Springy Sunday

What a beautiful day today! The sun was shining, I think we got over 40 degrees, and there was hardly any wind.

Space Cadet had a choir concert in Town today so her girls hung out with me. It was the first time we had both of them at the same time in quite a while. We had so much fun. We were outdoors for most of the day. We had a blast and they actually got along! When they were little we couldn't have both of them at the same time for more than a couple hours because they'd either get way too nuts or start fighting. It helps that they're both teenagers now, but they still have their moments. We kept them busy enough, though, that they had a very enjoyable day with each other without so much as a dirty look between them.

I want to apologize to anyone who still happens to be reading my blog. I don't know what's come over me...or maybe it's something that "hasn't". I just can't bring myself to visit my blog lately. I'm not online as much as I used to be. I'd like to say it's because I'm too busy doing other things. I'd like to...but I can't. I think about it...but when I turn the computer on I end up checking my e-mail...checking in with my mom and sister...maybe taking a peek at Bebo...and then I'm back off again.

Maybe I miss chatting with Millie. I've been thinking about her a lot lately. For the past 3 months, actually, but especially the past few days. They've moved her back to Alaska but she is still asleep. I knew she was a big part of my life before all of this but I don't think I realized just how big a part she played. I'd rush home from work everyday to turn on the computer and see if she was online. She'd ask me about my day and tell me about hers. She'd let me see her grand-daughter on the webcam. We'd look at each others blogs and Bebo pages...sometimes play games together. There were times we wouldn't even talk...but just knowing she was there was enough. If we couldn't connect online we'd talk on the phone. I really miss her. I pray for her every time I worry and lately I've been praying a lot. Part of me is feeling selfish. I want to know that she will remember me when she wakes up. Then I feel guilty. I shouldn't have thoughts like that and in reality that is not a big concern of mine at this point. I just want her to wake up so her family can have her back. If she never talks to me again, I will learn to live with that and be thankful for what we had. It's her family who needs her. Our friendship was truly God-given and I will be eternally grateful for all that she has done for me.

I think our outting today has a lot to do with me thinking so much about Millie. We saw some swans on the lake and Millie loves swans. One time we were online playing games and we decided to change our screen names to see if we could spot each other. I changed mine to NuYuuGwa'a, which means "It's Me!". Of course she knew it was me right away because of the spelling...she recognized it as being my native language. She changed her name to SwanLady. I thought of her when we were at the lake today. When I got home I wanted to show her the swans and for a split second forgot that I can't.