn't stop till nearly 2AM! When we finally gave up, we cleaned up our area and stopped at the dump on the way back into town to get rid of the garbage. We pulled into our driveway at 2:10 AM. It was a long, exhausting, but totally fun day!

I can't wait till August 7th to do it all over again. :o)

My Saturday

2006-07-02T12:39:00.000-08:00

We went to Town yesterday. We brought the puppies for their 3rd vaccination. They are now fully vaccinated until next summer.

It was a gorgeous, warm, summer day. We did a little shopping and drove all over the island just enjoying the day and each other. It was so nice to have a change of scenery for a few hours. hehe

I don't know how many of you remember the posts I wrote about being a foster mother. I had my cousins kids for 5 months when they were 1 yr. old and 5 wks. old.

They live in Town now, and I hadn't seen them since December. Yesterday while shopping for groceries, I ran into my cousin and she had her kids with her. Lexi, the older of the two, crawled out of the cart and came to give me a big hug. When we left, she yelled "See you! Love you!" as we were crossing the parking lot. It was SO good to see them. Brady wouldn't stop smiling, but didn't say a whole lot. That's fine, though. I'm just glad to see that they looked happy and well. I wanted to take them home for the 4th of July but Carmen wasn't up to a visit and wouldn't let the kids come alone. :o(

That was my excitement for the day. Other than practicing my text message skills on my cell phone. hehe That was a lot of fun.

Today I think we're going to cut some firewood for the smoke house. Tomorrow is Michael's birthday. He's requested spaghetti and chocolate cake. Every year he tells me he doesn't want a party and every year I get pressured into having one. Nobody's said anything yet so hopefully, he'll have a quiet, peaceful birthday for a change.

That's it for now. You all take care and if I don't post again before then, have a happy and safe 4th of July!

It's Not About Me

2006-06-30T15:37:00.000-08:00

So I think I'm finally at a more positive place in my life. The situations that have been stressing me out are still there, I've just chosen not to stress anymore. They are beyond my control and turning gray or developing an ulcer will not rectify them, so I'm just letting them take their course.

Part of why I'm feeling better, is because I've quit thinking about myself. I've quit wondering what will happen to me when this is all said and done. I know God will take care of me and I'll be just fine. I may not know what's going to happen tomorrow, but I know who holds tomorrow!

I've recently done some things for others for no reason other than I wanted to. They mean a lot to me and I wanted to show them.

My mom received a free DVD player as part of some kind of free promotion. She doesn't have a lot of money right now so I knew she wouldn't be buying herself any DVD's any time soon so I ordered a couple of her favorite musicals from Amazon and had them shipped directly to her.

A friend of mine is always encouraging me to sing. I haven't performed in years and often find myself singing out loud when I'm home...alone. She tells me, "Oh, just open the windows and let people hear." But I'm too self-conscious for that. But I managed to surprise her when I bought a program that allowed me to record myself singing with my computer. I e-mailed the song to her and I think she really appreciated it. I purposely sent it without listening long enough to critique myself. I just made sure it got my voice (it took 3 tries to do it right! haha) and then attatched it to an e-mail. I know that if I had listened, I would have decided against sending it. I am my own worst critic and being as shy and self-conscious as I am, even if I had sang it perfectly (which I didn't, I realized once I listened to it in its entirety) I would have found a reason to not send it.

On the rare occassion I get out of the house and actually interact with people, I've made it a point to really interact. Normally I just wave or say a quick hello and keep moving...again, part of my insecurities. But this whole week, every time I was out of the house, if someone even smiled at me, I'd stop and say hello. If they were family or a friend, they got a hug from me. I asked how they were and listened to their answers.

Just by placing my focus on others and not myself, I'm beginning to feel better about this journey we are all on.

God on the Mountain

2006-06-24T18:32:00.000-08:00

I've been having a really hard time lately, trying to be positive. Trying to remember that I have a good life; a blessed life; a life with a purpose and direction.

Things in my family are all screwed up at the moment. I have no idea how things are going to turn out, but I know in my heart, that I have done all I possibly could.

The thing is, I've been letting all of these problems totally consume me. I haven't been able to blog because I don't want this blog to turn in to a "woe is me" type of thing that drives people away. I haven't been spending a lot of time outside of my house because I've been afraid to face people - the family that is feuding, the curious ones who always ask what's going on, just anybody. I haven't been able to sleep because I've been holding on to this stress and worry like my life depended on it.

But ya know what? It doesn't. My life is not defined by this situation. I've let it be, but it's time to let go. In all of this, I've forgotten what's most important: my relationship with my God, my faith in Him, and the fact that He's still here. The rest of the world can turn their back on me and it won't matter. I still have God.

I'm always so quick to thank God and give Him the praise for the good things that happen. It's true that all good comes from Him, but he doesn't desert me when things go bad.

I love listening to gospel music. One of my favorite songs is God on the Mountain. It's all about how God is always there for you.

The God on the moutain is still God in the valley.
When things go wrong, He'll make them right.
The God of the good times is still God in the bad times.
The God of the day is still God in the night.

I woke up singing that song today and I've been singing it all day long.

I Can't Think of a Title

2006-06-21T18:59:00.000-08:00

We haven't really been doing a whole lot lately. Well, I haven't, anyway. Michael's been working for about a week now. He "should" be working until at least November and then we'll see what happens. I want him to stay home this Winter but he's already hinted at returning to the other company. *sigh*
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That's partly why I keep thinking we need to move. It would be so nice to be some place where he can find work AND live with me. That's not too much to ask for, is it? I suppose I should be grateful for the time we have together...because there are families who go through more difficult separations due to military obligations and such.

I've mentioned moving to Michael a few times and he keeps pretending I'm kidding. He'll laugh it off and change the subject no matter how many times I bring it up. He's not ready to leave. I sometimes think I am but it's for all the wrong reasons.

Besides, as hard as things are right now, there are good things about living here, too. We're close to family. This island is BEAUTIFUL and I am in constant awe of my surroundings. We live a pretty calm life here. There is no crime. We don't have to lock our doors at night. There have been times we haven't even "closed" our door, even while being out all day long. You can't walk down the street or drive 2 blocks without someone smiling and waving at you. Everyone knows you by name. You're not just another face in the crowd here. People know you (which isn't always good).
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Michael's dad was sent to the hospital today. He was having chest pains and they were afraid it was his heart. They checked him out and it's not his heart. He has bronchitis. They are going to monitor him overnight, start him on anti-biotics, and he can come home tomorrow. I'm SO glad it wasn't anything more serious. The man never slows down and it scares me.
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We had Theodore and Lindsey overnight last weekend. They entertained each other so it wasn't so bad for me. We were going to let them walk the puppies with Michael. He put the leashes on the collars and was doing something at the back of the truck. By the time he turned around, the kids were long gone. They took off running. He didn't feel like trying to catch up so we just drove behind them in the truck. They ran an entire mile. I wish I had half their energy!
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There's really nothing more to say at the moment. I haven't been out of the house much because of the weather so haven't anything exciting to tell you about. Sorry!

Feeling Lost

2006-06-16T15:10:00.000-08:00

This is a view of my hometown. We were on the ferry on our way to Town last month when I took this photo.

I never intended to spend my entire life living here. I used to long for the day I'd get off what we affectionately call the Rock.

I had a change of heart once I married. I thought things would be better and for a long time they were.

Do you ever get the feeling you need to move on? Like you've been stagnant too long? Like you're running in place on a treadmill and can't find the off switch?

That's me lately. Things are happening here. Things that are deeply upsetting to me. Things that are tearing my family apart.

I want so much to fix what's wrong but it's not my place. I want so much to pick up and go, but that's not my decision to make, either. I'm tied up in knots not sure what our next step should be.

Feels Like Summer

2006-06-08T16:22:00.000-08:00

Last night while driving down a dirt road, we spotted something. At first we thought it was a rock, then a slight breeze came and it seemed to move. We thought maybe a piece of clothing because we were not the only vehicle on the road and an animal would have moved out of the way.

When we got closer, I realized it was a bird. I thought it was hurt because it wasn't moving its wings and every time it tried to walk, it would fall flat. I got worried because I thought for sure if we had left it there it would get run over by one of the other vehicles traveling the same road.

Normally I am not fond of birds. I enjoy watching them from a distance, but would never have one for a pet. I did that once...never again. Birds are one small step up from cats, if ya ask me.
Anyway, Michael put on his gloves and got out of the truck to get a closer look. Turns out it wasn't an injured bird. It was a chick. He probably fell out of his nest and was either stunned and disoriented, or a little banged up. He knelt down and stroked his head. He didn't run away so he picked him up. After inspecting and deciding he wasn't seriously hurt, he put him under the bushes at the road side. Hopefully, he stayed there until he was found by his mother. I hate to think of what would have happened had Michael not helped him out.

We got well into the 70's today for the first time this year. It's supposed to be warmer tomorrow and the next day. I think I'm going to need to go on a picnic!

With all of this great weather and free time on our hands, we've been spending a lot of time outdoors. Some of it driving, some of it walking, basically just doing whatever will keep us out of the house.

The puppies are doing well. They're growing and are as active as ever. The only time Copper stops moving is to sleep. Oh, and when its time to go down stairs.

We stood there for what felt like forever giving gentle tugs on the lease. He never did budge so we ended up having to pick him up and carry him down the stairs. I guess that's good, though. At least for now we won't have to worry about him making a run for it when the door is left open.

Smokin'

2006-06-04T14:06:00.000-08:00

Smoking...it's something I didn't try until after I married.

It had been 2 years since the last time we smoked but we started again yesterday.

We couldn't help it. The cravings were too strong.

Two years is a long time between smokes, ya know.

We figured we had waited long enough. Now was as good a time to start as any.

So we did it. We quit fightin the urge.

We started the smokehouse yesterday and our first batch of fish should be done tonight!

Catching Up

2006-06-01T21:56:00.000-08:00

Lindsey's on her way so I have to do this quick...

I'm sorry I haven't updated lately. May is a very busy month for me with school ending and all of the graduations, etc. With Michael being home and not working, I don't spend a lot of time on the computer. Not until late evening when I'm too lazy to type! :o)

Not a whole lot to update on, though. Now that things have settled down its starting to feel like summer vacation. Even the rain feels like summer. It's actually falling straight down rather than sideways! It' s a warm rain, too.

The puppies are growing. They are very playful but when left alone, they tend to play rough with each other. Copper is still afraid to go down stairs.

My girls are trying softball for the first time. They played a couple games in Town last weekend but lost. They're having fun, though, and that's what counts! I'm so glad that they are not afraid to try new things.

I hear Lindsey...gotta go!

Summertime and the Livin' is Easy

2006-05-25T10:38:00.000-08:00

I hope the fish are jumpin' because my dad took Michael out fishing today. It's perfect fishing weather; no wind and a light, misty rain. Not so perfect for walking home from work, though. I'm drenched.

I don't mind a bit, though. I just finished up my last work day, the principal gave me rave reviews and my prospects for next year look good (no more science, YAY!). My pocket is holding my paycheck and even with my bum ankle, there was a spring in my step. :o)

I actually love rain at this time of year. The flowers seem more fragrant and the bugs hide away. I was almost disappointed to find myself arriving at home so quickly. Had I not been limping, I would have liked to keep right on walking.

So anyway, about my evaluation. The principal gave me the highest marks possible in EVERY. SINGLE. CATEGORY! Talk about a boost to the ego! He also said that my time in science class is wasted. Not because I didn't do any good, but because I could be doing so much more. So next year, if I have a lot of holes in my schedule again, rather than playing second fiddle to the science teacher (which I was SO not looking forward to - he taught my Lindsey this year and I am not impressed with him, even slightly, in any way shape or form and I think the district was crazy to keep him on staff but I am somewhat relieved to know he won't be in a regular classroom.), I'm going to be a tutor working one-on-one or in small groups. I love that! I'd do that all day if they'd let me. My technology duties will be increasing, also. Not so much that I'm in charge of the district, but he is going to recommend that I be in charge of my building. We're starting new programs and his reasoning is, if I'm the only one who knows how to run them, they can't let me go no matter how many cuts they need to take. Nice to know he wants me to stick around! It could also mean another small paycheck for me this summer when the new tech person arrives from Florida.

Lucione, Lindsey, and Alexys are on the girls softball team. Its the inaugural year and they are having a blast. Tomorrow they travel to a neighboring community for their first game. I won't be going because I have to take my puppies to the vet on Saturday. Can't afford to be over there all weekend until Michael starts working full-time.

I have no idea what I am going to be doing this summer. I'm not planning to travel. I'm hoping to get back to regular posting. I'm looking forward to relaxing, maybe do some reading. For now, though, I've got to find some lunch. Have a great day! :o)

MY Mother's Day

2006-05-21T19:48:00.000-08:00

I already told you about our picnic at the beach. But what I didn't mention, was the fact that I received gifts for Mother's Day.

When we got back, I was surprised to find 2 gift bags on my living room floor. I read the cards and was even more surprised. One was from my in-laws, the other from my nieces. Mother's Day cards...for me? I was taken off-guard but really do appreciate the fact that they thought about me. I know that my mother-in-law was behind both of them and that made it all the more special. I received these 2 cards and 2 new blouses. Oh, and $20.

You'll have to click the cards to read the writing.
This is the inside of the card. My mother-in-law wrote a very nice, and surprising message. I was very touched because she doesn't always verbalize her feelings. She's never quite said "thank you" before...so this was a nice surprise.
My father-in-law, on the other hand...always tells me how much he loves me. He calls me "Babe" like I'm one of his daughters and has made me feel like one of his own from day 1.

This is the card I received from my nieces.

My Weekend (Most of it) In Pictures

2006-05-15T22:27:00.000-08:00

I have not been home much at all lately. If you normally correspond with me via computer, you'd have noticed. Michael and I spent the entire weekend together being outdoors as much as we could. I didn't even mind that gas is now over $3.11 a gallon...I'd have paid twice that to have the weekend we had.

On Friday we had an early supper and jumped in the truck. We were out from about 5:00 till well after 10PM. We drove, walked, drove, and walked some more. Neither of us cared what time it was or what we were missing on TV...it was just nice to be outdoors.

Saturday was much of the same. Outdoors all day long. We were exercising the puppies for a bit and I started taking pictures. My dad loves being outdoors as much as I do...especially on the water. I don't know why I was so surprised to realize that the boat I was trying to focus on was my dads! I'm not sure who he has with him, but that's him standing. I just missed his wave.

We visited different lakes around the island and saw a beaver in almost every one. Here's one with a branch for his dam.

We were outdoors all day and I couldn't go home without taking the opportunity to take some photos of the sunset.

Michael is always trying to take pictures of the moon. We either don't have the right camera or don't know how to use this one properly...but he never gives up trying. Looks pretty good this time, though.

Before finally going home, we showed our neice Marie how to steam oysters so she could try them for the first time. She really enjoyed them. She didn't even allow them time to cool before she started popping them in her mouth!

One of my favorite summer activities is going to the beach. Last summer I didn't go once. Michael was gone for most of the summer and its no fun going alone. Sunday we spent the entire day on a picnic.

We roasted hotdogs and marshmallows and just sat and visited for hours. The weather was great and the beach was peaceful and calm. This is the beginning of what would become, hopefully, just our first beach fire of the year.

Copper and Bianca enjoyed their first outing to the beach. I don't think they understood why we wouldn't let them near the water, but they both had a blast in the sand!

I think Bianca tired herself out.

Mother's Day...Just Another Day

2006-05-08T12:29:00.000-08:00

Longing for the Sun

I was 12 years old when you said goodbye
With no explanation why
You got in your car and drove away
All I could do was cry
You said you loved me, you loved my dad
But you couldn’t stick around
What does that mean? I’m confused
It must feel this way to drown
Trying so hard to get some air
Some stable ground to stand on
Fight through the waves of anger and pain
I still can’t believe you’re gone
Had you died, I could have learned
To accept being left behind
But you just left and I don’t know why
I feel I’m losing my mind
Do you even realize what you’ve left behind?
What we go through each day?
My dad’s depressed, my sister’s mad
I believe I’ve lost my way
There were no bitter words exchanged
Not even an angry glance
No clue that you would pack your things
And run at your first chance
How long were you unhappy?
What made you want to leave?
You said you loved us but still can’t stay
I don’t know what to believe
I’m afraid that I will always hurt
I’ll always be in pain
You’re gone and you can’t tell me why
Am I the one to blame?
I’m trying so hard to come to terms
With what you’ve done to me
I’m longing for the day I wake
And finally feel set free
Set free from the anger, guilt and shame
Of forcing you to run
Free from clouds of self-doubt and blame
Finally free to feel the sun

I wrote this when I was a freshman in high school. I was 14 and confused about my parents’ divorce.

I came home from school after just starting the 7th grade. My mom was on the living room floor crying. She had the cassette tapes out on the floor separated into piles. I asked her what she was doing. She told me she was sorting tapes because she was going to be packing. She was leaving the next day. When I asked how long she’d be gone, she said, “Forever, I’m leaving your dad.” My sister started yelling at her and that made me cry. She couldn’t tell us why. She just kept saying, “I love you two, and I love your dad, but I can’t stay here. I need to ‘find myself’.” Whatever that means.

Every year around this time, I get upset. Knowing Mother’s Day is coming stirs up all the feelings I tried so hard to suppress when I was younger. I buy her gifts, call her up and tell her I love her, but in the back of my mind, I have flashbacks of when she left.

I remember my dad crying in the dark. I remember him not being able to eat because of the ulcer he developed not long after she left. I remember him drinking in an attempt to drown his pain.

I remember my sister getting mad at the world. She lost her smile. She forgot how to be happy. She forgot how to be a family. Her grades stayed high, but everything else went down hill. The living room became my bedroom because she claimed she couldn’t stand the sight of me. I eventually came to accept her behavior and it stopped hurting. She eventually outgrew her bitterness and we became sisters and friends once again.

I remember myself going to school trying to pretend everything was okay. I remember standing on a stool to do laundry because, without one, I couldn’t reach the clothes at the bottom of the washer. I remember the frustration of learning to cook rice because if I didn’t cook, I didn’t eat and neither did my sister. Now that I’m grown, I don’t cook rice all that often. I don’t even cook unless I have to.

Being an adult, it really bothers me that this still hurts. How is it she was able to move on and act like nothings happened while the rest of us suffered? How do I know? Because she was gone less than a year before she became engaged. Because she has been home 3 times in the 22 years she has been away. Because she doesn’t take the time to ask me how I’m doing.

I think I finally understand why it is that I bend over backwards to help Space Cadet with her children even though I sometimes resent her irresponsibility. I don’t ever want her daughters to experience anything like what I did. I can’t keep Space Cadet’s marriage together should it fall apart, but I can make sure those girls feel loved and accepted each and every day of their lives. I can make sure that they know that, no matter what, someone cares. They matter to someone. They are important to someone.

I’ll never know why my mom left. I’ll never understand what her reasons are. Maybe I’m not supposed to. I finally admitted to someone else just the other night, that I tend to get withdrawn and somewhat depressed every Mother’s Day. Not because I don’t have a mother. Not because I hate my mother, but because I love her. She hurt me like nobody else has been able to…but I love her. She ends every conversation we have (which, sadly, are few and far between lately) with the same phrase I used to say to her when I was about 3 years old. Maybe she still thinks of me that way. Maybe she’s trying to make me think of life when I was that young. Maybe she wants me to remember when we were still a family; still happy. Who knows. All I know is I’m not very fond of Mother’s Day.

Lazy Sunday

2006-05-07T15:52:00.000-08:00

I didn't do anything productive today. Not a thing. I didn't even go to church. I haven't been sleeping well lately. I was up early...I had to get up at 7 to make sure the hot water heater was on so I could get Lindsey up by 8 to get her ready to go help with her softball fundraiser this morning at 9:30.

After she left, I wandered around the internet for a bit. Looking at sites of friends and family.

We decided around Noon to take the puppies out to the runway for a walk. On the way out there it started raining. We drove around out there until the rain stopped and tried to walk them. Bianca did good...but had me at a fast walk the entire time. Copper got stubborn and wouldn't walk. By the time he felt like walking, Bianca and I had already turned around and were headed back to the truck.

I came home and was pleasantly surprised with a wonderful aroma coming out of the kitchen. Michael snuck a roast into the oven before we left so I don't even have to cook today!

It was nice to be able to do absolutely nothing that required any thought. I'm getting burned out with work, as I do every year, so it was just enough to recarge me for the last (Fizzy, close your eyes) 2 and a half weeks of the school year.

(You can open your eyes again, Fizz)

Here's a quick little Craig story for y'all.

He had to write his very first state report a couple weeks ago. He's only in 2nd grade so the entire class did Alaska. His report that hangs on the wall is about 3 sentences long. But when you ask him what he knows about Alaska, it usually goes something like this:

Well, lets see...Alaska is the 49th state. It's been a state since 1959 and used to belong to Russia. If you cut Alaska in half, it will still be the biggest state. It's even bigger than Texas! The Big Dipper is on the flag and the North Star, too....

He'll go on and on if you don't interrupt or show you're not interested. Anyway, the other day in the library he told me he got an A+ on his report. I praised him and gave him a high five and asked what his report was on. He rattled off all the facts he could remember and when he got to the year of Alaska's statehood, I said, "Ya know...Uncle Mike was born that year."

To which he replied, "What?! He was?!" and pretended to faint!

Untitled (Because I Can't Think of One)

2006-05-04T09:52:00.000-08:00

I don’t have an excuse for not writing this time. Mainly, I guess, I just haven’t been making the time. When I do find time to sit at the computer, I end up doing other things (like chatting or trying not to smile at the webcam).

There’s been a lot going on, but nothing worth mentioning. Perhaps that’s another reason I haven’t written. I don’t do enough interesting things to write about.

I have 2 and a half weeks left in this school year. I have two more weeks of science and computer classes. I just found out today that, as a Specials teacher, I am partly in charge of planning the end of the year Field Day for the kids. That should have been started long ago, so hopefully I won’t need to be too involved in that. I would rather be free to wander around watching and taking pictures.

We’re going to be very busy here at school till the end of the year. We’ve got Headstart Orientation on Monday. The little ones come to tour the school and have lunch in the cafeteria. The junior high and high school spring concert is on the 9th. The spring concert for the elementary is on the 16th. The 19th is my last day teaching computers and science. That is also the day of high school graduation. 8th grade promotes on the 22nd. The kids’ last day is the 24th and they’ll be released at Noon. On the 25th is an all-district breakfast and Teacher Check-Out day. Somewhere in there, I’ll also be doing the final round of testing in both reading and math.

Then it will be about 13 weeks of keeping Akeskileut up as late as I can, trying to entertain any children who happen to stop by, and hopefully live a life of leisure all summer. (

But for now, I need to get back to work.

Today is My Friday...

2006-04-27T08:26:00.000-08:00

…and boy, am I glad!

This has been a tough week for me. It wasn’t until last night I realized how much work was affecting the rest of my life.

A couple weeks ago, some boys were sent to the office. I happened to be in there talking with Space Cadet about something. She told the boys, “Go sit in the principal’s office and do not talk.”

We didn’t know what they did to earn this little trip to the office and we didn’t ask. The boys (a couple of 6th graders, already too big for their britches) thought it was funny and were giggling and talking. Space Cadet asked them again, “Please stop talking. There’s no talking when you’re sent to the office.”

That just made them giggle more. I finally peeked in and realized that one of them didn’t have a chair. So I said, “Have a seat on the floor facing away from (the other boy).”

I finished my conversation with Space Cadet and headed out of the office to go do my recess duty. While exiting, I heard, “Boys! There IS no talking!”

She didn’t yell extremely loud, but was stern enough that the boys should have known she meant business.

I thought that was the end of it, at least as far as I was concerned.

About a day or 2 later, Space Cadet called my extension and said, “(The Superintendent’s Secretary – Space Cadet’s older sister) just called and said that there’s a letter from a parent saying I was yelling at her son and nephew and you threatened to expel them.”

I was so shocked. I said, “I remember them being in the office, but where do they get ‘Listen to me or you’ll be expelled’ from ‘Sit down and turn your back’?”

She said she was wondering the same thing. We couldn’t say anything because the letter was to the superintendent…we weren’t sent a copy. Talking about a letter we never did receive could get our older sister in trouble for breaking confidentiality. We decided to wait to see if anything happened, or if we were approached by anyone asking for our side of the story.

Later that afternoon, our older sister faxed a copy of the letter to Space Cadet. The letter was addressed to the principal, but courtesy copies were sent to the superintendent and the boys’ classroom teacher. I read the letter and could not believe it. It was full of accusations. According to the letter, the boys were not given a chance to explain what happened and were punished too harshly. They are the victims because they are children and the adults should know better.

According to the letter, they were sent to the office for calling another student names and laughing at her. There’s supposedly a witness who says the boys didn’t call anybody names and the girl they made cry over-reacted.

According to the letter, Space Cadet and I were way out of line by even speaking to them. They made it sound like Space Cadet was screaming at them (she wasn’t) and I was dropping threats all over the place (what a laugh).

The letter angered both of us, but we were still helpless. We felt couldn’t let anyone know we had read it without getting Older Sister in trouble. It was a Friday…we decided to wait out the weekend and see what happened come Monday.

Late Friday afternoon, the classroom teacher approached Space Cadet about the letter. That gave Space Cadet a reason to approach the principal. She said, “A teacher approached me about a letter they received from a parent….”

He told her not to worry about it…that everything in the letter was taken out of context and Space Cadet and I had nothing to do with why the boys were in the office.

Okay, that’s good to know. At least our boss didn’t believe the letter. But that still didn’t give me a chance to clear my own name because the teacher didn’t approach me. Space Cadet told me not to worry…that she probably just figured it was all a misunderstanding so didn’t see the need to approach me about it.

I tried not to think about it all weekend but there was a basketball tournament going on so I kept running into the mother who wrote the letter. I tried to smile like I always do…not letting on that I knew what she had done. She’d just snap her eyes and look away or give me an icy glare.

When I came to work on Monday, I kept waiting for the principal to call me into his office for a visit. He still hasn’t. I tried to convince myself that that was a good thing. It means he trusts me…doesn’t believe I would threaten a kid. (Believe me, if I thought I had the power to expel, some kids would have been gone long ago!)

But when I went to Science on Tuesday, everything changed. We have 6th grade on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings. I heard the teacher telling the other science teacher – while I was walking by – to “remember the letter. Don’t forget about the letter.”

The science teacher sent me out of the classroom to do other things the entire period. Not just Tuesday, but the following day, as well. That bothers me because it shows me that the classroom teacher, even after working together for 13 years, actually believes I could treat students so poorly. Not only does she believe the letter, but she’s told others about it.

So now I’m left wondering how many people have read the letter and now think differently of me because of some ridiculously false accusations made by an angry parent. As of yet, nobody has approached me so I can’t speak up. I can’t defend myself. I have to pretend like I don’t know about it. But being treated differently hurts.

I didn’t realize how much until Michael asked me last night what he did to make me mad. I explained what’s been going on at work (he knew about the letter but I didn’t tell him about the classroom teacher) and assured him that if I was mad or withdrawn, it was not because of him but because of work.

I’m so glad it’s the end of the year. I’m also glad I’m not working tomorrow. I’m hoping I’ll feel better after a 3 day weekend. I have no delusions about “everyone” liking me. But when accusations are made, I would at least like the chance to defend myself, or explain my actions. I hate this.

Major Catch-Up With Pictures!

2006-04-24T21:52:00.000-08:00

My internet at home has been fixed for a couple days but I was busy all weekend with basketball. We had some visiting teams from Kake. The girls lost all their games and the boys won all of theirs. It was still a good experience for all involved.

I'm going to attempt to catch you up on all that went on since my last post.

BIRTHDAY PARTY

First, was Lucione's birthday. She turned 14 on the 14th. Here she is watching her big sister Marie bring her birthday cake to her.

Always the ham...she had to pose with every single gift she received.

THE PUPPIES

We take the puppies out to the old runway so they can exercise. There's less traffic, and no big dogs to scare them. Here's Bianca eyeing the camera. I love how fluffy she is!

Copper takes some coaxing, but he seems to enjoy his time outdoors, too. He stays right by you, though, so you have to be really careful when you walk. It's easy to step on him or cause him to tumble over with your foot when he gets too close.

EASTER

The kids really enjoyed their egg hunt after dinner. So much so, that they begged us to hide their eggs over and over again. Here's Mikayla searching my truck for eggs. Don't pay any attention to the dust.

Mikayla and Craig were very competetive at first. Once they realized how much fun it was to find their eggs, they started helping each other. The eggs had initials on them and they were only allowed to fill their baskets with eggs that had their own initials on them. Sometimes they had to look really hard to see who's egg they found. :o)

They got cold but weren't ready to quit so we had to move the hunt inside.

EAGLES

When we weren't over-eating at my in-laws house, we were out enjoying the weather as much as we could. We've seen a lot of different animals, but unfortunately, the only time we had a camera was the day we went to the dump! The good news is, I spotted some gorgeous eagles perched in the trees.

Even better was the one who came waltzing right up to us. I had never been so close to an eagle. It took my breath away...the size...the beauty. It was awesome.

So there you have it. Most of my last 2 weeks or so in pictures.

I've Been Cut Off :o(

2006-04-20T10:33:00.000-08:00

My internet at home is not working. It won’t be fixed for at least another 24 hours. *sigh* I never realize how much I use the internet until I can’t. I use it to keep an eye on my bank balance, read newspapers from other cities and states, play games (hehe), and all sorts of things. I’m not the only one who misses it, either. My niece was bored out of her mind when she came to visit me and couldn’t check her e-mail. Haha She had to play with my puppies, instead.

I have one more reading test to give today before I move on to math next week. I’ll be so happy when it’s all complete. I’ll be even gladder when this school year is over. This week has been especially stressful for me, for reasons I don’t care to get into at the moment. Summer break sounds so good right now.

So does a nice, relaxing, stress-free weekend. I was supposed to chaperone a dance on Friday, but it’s been cancelled so I can go to bed as early as I want (even though I probably won’t). I’ve been really tired lately. I actually took a nap yesterday. It was short, but I don’t take naps. For some reason yesterday, I just could not keep my eyes open.

Our weather has been crazy this week. We actually had snow the other day; HUGE flakes and an almost complete white-out. It didn’t stick, thank goodness, but it has snowed a few times since. I hope this is not a sign we’re in for a rainy summer.

I’ve got to prepare for my next reading test. Have a good day!

I Hope You Had a Wonderful Easter!

2006-04-17T09:17:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a safe, enjoyable Easter weekend! My weekend was busy doing a lot of not-so-important things. Except Sunday…that was church and eating then more church and more eating. I thought I was done eating until I heard my nephew Ross is coming in today and he’s got a huge prime rib dinner planned for the family tonight. Oh well, it will be nice to see him. He hasn’t been home since last August.

We only have 3 really young (actually 2…but the third one pouted when he thought he was being excluded) kids in our family. We had an Easter egg hunt for them yesterday after dinner. They were just plastic eggs…empty plastic eggs, at that, but they had a blast.

We hid them outside and once they found them all, begged to start all over again. They had 3 hunts outside before they got cold. Then we moved inside and they had at least 3 more. I have pictures, but I’m at work.

If I can get on my computer later, I’ll post pictures. Lucione has been doing her homework at my house. That means I don’t get the computer until she’s done and with the loads of work she’s been having, that hasn’t been till after 6PM. By then I’ve had supper and am ready to do other things. That’s why I haven’t been posting very often. I can’t ever get on my computer at home!

Here at work I’ve started testing again. A whole month early, but that’s how the principal wants it. He said he wants to allow time for students to take it again if he thinks they need it. The kids aren’t very happy with me. They just took their big benchmark exams not too long ago.

We’re down to 5 and ½ weeks until summer vacation. I can’t believe how fast time is passing. I’m so ready for the break, though.

Michael is still hinting at going back to work in California if/when they call him back. Personally, I’m tired of this company. Not just because of all the traveling Michael does, either. They promised him year-round employment. They said if they finish a project somewhere, they’ll move on to the next so they’d always be working. They haven’t worked since January. They were told that a total of 70 people throughout the company were laid off. One of the bosses let it slip that a guy who had been hired AFTER Michael and Rick was re-hired once Michael and Rick returned back to Alaska. They were told they could return by March…then April. Then they get called and told they have a month-long job here on the island. They were to be working all through April until the first part of May. They worked a total of 7 days and were told they were done. I’m getting tired of broken promises…empty bank accounts…a restless husband. I keep telling him he needs to find work here at home. Yet when you ask him when he’s going back to work, he’ll say, “They’re supposed to let me know in May.” Sometimes he’s loyal to a fault. *sigh*

I’ve got 2nd grade now…I need to give them my undivided attention during their test.

Meet the Puppies

2006-04-11T21:04:00.000-08:00

I was expecting to have at least a week with Bianca before we got our 2nd puppy, but yesterday afternoon, the other puppy was brought to us. I was extremely nervous because it normally takes me a while to warm up to animals.

With Bianca, it was different. I'm not sure why. I liked her right off the bat and was not afraid to pick her up and hold her.

I'm still trying to get used to the 2nd puppy, mainly because he is so small. He's half the size of Bianca. I hope that he wasn't given to us too soon. He is cute, though. So here they are...

Meet Bianca and Copper

I haven't had time to take better pictures of them, but I will soon. Bianca is facing the camera. This is the first time they saw each other. She was afraid and backed herself into a corner. Now they play with each other and she acts protective over him. They're very cute and I think, in time, I'll get used to the both of them.

Since You Asked...

2006-04-10T09:33:00.000-08:00

An ooligan, (also called smelt, eulachon, oolichan, hooligan, or candlefish) is a small, silver fish the size of herring (approximately 6 to 10 inches long). Almost 20 percent of their weight is oil.

They’ve received the nickname, candlefish, because they are so full of oil that when dried, the ooligan is able to be stood upright and lit. It will then burn from end to end like a candle.

Ooligan grease is the oil of an ooligan but is called grease because at cool temperatures, it is a solid with the color and consistency of butter. To make ooligan grease, ooligan are heaped in piles (and depending on who is making it and where…buried, covered with evergreen branches, or stored in wooden boxes) for a few days to break down the flesh and release the oil. The ooligan are then boiled and the grease skimmed off. Ooligan grease is regularly used to accent the flavor of other foods. It may be served over dried salmon, halibut, berries, or potatoes. I also like to add it to clam chowder and boiled fish (basically a fish soup with a thin broth).

************************

My puppy is 6 weeks old. She is a mix of, I think, 2 types of Terrier. I know for a fact that the mother is a Lhasa Apso. The father, according to my niece, is also a type of Terrier, but she doesn’t know what kind. The father belongs to my nephew and he’s away in the Merchant Marines so I can’t ask him. All I know is that she will stay fairly small.

We have chosen the name Bianca for her. Any guess as to where I got her name? (Akeskileut, zip your lips! hehe)

Space Cadet brought her to us when she returned from Town on Saturday evening. She’s doing well with us so far. We took a trip to Town on Sunday and she did extremely well in the truck. She has already attached herself to me and follows me everywhere. She’s getting more and more active as she gets to know her new surroundings more so I have to be careful not to step on her. She’s let us know that she does not like being locked in the kitchen. We put a baby gate in the doorway so that she stays on the tile while she’s home alone…easier to clean-up after her that way. She’s a pro at howling, let me tell ya. I felt bad, but couldn’t pick her up because her fluffy fur gets all over me and I didn’t want to look like I was the one shedding when I got to work.

I’ve enjoyed having her and am not really looking forward to getting a second, but we’ll see what happens. Michael’s already committed to taking him and promises that he’s cute and will also be a small, indoor dog. If nothing else, we’ll have His and Hers dogs. Haha

*If you’ve read this and there is no picture, come back later…I’m at work and will post a picture of her once I return back home.

I Got Up Early For Nothing

2006-04-08T08:36:00.000-08:00

Yesterday when Akeskileut asked what I had planned for my weekend, I said, "Michael has to work tomorrow so it will be my lazy day."

Then Michael came home.

He said he didn't have to work and if I wanted to go to Town to pick up my puppy, we could. I've been patiently waiting since she was born so, of course, I agreed. I had to visit the bank, anyway. I've got a tax refund to deposit!

I was all excited about it and barely even remember what happened at the celebration thing last night (although the girls did see us there, so that's good) because I couldn't concentrate.

Michael woke me up at 6:30 and as soon as my eyes opened I felt as if I had over-slept. I asked him why he woke me so late and he said I had plenty of time because the ferry leaves at 8:00.

At 7:30 we went to the ferry terminal and it was gone. :o( For some reason I still do not know, it left at 6:45 today. It's making another trip at 5:00PM but will only be over there for half an hour so we'll either have to spend the night or wait till tomorrow to go over.

I got up early for nothing. So much for my lazy day. *sigh*

*****************

Oh, about yesterdays post. I was venting. Space Cadet does silly things like this all the time. I don't help her out with money, but her parents do. Now that her oldest daughter is an adult, she helps, too.

What I resent is the fact that she knows I will always be there for her girls. She doesn't think twice about skipping out on holidays or other special days because she knows the girls will be taken care of.

She knows that when she's broke and can't feed her girls, I will. She knows that if she doesn't slow down to help her kids with homework, I will. She knows that if she feels like leaving town for a day or two (sometimes longer) she doesn't have to worry about her girls because when she's not here to take care of them, I will.

It's not unusual for me to have one or both of her girls for days at a time. Not once, in the almost 14 years I have been a part of this family, has she offered to help pay for the food I feed them. It has never crossed her mind to send them here with as little as a gallon of milk when they arrive for an extended stay.

She takes it for granted that I will be here and sometimes it just...irks me. But as mad as I get at her, I can't say no to the girls. They're children.

Her girls don't ask for much. I'm always talking to them about the value of a dollar. They are provided for at my house. I do not spoil them. When I feel like giving them something extra, I let them help me cook dinner or ask them to do a simple household chore. Then they feel as if they've earned what I've given them. They realize that their mother never has money for them. They've learned to accept it. That's the saddest part of all. I can't even fathom what must go through their heads when they hear their mother say, "I'm broke," and then have to stand by and watch her leave for an over-night stay in Town.

**************

Connie, you asked about my clam chowder. I actually use two pots to cook it because I start the potatoes, carrots, onions, and celery in one pot. Once the vegetables are tender, I use the 2nd pot to make a roux and slowly add Half and Half until it's well combined and smooth. Then I add it to the vegetables. The last thing I add is the clams. Once they're heated, it's time to eat! Sounds very similar to yours except that I add a couple tablespoons of ooligan grease to mine while it cooks.

**************

I guess now that I'm not going to pick up my puppy, I can go to our clinic dedication. Hopefully the rain will hold off until after the pole is raised. I hope you all have a good weekend.

When Will You Ever Learn?

2006-04-07T15:48:00.000-08:00

Space Cadet strikes again!

She complained all week long about being broke. She had to pay her rent because they were threatening to evict her. She can't throw Lucione a birthday party with her friends because she had to pay rent. On and on and on about how broke she is.

The truth is, she's always broke.

She complains about it every single month and I'm tired of hearing it. She comes to the family for help every month and I'm tired of helping. She digs herself deeper in debt everyday and I'm tired of feeling sorry for her kids. I'm just tired of the whole deal.

We JUST HAD A DISCUSSION YESTERDAY about how we would have a family dinner for Lucione on her birthday (she turns 14 on Friday the 14th) because a big party or dance with all of her friends just wasn't in the budget. She told Lucione and she was okay with that.

So today after lunch she called me into her office. She showed me a program from a celebration happening tonight. She said, "I won't be able to go. Can you go in my place?"

I asked her where she was going. She wouldn't tell me. I said, "This is probably important to the girls. Why can't you go?"

"I'm going to Town."

So I ask, "Why are you going to Town?"

"Can you go to this tonight?"

Again I ask, "Why are you going to Town?"

"Ron's paying my way."

"That's not what I asked...WHY are you going to Town?"

"Marie gave me $50 to shop for Lucione's birthday. I told Lucione I'd send her over on payday since I can't give her a big party."

I just turned and walked out of the office.

I will probably go to the celebration thing tonight because Michael knows about it and will want to be there for the girls but I sort of resent the fact that, once again, Space Cadet is running off and expecting me to pick up the pieces.

As if that wasn't bad enough, she's using Lucione's birthday as an excuse to go and visit her friend Ron...overnight...with no money. How can you shop for a birthday with $50? Things are expensive here. $50 will not go far. Lucione was happy with a small family celebration, now Space Cadet has promised her a trip to Town on her next payday. That will put her behind on rent again. It's all a vicious cycle that Space Cadet created all on her own and doesn't seem to be capable of breaking.

The only reason she's going over is because my in-laws and oldest sister-in-law are in Seattle for a potlatch and Space Cadet is feeling left out. She's been whining and moping all week and Ron got tired of it and told her to come over.

Nevermind that your daughters are being honored for their recent sportsmanship award. Nevermind that you have a choir concert in 2 days and you'll be missing dress rehearsal. Nevermind the fact that you HAVE NO MONEY and are always complaining you are broke.

Go.

Have fun.

Just don't expect me to feel sorry for you when you can't make ends meet next week. Payday is a long 3 and a half weeks away and the check will mean nothing because you've already promised it to others.

Oops!

2006-04-06T08:32:00.000-08:00

I swear I start each day thinking, “I need to make an entry to my blog today.” But once I’m up and ready to start my day, I don’t do it.

This week at school we’re busy with tests. The students are taking their state benchmark exams and the teacher’s aides are taking a test to prove they are highly qualified. It’s the teacher’s aides who are keeping me busy.

I’ve been trying to help them cram so that they can pass at least one of the three sections on the test. They’re not very confident they can pass any part of it, but we’ll keep going till they’ve passed them all. They have until June 30th to pass in order to assure them of a job next school year. It all stems from the No Child Left Behind Act.

The weather for the past few weeks has been absolutely gorgeous. We’ve warmed up quite a bit, even hitting 50 degrees a couple days in a row this week. As I walked to work this morning it was cloudy and sprinkled for a few minutes, but was still a nice walk.

The only complaint I had was the neighbor’s dog wouldn’t stop following me. The more I asked him to go home, the closer he followed. They need to put him on a leash. He drags trash all over the place and even swiped one of Michael’s shoes he left on the porch. Nevermind that Michael shouldn’t have left his shoes on the porch, the dog needs to be tied up.

We have about 6 and a half weeks left before Summer Vacation. That is unreal. I cannot believe how fast this year flew by! Every year at this time I find myself wondering what it would be like to not work the following year. “What if I stayed home?” “What if I got a job somewhere else?” “What if….”

Then August comes along, I get a call asking if I want to work and I always say yes.

I’m out of time. Space Cadet is pouting because she’s not required to take the exam the teacher’s aides are taking. Mr. Principal is tired of hearing her whine about it so I have to test her today. *sigh*

Finally!

2006-04-03T08:53:00.000-08:00

After a week off for Spring Break, I got sick. So I ended up with a two week break, instead. By Wednesday, I thought I was okay but then got worse Wednesday night. I ended up dehydrated and everything, so it wasn’t fun.

But I’m back at work now and other than a million questions from everyone, it’s like I never left.

I can’t even remember what I posted about last (I’m at work and using Word to type so can’t read my blog.).

Spring Break was nice. The girls played in a tournament. The “End-of-the-Season Tournament”, thank goodness. I love watching them play, but their season always drags on forever. I know they’re trying to keep the kids busy, but I think our town needs to figure out some other sports for the kids to play.

Anyway, the girls are on the same team. They lost their first game but continued on because it was double-elimination. They won their second game. They lost their 3rd game and according to the bracket, should have received 3rd place because the winner of their game went on to championship. But somehow they had to play a team they already eliminated and lost so they got 4th. That made no sense, and they should have won, but their team got the Sportsmanship award. I won’t even go into the bad refs and how lopsided the calls were (the girls’ team had 17 fouls and the other team had 5…and it was the girls’ team getting knocked all over the place).

The week after Spring Break is a week I would like to forget. I had major stomach problems. I won’t go into details because, trust me, you don’t wanna know. Hehe

My nephew Theodore was over from Town for his Spring Break and came to visit me a few times. One night he brought my nephew James with him and they played I Spy on my computer for a while. When James started bossing him he said, “Be nice or I’ll go get Aunty. She’s the Tickle Master!” He’s always asking how I know “everybody’s” ticklish spots.

Lucione spent the night with us on Saturday. It was her first time since we moved into this house. Sunday afternoon we went to a family potluck because Michael’s aunt and uncle are visiting from Fairbanks on their way to Reno. I didn’t think his aunt would remember me but she called me over for a hug and reprimanded me for not visiting her the last time she went through town. Haha

Michael has been taking advantage of the low tides and gathering seafood. So far we’ve had clams on the half-shell, fried rice with cockles, and fried octopus (we call it devil fish). Tonight we’ll have clam chowder. We were also given herring eggs. We ate those a couple nights ago and last night we bought some ooligans. I’m afraid that with all this seafood, the hamburger we have in the refrigerator is going to spoil!

My first class is here so I guess I better stop now. I hope (if I even have any readers left after my long absence) you all have a good day! :o)

Spring Break

2006-03-22T21:47:00.000-09:00

I have this whole week off and have been keeping busy. Getting the house in order, watching basketball games, and just trying to think of anything but work.

Tonight I even turned on my web cam for a while to let Akeskileut see me. She always asks and I hardly ever do it so figured tonight was as good a time as any.

I ended up fooling with settings and she offered to help by telling me when it looked right, but I think that was just her sneaky way of getting me to leave it on longer!

All the snow has melted. Well, most of it, anyway. The roads are clear, but some of the snow in grassy areas is still there. The mountains are still white, too.

It's warmed up quite a bit, though. It's been in the 40's for the past few days. The sun has been shining and there are tons of stars out at night.

My girls are in the midst of their End of the Season Tournament. They lost their first game by 2 in overtime. They played hard and gave it their all, but things just didn't go their way. It's a double-elimination tournament, though, so they still have a chance.

Michael has a job coming up in a couple of weeks. The good news is it's here on our island. The bad news is, it sounds like it's only going to last about a month. Still, it keeps him home for that much longer and the pay will be better than what he's getting from unemployment.

I don't think there's anything else to update on. Life moves pretty slow here on the rock.

Oh, The Weather Outside is Frightful!

2006-03-16T07:35:00.000-09:00

I saw the weather forecast yesterday and was doubtful. I told others what I had read and they, too, were doubtful.

We were all wrong. The snow storm warning was more than justified. It was snowing last night but it was fairly light. The roads were just barely covered in a white powder.

When I opened my door to leave for school I was shocked. We had tons and tons of snow and it’s still falling. There were at least 6 inches. Some parts were even deeper because of drifting.

I’m not complaining, mind you. I was just shocked. We all were. When the phone rang at 7:30 and I noticed it was coming from the school, I thought it was going to be a Snow Day. It was Space Cadet on the phone…but she just wants Michael to give her husband a ride to the ferry today. Shucks.

Having all this snow brings back so many childhood memories. We used to get snow like this all the time when I was small. Deeper, even. I used to be able to lie down and disappear in the snow. Granted, I was smaller, but even my parents say the snow was a lot deeper back then.

I can remember being dressed up in a pretty little Easter dress, bonnet and all, and being pulled to church on a sled or in a wagon because my sister and I couldn’t walk in the snow in our dress-up shoes.

I can remember visiting my gram (at the house I just moved out of) and making snow angels with her in her yard. Her yard was never level, so we’d make snow angels at the low end and then go up to the higher end and roll downhill. We always had a blast and played till we were frozen. Then she’d take us inside and make hot cocoa.

We’ve only had one Snow Day that I can remember. It happened when I was a freshman in high school. We got a lot of snow overnight and because it was also windy, we had snow drifts in places as high as 18 inches. Cars couldn’t drive and some people had to shovel snow from their front doorways. Michael doesn’t remember any snow days from when he was in school. Most people walked back then, anyway.

The only thing I can find to complain about is the fact that I’ve run out of furnace fuel. We’re using electric heaters until I get paid and the business manager won’t pay us until after Spring Break (which starts tomorrow and ends on the 26th) so I guess my electricity bill is going to increase.

Other than that, all is well. I’m loving the snow, I’m hours away from Spring Break, we’re settled into our home, and I think I’ve finally beaten my latest cold. Life is good right now. Let it snow.

My Trip

2006-03-14T09:09:00.000-09:00

The tournament was so much fun. Our teams placed 3rd and 4th but they played hard and had some pretty exciting games.

The girls played on Wednesday. They actually had the first game of the tournament. They lost a heart-breaker by 2 points. They were behind by as many as 12 and fought hard to come back. With some fouls late in the 4th quarter, the other team was able to pull ahead and win.

Their loss meant they didn’t get another game until 8AM Friday morning. They won that game by 20 points and ended up in 4th place.

The boys played on Thursday and despite their hustle and determination, lost by 10. Had they won, they would have gone on to the championship game. They played for 3rd instead and won.

My niece Alexys was the only freshman on the All-Conference Team. She also received the Good Sport Award (an award chosen by the coaches based on attitude throughout the entire season). Our whole school received the Sportsmanship Award. Other awards received by our students included 5 more All Conference Team members (including one cheerleader) and All-Academic awards (high school seniors who maintain a 3.0 or higher throughout high school receive this award) were given to each of our seniors.

All in all, it was a pretty successful tournament.

Outside of the tournament we had plenty to keep us busy. We bought tons of movies at Wal-Mart, were able to enjoy Subway sandwiches, spend time with my sister-in-law and her family, meet my new puppy (who is still without a name and will hopefully be able to come to our home soon), watch Firewall at the theater, and just relax in our hotel room.

One day, we tried to find a way to keep the girls (Lindsey and Lucione) busy without them spending what little money they had. We took them to a car wash. My truck really needed it and they had a blast spraying the hoses and using the soap brush. They didn’t even mind that it was snowing. Haha At the time they looked as if they were enjoying themselves. I didn’t know how much until their mother mentioned how excited they were to tell her about it when she was finally able to join us in Town.

She arrived late because Michael’s aunt passed away two days before we were supposed to leave. We were trying to decide whether to stay home or go to the tournament when his cousin called and told Michael that she understood that we had paid for our trip and had it planned for quite a while. She said to go and support Alexys, so that’s what we did. Instead of the big group of 11, we were down to 4 until Thursday.

I think that’s my trip in a nutshell. At least all that I can remember at the moment and all I have time to write. My first class is in the hallway on its way to me so I guess I better get going!

Home Sweet Home

2006-03-13T17:33:00.000-09:00

I just returned home from 5 nights and 6 days in Town. We left on Wednesday and were supposed to return on Sunday but got bumped off the ferry so had to stay an extra night.

Our ferry broke down yesterday. They told us at first that it wouldn't run at all. Then they changed their minds and said they'd make a run, but just one. One run on our small ferry with enough people to fill it at least 2 and a half times.

Had they let us board in order of our check-in, we would have been the 3rd vehicle on board. But they went by reservation times. There were supposed to be 3 runs. One at 10AM, one at 2:30PM, and a final one at 5:30PM. Michael made the reservations and thought he'd be "safe" and put us on the last ferry in case we had things to do that couldn't be done during the tournament.

That meant we were part of the last bunch to be boarded. Again, had they sorted the reservation times by when we checked in, we would have made it home. But there were others who were more persistent in hassling the ferry people so they were chosen first.

We ended up being one of 4 cars turned away. I wasn't terribly upset, but not really looking forward to another night away. I was almost sorry by the time we finally settled in for the night.

Had we made the ferry, Michael wouldn't have had time to go to Safeway. Had he not had the time, he wouldn't have had the opportunity to buy groceries and I wouldn't have had to spend $300 in one place.

That's okay too, though, I suppose. We don't splurge like that very often and the variety of choices far exceeds anything we ever get here so it was worth it. I just hate spending money. hehe

It's snowing again. We've had snow since Wednesday. It isn't really sticking except to the trees so that's nice. It's pretty to watch fall but we don't have to worry about the build-up on the roads because there hasn't been any.

I'll write about the tournament tomorrow. I hope that all of you had a nice week(end) while I was away. :o)

Slowly Settling In

2006-03-01T09:00:00.000-09:00

We’ve slept at the “new” house for the past 2 nights. Connie, it doesn’t really have a nicer view, but it’s a lot quieter. The road is only used by those of us who live on it so I don’t have to listen to traffic all day and night. Not that our town has all that much traffic, but what little traffic we have is mostly made up of old, run-down, very loud cars. Hehe

I am already more relaxed and we haven’t even really unpacked yet. Just knowing that I don’t have to deal with the whole ownership issue of the other house anymore has lessened my stress level immensely.

The only trouble is, the phone company is pre-occupied with their frozen water pipes and haven’t had a chance to switch my phone line from one house to the other, yet. So I either have to sit in a freezing cold house (we took the oil we paid for and brought it to where we are now) to use my computer, or make use of the internet at work.

That means that I won’t be able to read blogs or anything like that for the next few days. I think we’ll be totally moved out of the other house today so I’m cut off till the phone company can help me out.

My cousin is anxious to start staying there. He’s attempting to stop my uncle from taking the house. He’s talked to a lawyer and our chief magistrate. They both say that my uncle has no legal leg to stand on. We shall see, but no matter how it ends up, I’m just glad I’m not in the middle of it anymore.

Break time is almost over. I better get ready for my class.

Miscellaneous Tidbits

2006-02-27T08:40:00.000-09:00

It’s a balmy 16 degrees Fahrenheit outside today! Clear blue skies and frosty windows. I love it!

Why is it, when you ask 1 second grader not to whistle, the other 13 take that as their cue to start?

My move is almost complete. I think last night was my final night in that house. I’m sad and relieved all at the same time.

10 days till I go to Town for the Southeast Alaska Region V Basketball Tournament. I can not wait.

I was supposed to take a test on Friday to “see what it looks like” and use it as a starting point of where to start studying. I passed in one shot and am done! I’m now considered “Highly Qualified”. Boy, do I have them fooled!

I was deeply touched last night to find that Michael has saved every single letter I’ve ever written him. I didn’t read any of what I found, I was too much in shock to realize they meant enough to him that he saved them. He’s more sentimental than he lets on.

Today is the first day of the last quarter of the school year.

Did I mention it is nice and cold? Aside from the shocks I receive every time I touch anything that even resembles metal and my frizzy hair, I LOVE IT!

I haven’t been able to dress for work without matching someone else on staff for at least a week. Today I match a substitute teacher.

Okay, enough rambling…

On a Positive Note...

2006-02-24T07:12:00.000-09:00

The temperature hasn’t risen above 24 degrees in 3 whole days. I’m loving it!

Getting Closer

2006-02-23T21:44:00.000-09:00

We're almost to the point where we can move into the other house. The couple that were living there are finally completely moved out and we've managed to line up a storage space here so we don't have to cart all our belongings to Town.

As anxious as I am to get out of this house, though, we won't be able to until sometime next week. We can't pull it off tomorrow and won't be able to change our utilities and phone until Monday at the earliest so it looks like one more weekend here.

******************

I wish I could say that the move was the only thing weighing on my mind. People around me are getting sick left and right. Not just minor illnesses...big time problems. Cancers, heart problems, kidney problems...its getting to the point where I'm afraid to answer my phone because every call seems to bring more bad news.

Just in the last 3 weeks:

*a very close friend gave birth and had major heart complications

*a dear friend and co-worker had to have a kidney removed because he had cancer

*another dear friend and co-worker had a relapse of her breast cancer and I am still waiting to hear about a suspicious spot they found outside of her lung

*Michael's aunt will be coming home to spend her last days with family

*an aunt of mine will be having heart surgery tomorrow (Friday)

*my brother-in-law had a malignant tumor removed from his neck

The trouble with living in a small town is that everything that happens affects everyone. You're either a relative or a friend to just about everyone around you so anything, good or bad, has an effect on you or someone close to you.

I seem to be sensitive to everyone around me. My cousin and his wife weren't speaking today and that was all I could think about all morning. When he showed up at work to apologize to his wife, I don't know who was more relieved, me or her.

People always tell me they like that quality about me. They know I'll be sympathetic, empathetic, or at least be there to listen whenever I'm needed. But it's also that quality that wears me out. I sometimes find myself feeling exhausted because I carry the world on my shoulders and find myself trying to "fix" the situations of others or at the very least hold them up when they can't seem to stay upright on their own.

This is why I've been so quiet here on my blog lately. I'm quick to pick up everyone else's burdens and then tend to keep all that emotion bottled up inside. I put up a strong front but sometimes its all an act.

The Bad News Just Keeps Comin'

2006-02-22T09:10:00.000-09:00

Yesterday was Space Cadet’s birthday. We had a big turkey dinner at my in-law’s house. In the midst of her opening gifts and all of us sharing and laughing, my mother-in-law’s niece walked in the door.

Michael’s Aunt Lillian is about 83 years old. She had surgery on her kidneys on Monday. They “think” she may have had a stroke before she even left for Anchorage because all of the sudden, it’s extremely hard to understand her when she speaks.

So we all sensed something was wrong when Aunty Lillian’s daughter came through the door. She shared with us the latest news about her mother. The surgery was unsuccessful in correcting any problems she had with her kidneys. Her kidneys are failing. One is functioning at 50% and the other at 25%. Dialysis is not an option. Doing Dialysis would mean she’d have to be up in Anchorage for 2 months. Given her age and the fact that she just outright refuses the treatment, the doctor said the best option is to bring her home and keep her comfortable. There’s nothing they can do.

He said, “We could keep her up here and force the treatment on her, but the chances of it working are slim and she’d die of a broken heart before treatment was complete. If she were my family member, I would want to make her as comfortable as possible during her final days.”

I am not a medical expert…I have no idea how long we’ll have her with us once she returns home. She is completely bed-ridden so the ambulance will have to pick her up at the airport and transport her home. That means the earliest we can get her home is Friday…if the flights out of Anchorage coordinate with the ferry run.

Please keep Michael’s family in your prayers. I know this will be extremely hard on all of them. They are a huge, extremely close family.

It's About Time

2006-02-20T09:32:00.000-09:00

We finally got the call we’ve been waiting for. The people who were living in my dad’s house have finally moved out completely and we have started moving in. My dad’s house is smaller, but at least we don’t have to worry about feuding family members and we can start concentrating on a home of our own.

Lindsey spent the night with us on Saturday. In hopes of discouraging her, I told her that she couldn’t stay unless she helped me pack. She was more than eager to lend a hand and even though I was reluctant at first, we were glad to have her help. She is so strong for her age (and I have the fat lip to prove it!) and I had to work hard to keep up with her.

My sister-in-law’s dog had a puppy; just one lone puppy. Michael has wanted another dog and I was trying to hold out but his sister has already called him and told him he has first dibs on this puppy, a female, if he wants. It will be a small, indoor dog. I’m not sure I’m totally for it just yet, but I think I may be outnumbered this time. As long as she gets house-trained before Michael has to leave for work, I guess it will be okay. I’ve never had a female dog, though…I don’t know if I can handle it should she get pregnant and/or have puppies while Michael is away. We may have to get her fixed ASAP. hehe

I only have 4 days of work this week. Friday is the last day of our 3rd quarter and since my grades are done, I am not required to work. There are high school basketball games this weekend so having the day off will be beneficial when it comes to moving to the other house.

I was thinking I had a trip coming up next week, but it’s actually the week after. March 8th through the 11th I’ll be in Town for the Southeast Regional Basketball Tournament. We made reservations and paid for tickets and the hotel months ago when we thought Michael would be out of town for most of the basketball season. This was assurance that he’d get to see Alexys play during her freshman season of basketball. He’s actually been able to see all of her home games, but we’re still looking forward to the time away.

I have 2 more tests to give this week - one tomorrow and one on Wednesday. Then I’ll be done until May. I can’t believe how fast this school year has gone by. This is Lindsey’s last year in elementary school. She’ll be in junior high next year and Lucione will move on to high school! I’m starting to feel old.

I'm Such a Bad Blogger

2006-02-13T20:45:00.000-09:00

Too many things to deal with at the moment, I guess. I just can't come up with anything even half-way interesting to write about. I can't even post new pictures because, being in the process of moving, I can't find my camera and haven't downloaded the newest pictures from it yet.

Michael received some not-so-good news on Friday. He's been laid off until April or May. Not exactly the best news, but I have to admit, I'm not upset. We've made it through the toughest part of Winter and will do just fine with my income for a while. Besides, I'm feeling selfish and am just finding myself feeling glad that I'm not going through all of this alone.

I was sick all weekend so haven't checked up on Genon. Thank you all, for your prayers and good thoughts.

Tomorrow another friend of mine, who happens to also be our guidance counselor in the elementary school, is having surgery in Anchorage. She had cancer 12 years ago and beat it. Unfortunately, during her yearly check-up this year, they found reason to be concerned. She's going to have surgery tomorrow in order to do a biopsy, lumpectomy, and check out her lymph nodes. It's in the early stages (only 4mm) so there's reason to be hopeful. She is irreplacable to us as at school so hopfully she'll beat this for a 2nd time.

I'm exhausted...physically from being sick and emotionally from this rollercoaster called Life. Hopefully, I'll soon be back to normal (whatever that is) and back to blogging regularly.

Genon

2006-02-09T08:13:00.000-09:00

I have mentioned before that I didn’t have a very close relationship with my sister while growing up. My mother moved away and my sister started rebelling against the world. I became the adult in the household and had to do some fast growing up.

It was during this time that I became involved with church. I was in the Youth Group, Youth Choir, Church Choir, Bible Study, Sunday School…if it was happening at church, it was almost always a sure bet I’d be involved.

It was through music at church that I met Genon. She was the pianist. She was 4 years ahead of me in school. Because I was in the high school band while still in junior high, I knew who she was, but didn’t officially meet her until I started going to church.

Once we did meet, we became instant friends. We’d sit with each other at church, she’d play the piano whenever I sang (which at the time was almost at every service and we had 4 services a week), and we spent a lot of time together outside of church.

Being a small isolated community, there are not a lot of things to do when you’re a kid. For generations now, the thing to do is “walk the block”. There is one major block that encompasses the main part of town. Kids just walk around in circles all night socializing with each other. It was like that long before I did it and still continues to this day.

Genon and I used to walk the block just about every day. By the time we became friends, she had graduated high school and I was a freshman. The age difference didn’t matter. We had the same sense of humor and we both loved music. We were pretty much inseparable. Even when she had a job and I didn’t, it was me who brought her snacks (nachos with extra cheese and a Coke) during her break time.

The happiest times of my high school years were spent with her. When I felt like singing, I would. It didn’t matter where I was. I felt comfortable enough with her that I could just open my mouth and sing. When I did, she’d join in and harmonize with me. When I needed to talk, she’d listen. If we couldn’t talk in person for some reason, we’d exchange letters. If we were in a situation where we couldn’t speak, we’d communicate via sign language.

I remember talking about my family. Every time I’d mention my Uncle Tom (not the same uncle I’m dealing with now, btw) she’d ask, “Who’s Michael John?” Every single time. We’d laugh about it, but didn’t really think anything of it…until I met Michael. His middle name is John. Now when she hears me say Michael John, she asks, “Who’s Uncle Tom?” She always makes me laugh.

The summer after my junior year of high school, Genon became engaged. We were all happy for her and she let me be a part of the planning. She asked me to sing but before we could choose a song, her fiancé left town. I don’t remember why now, but he had to leave and the wedding was off. Not long after that, we found out Genon was expecting a baby.

She was scared. She was 22 by then, but single and unprepared. I stood by her and helped as much as I could. I held the baby while Genon was playing piano, babysat during the day when she needed a break, I just tried to do whatever I could to help her get through.

I graduated at 17 and went off to college. We stayed in contact while I was away and spent time together during my breaks. After college, I was 21 and she was 25, she became depressed. She pulled away and switched churches. We still talked, but it wasn’t like before.

Before I could figure out what was going on, she attempted suicide. She swallowed a bunch of pills and fell into a coma. When she woke, she was in pretty bad shape. She had to relearn how to do a lot of things. Speaking and walking were difficult. At first, she didn’t even remember who I was.

I didn’t want to overwhelm her so kept my distance, but when I saw her, I made sure to talk to her and she slowly began to remember her life before the coma.

It took a while, but she finally recovered and we had a long talk about why things happened and promised each other we’d be there if either of us ever got to a place like that again.

She eventually married and her daughter graduated high school last year.

Last month, Genon went to the doctor. She needed blood tests. I don’t know what the blood tests were for, but in checking for whatever they figured out that she was expecting another baby. She was due in 5 to 6 weeks! She had gone over 7 months without knowing.

On Saturday, February 4th, she gave birth to Isaac. He’s a healthy baby boy but Genon did not fare so well.

They sent her to Anchorage because after her c-section she had major heart problems. Apparently, her suicide attempt weakened her heart and even though she didn’t go through regular labor, it wasn’t quite strong enough for childbirth.

She’s having heart surgery today. They’re going to put a pacemaker in her. Her newborn son is here at home with Genon’s daughter and mother. Please, if it is in you to pray, say a quick prayer for Genon today. Think good thoughts for her.

We almost lost her once. Isaac needs her. God, please let her be okay.

Rambling Thoughts

2006-02-08T08:39:00.000-09:00

I was pleasantly surprised this morning when I opened the front door and saw a blue sky. It was actually blue…as in not cloudy and not completely dark. I am so excited that I’m not coming to work in the dark anymore.

My arm is so much better today. I actually rolled around in my sleep last night. I kept waking up in different positions. Since the day I hurt my arm, I had been sleeping on my back (which I hate) all night long. I even brushed my own hair today. It made my arm tired, but didn’t hurt. I’m making progress. :o)

I’m stuffed up again today, though. It never fails. When I get sick first, Michael doesn’t catch it. But when he gets sick first (like this time) I get it, too. It’s so not fair!

I just got a memo in my mailbox telling me we have an inservice next Wednesday. That’s going to put me behind on my testing. Why does something have to happen every time I need to test?! Just once I’d like to go through the process and have it go smoothly. Being that we don’t have an on-site tech guy, I guess I should just be glad they are working this time.

I just got back from science class. We had extra time at the end and had fun reminiscing about past years. I had to tease my nephew Ethan about the day he fell asleep in computer class. He’s little…always has been the shortest in his class. He’s also a clown. He likes to tease and be teased. He used to pretend to sleep in his chair. Every time I went near him he’d close his eyes and pretend to snore. Well, this one day, I noticed he was extra quiet and still. I walked over to him and, of course, his eyes were closed. I whispered his name and he didn’t move. Not even the hint of a smile. That’s when I suspected he was actually asleep because he can’t keep a straight face. “Ethan, are you asleep?” Still nothing, so I have him a little poke in the ribs. He didn’t open his eyes so I went and got his teacher. It took the both of us to wake him up. Once he woke, she took him back to his classroom. He curled up on a bean bag and took a long nap. I’ll have to post a picture of him. He’s a cutie and you can tell just by lookin at him that he’s a clown and a ham.

Speaking of nephews, Craig got a hair cut. It’s really short; shaved, but not bald. Feels kinda like a man’s chin after a few days of not shaving. He walked into computer class yesterday and I almost didn’t recognize him. He must have realized how shocked I was because he said, “Aunty Kerri, I’m here and I’m NOT bald!”

I’ve been following the trial of a Craig teenager accused of plotting to have her mother killed. I can’t decide if I believe her or not. I’m so glad I don’t live in Juneau. I would not have wanted to be on this jury. She could get multiple 99 year sentences if she is found guilty of all her charges.

She confessed to knowing about the plot, but they’re saying it was coerced, that the cops kinda bullied her into a confession. Both of the guys (who were 24 at the time…she was 16) who committed the murder pleaded guilty and agreed to testify against her but the guy who actually killed her, changed his story on the stand and said the girl had not spoken directly to him, that he was taking the other guys word that the girl wanted her mother dead. The entire story is on Court TV’s website, if you want to know more. The jury should begin their deliberations today.

I can’t believe its Wednesday already. I only have 1 computer class today and they aren’t coming because they have to do some testing in their classroom. That means I have nothing to do for the next 2 hours.

Hopefully, I’ll manage to keep busy. I can’t type anymore, though.

Blowin' in the Wind

2006-02-07T10:06:00.000-09:00

I’ve been awake since 3:00AM. The wind and rain woke me up. I’m told it was blowing 65mph and gusting well above that. I don’t know for sure, but it was strong enough to shake my house. Add to that, the fact that I am stuffed up today and I am not a happy camper. I can’t miss work for the next 2 weeks so am stuck being half asleep and miserable.

Oh well, complaining won’t fix anything.

Getting Better

2006-02-06T09:35:00.000-09:00

Slowly but surely, I am getting better. My neck and back are fine now. I have limited use of my arm but it’s getting better. I am not bothered by it too much unless I am too active. I still can’t raise my arm above my head but can at least rest it on my desk so I’m no longer typing one-handed. But that also means I can’t type as long, as the longer I do, the more I ache.

Our belongings are slowly getting packed up in boxes. I am not allowed to help so that is making things go a lot slower. We have a lot more “stuff” then will actually fit in the house so we have to figure out what to do with it all. I’d hate to think we have to haul a bunch of it to Ketchikan to put in storage and I don’t know that I’m ready to give it up in a garage sale.

We went and looked at my dad’s house on Friday night. We were pleasantly surprised to find out that the couple who were staying there did some minor repairs. They also painted all the walls. All white…but still they are painted and it looks nice. They didn’t pay rent so I guess this was their way to thank my dad for allowing them to stay for so long. They’ve got a few more things (like an extra refrigerator) to move out of there before we can move in.

I’m feeling better about moving and am even a little glad. It will be nice to not have the stress that came along with living here. I still don’t like the way things have played out and am extremely disappointed in my uncle, but I couldn’t stand to be in the middle of it all anymore. It’s not my fight to fight. I really shouldn’t have ever been involved at all. We were just doing my mother a favor because she didn’t want the house to stand vacant.

We were busy with basketball this weekend. It was Homecoming weekend and Craig sent both their boys and girls teams. That meant 4 basketball games a night. We were at the gym from 3:00 to about 9:30 PM both Friday and Saturday. Friday night the boys lost. They were behind by as many as 20 and fought their way back up to with in 3. They had some silly fouls right at the end and they lost by 6. They played a lot better on Saturday and won by 15. The girls won both nights; Friday by 19 and Saturday by 30. Alexys scored 19 points on Friday. I don’t know how many she scored on Saturday, but she played another great game. I can’t wait until the tournament next month. They have a chance to do really well. The boys can, too, if they play like they did on Saturday.

Sunday was Super Bowl Sunday. We made french dip sandwiches and homemade french fries. The game was disappointing. I’ve got nothing against the Steelers, but I like to root for the underdog. Seattle had never played in the Super Bowl before and I was hoping they would win. I feel like they should have. The so-called “pass interference” was barely a touch and the Steelers quarterback did not break the plane with the football until after he was down so should not have scored. By my count, the game should have been 17-14 in favor of the Seahawks. Sorry, SQ…hope you enjoyed the game. :o)

Now I’m back at work…and testing again. That means that no matter how sore my arm gets or how much I sneeze (I think I’m getting another cold!) I can’t miss work for at least the next 2 weeks.

I’ve got 2nd grade coming and my shoulder is tired…time to stop typing. Happy Monday to you all.

I'm Baaa-aaack! (For Now)

2006-02-02T10:36:00.000-09:00

I was told I should put up a post so y'all would know I'm still alive.

Please excuse my long absence. Life around here has been crazy and painful. I have not spent a lot of time at my computer and once I've typed this, will get back off because I can only sit here for a short time.

Let's see...where to begin...

When I last posted, I was confused about what to do about the whole house situation. Thanks to my uncle (ha!), I am no longer confused but angry and hurt. Without going into all the gory details, lets just say that he's claiming this house is his, he's convinced the mayor this house is his, and he's not changing his mind.

I can keep living here and pay him rent, or move on. Had I been the one fighting for the house, I would not even consider moving on. I know he's wrong. I totally disagree and am heart-broken over it, but this is not my fight to fight.

We've already started packing. It's taking a lot longer than I had hoped (because I can't help) and I don't even think my uncle knows yet. We'll live in my dad's vacant house until we figure out our next move. At least I know he won't kick me out.

Now, about the pain...

Last week, when Michael drove me to work, I hurt myself getting out of the car. I opened the car door just as a big gust of wind came. The wind grabbed the door and flung it open almost pulling me out of the car.

I didn't let go because I didn't want the door to be damaged. I damaged myself, instead. I've got severely strained muscles in my neck, shoulder, and back as a result.

I haven't worked this week and have been on pain killers that are not really killing anything except my good mood. I can't really move my arm and when I do, have almost no range of motion.

Even now I'm typing with one hand. It takes forever because I'm right-handed and have to do everything with my left. Using my right hand for anything, including typing, makes my shoulder ache.

I didn't want all my posts to be all about my problems, aches, and pains so I took a break. Jayleigh, I'm sorry. I just got your comment today and will check out your new blog soon. Being at the computer is too uncomfortable at the moment.

Y'all take care and I'll be back on once I regain use of my right arm.

Confused

2006-01-24T09:09:00.000-09:00

I’ve spent the last few days trying to figure out what my next move is. A couple weeks ago I received a letter regarding the house in the mail from my uncle. It sounded so bitter and cold that my initial reaction was to pack up and get out. I don’t normally run from confrontation, but this is my family. My mom only had 2 siblings and one has already passed away from cancer. Was this house really worth losing an uncle? At the time I didn’t think it was. I was so upset by his words that I just wanted to wash my hands of the entire situation and not look back.
Then Michael came home. He’s talked to my cousin and was told by him not to move. He said that, legally, our uncle doesn’t have the right to force me to move or even pay rent. Michael’s reluctant to move because of that conversation.
I’ve yet to hear from my mom as to what she wants me to do. The statements in the letter that upset me the most were directed at my mom. How someone can say such hurtful things about his only remaining sister is beyond me. He even inferred that he and my aunt who died loved each other more than, and in a deeper way, than he has or could love my mom.
It’s just one big ugly mess and I’m about to the point where enough is enough. I made the mistake of telling Space Cadet. She, in turn, told my in-laws. Now they’re all upset and concerned. My dad said to just move into his house and remove myself from the middle of this whole situation. As much as I’d like to, I have a hard time just “giving up” and letting my uncle have his way because I know in my heart he is not right. I hate these types of decisions.
I’m trying so hard to enjoy having Michael home but I can’t truly relax because of this whole house issue. I wish I knew how to get moved out and NOT relinquish the house to my uncle.

I'm so Happy!

2006-01-20T14:39:00.000-09:00

You can't see me, but I'm dancing in my chair. The weather is gorgeous...30 degrees and clear blue skies. Michael is home...for at least 2 weeks, maybe as long as 2 months! My baby is here (Lucione) and we're having her favorite food for supper (fish and rice). My niece Alexys is a freshman this year...starting 5 on the varsity basketball team...and her first home game is tonight.

It's just a good day. The kids at school behaved really well and were as cute as ever. The new SpEd teacher finally talked to me. She still won't make eye contact, but at least she talked to me. She's been here 2 weeks now and was starting to give me a complex because whenever I entered a room she'd clam up. A few times she even went as far as turning her back to me. Weird.

Michael and the others have a small job to do here. I'm not sure how soon they'll start, but it will last about a week and a half. The project that they have lined up in Fresno is still tied up in red tape. They will stay home until all the paperwork is complete. They were told they could be here 2 or 3 weeks, or as long as 2 or 3 months. That makes me so deliriously happy.

Not just because I like having him home, but because of the fact that I am going to have to move. Well, I don't have to. I just made the decision to. The house I'm living in was my grandmothers. The reason we are living here is because it became my mothers. My uncle, my mom's only brother who happens to live in a lovely 2-story home of his own, has claimed this house as his own. If we don't move out by the end of this month, we have to start paying him rent.

It's not the rent I'm upset about. It's the way my uncle went about getting the house. He has not been nice about it. At all. He's doing all of his communications through written letters, each one sounding more bitter than the last.

I've finally reached the point where I've had enough. My dad's house is empty because he moved into my step-mom's house after they married. We'll live there until we can secure some financing to either build a home of our own, or bring in a modular home. I have a lovely beach front property all ready to put a home on. Once I do, you can all take turns coming to visit me. :o) But you'll have to get in line behind Akeskileut. She's already promised to be my first guest. Connie Marie, maybe you can come along with her. ;o)

Anyway, I'm off to eat supper. Then we'll deliver my dad's birthday present on our way to the game. I hope you all have an absolutely fabulous weekend. I know I will! :o)

2 More Days

2006-01-18T09:42:00.000-09:00

I’m at work today after taking yesterday off. This lovely cold of mine will not go away. I feel so disconnected from the world around me because I haven’t really been a part of it for over 2 weeks.
It felt strange to walk into Science class this morning. I had no idea what the kids were doing. The classes took their tests and started new units while I was sick. I still can’t talk properly so spent my time in the copy room. When I finished making copies I corrected tests. Fun stuff, I tell ya.
The little league basketball season started this week. Lindsey and Lucione are on the same team this year. This is wonderful news. Normally, I’m at the town hall every Saturday for hours at a time because I have to watch so many different teams play. But now with Alexys in high school, Lucione and Lindsey on the same team, and James not participating, I only HAVE to watch 1 game a week. Of course, I’ll probably watch more. Have to get my $1’s worth, ya know.
Michael will be here on Friday. No stressing about how he’ll get home this time. The travel lady FINALLY woke up and realized that traveling home in one day, although possible, is rather stressful and inconvenient. So they’re actually leaving Fresno tomorrow. They’ll overnight in Seattle and take the first flight to Alaska in the morning. That means, Michael will be home before I even get off work. Akeskileut won’t have to deal with my stress this time. Haha This will also give Michael a chance to visit his big brother. They’re both excited about that. They were planning on staying at his house but I don’t think that’s going to work out.
There’s a chance Michael may be able to stay home until the contracts for their next project are signed. I’m VERY excited about that. This weekend is Alexys’ first home game and next week is the first game for my girls.
Between basketball games, I think I’ll be packing and moving. More on that later. For now I’ve got to a 5th grade class in here for computers.

I'm a Copy-Cat

2006-01-16T16:42:00.000-09:00

I saw this on Fizzy's blog and thought I'd see what my birth date said about me.

Your Birthdate: August 29

You have the mind of an artist, even if you haven't developed the talent yet.
Expressive and aware, you enjoy finding new ways to share your feelings.
You often feel like you don't fit in - especially in traditional environments.
You have big dreams. The problem is putting those dreams into action.

Your strength: Your vivid imagination

Your weakness: Fear of failure

Your power color: Coral

Your power symbol: Oval

Your power month: November

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

The mind of an artist? Hmmm...most definitely haven't developed that yet. I have never felt artistic. Not unless you call music art...and even then I totally doubt myself.

I never feel like I fit in...anywhere. I tend to drift to the corners of whatever room I find myself in.

This says my strength is my vivid imagination. That can go both ways. It is also my vivid imagination that causes me to wonder whether something terrible has happened to Michael when he doesn't answer the phone at a predetermined time.

The fear of failure, though, that's dead on. The fear of failure stops or delays me from doing a lot of things. I know its silly, but I can't stop myself from being afraid.

I'm not sure what a power color is...but I know that when I wear coral I receive a lot of compliments. I always thought that was strange because I don't even particularly like that color.

Anyway...what does your birth date say about YOU?