I need to VENT

Tomorrow is supposed to be our last day of school until January 8th. I walked out the door at 10AM this morning and do not plan on going back until January. I didn't ask permission to leave. I don't know if I'm in trouble. But I couldn't stay. Let me explain...

Part of my job this year is to maintain the library with another person. Neither one of us has been trained as a librarian but our district won't pay for a licensed librarian so we were just sorta put in there.

This is my 2nd year (though not consecutively) in the library and I've learned my way around. I've learned the software so I can check books in and out as well as catalog new books and create barcode labels to scan both the borrower and the book they have chosen.

Lately, we've been having trouble with over-due books. Kids take them home and leave them there...teachers check them out for research and fail to return them in a timely manner. We've got an over-due list with around 65 items listed. In a school of 150 kids, that's a big number.

Sometimes, the kids return the books when we are not in the library so they get re-shelved without being properly checked in. For this reason, we decided not to have library classes this week. We were going to take the opportunity to get the shelves organized and make sure that all of the books that are over-due are actually checked out and not sitting on the shelves.

We put a notice in the bulletin LAST WEEK. Today, the 3rd grade teacher (Mrs. B) brought her class to the library. I was finishing up a computer class and the other lady was in a meeting with the principal. Mrs. B went to the office and asked why we weren't in the library. The secretary told her, "It's been in the bulletin for a week and a half...there is no library class this week."

The teacher went back to the library and started reading a book to her kids. Not knowing they were there, I walked through on my way to the office. I was going to tell the secretary where she could find me if she needed me. Half way through, the teacher said, "I guess it's been in the bulletin that there's no library this week?" I told her it had been. One of her students spoke up and said, "Well, we do get out tomorrow." Mrs. B said, "I know but I CHOSE TO WORK TODAY."

That really stung. I bit my tongue, went to the secretary and told her what happened. She agreed that regardless of how Mrs. B felt, she should not have made a comment like that in front of her kids. I felt as if she was insinuating I was slacking off...like I closed the library just to take a break. She's part of the problem...she's got 10 books checked out in her name...8 of them are over-due.

I told the secretary I was going to go into the library to do what I needed to do...that I would NOT be checking her books in or allowing her to check out any new ones. She said that was only fair since it had been in the bulletin for so long.

On my way in, I met the other lady who works in the library. She said, "Now this is what all the teachers should be doing. Reading to their own kids." I said, "Yeah, but I don't think she's doing it because she wants to. She's being stubborn about her library time because she failed to see the notice about no classes this week." I told her about Mrs. B's comment and she turned around and went and told the principal.

I sat at my desk to barcode some books and Mrs. B instructed one of her students to turn the light off. I can't figure out why she wanted to read in the dark, but it made it impossible for me to do my work. I couldn't see the books I needed to enter. I got up and went back to the secretary.

She knows me well enough to know when I'm upset. She asked what was wrong. I told her how Mrs. B had turned off the lights. She asked if I said anything. I said, "No. She knew I was there...and I have enough respect for her that I'm not going to exchange words in front of her students."

Just then, the principal came out of his office. The secretary told him about the lights. He didn't even stop walking. He just looked at me and said, "Just keep smiling, let it go and move on." He walked right out the door before I could say anything.

I looked at the secretary and said, "Keep smiling? Do I look like I'm smiling? I can't "keep" doing something I wasnt' doing to begin with." I got up and walked out.

I had a computer class from 9:30 to 10:00. It was about 9:25. I sat at my desk trying to remain calm but it was hard not to cry. I tried to compose myself while the kids were there, and did for the most part, but they knew something was up. Little kids are very perceptive.

I just couldn't get past his words. "Let it go and move on." Easier said than done. First the teacher insulted me in front of her kids and then the principal acted as if my feelings don't matter. Like I'm not deserving of a little respect. Like HE doesn't care about the rest of us as long as HE doesn't have to deal with anything.

I don't think the teacher should have gotten away with treating me like that. I don't think I should have to just "move on". Had I said the same sort of comment to her, you can bet she'd be screaming and hollering till something was done about it.

Once my computer class was over, I shut down my computer and put on my coat. The other library lady tried to talk to me but I was too close to tears. I wouldn't stop. She said she told the principal about "the incident" and asked if he had talked to me. I said, "No. He doesn't care. I'm going home." Just then the secretary came running out of her office and I said, "Bye. I'm going home. See you in January."

I haven't called her to see if the principal even reacted to my leaving. I almost hope he fired me.