Well, Folks...It's Official

Our new life-style has begun. Of course, it hasn't really hit me yet because he walked out the door just 4 hours ago. I must say, though, after having a couple of emotional days leading up to today, I was rather calm when he left. I didn't cry when we said our goodbyes and I felt very calm and peaceful.

The last couple of days were completely different, though. It seemed as if I was crying all the time. Michael didn't quite know how to take it. He'd just comfort me as best he could until the moment passed and I was once again able to catch my breath.

I became quite angry with myself a few times because of all the emotion I was experiencing. I've no right to complain when I have relatives who have been in Iraq, away from their families, for the better part of a year. I've no right to feel sorry for myself when there are plenty of other families in the same situation as I am. Why do I deserve to be so selfish?

Then I'd think of all the "what-if's" and start crying again. Michael's never lived away from home before. He's never driven on a freeway. What if he has a car accident? What if the doctors were wrong to give him clearance? What if he has a heart attack and I'm not there?

I couldn't get my mind to stop...for 2 days straight. Monday I was okay. Probably because I was in shock that it actually was going to happen. Tuesday and Wednesday were really hard for me. Add to that the fact that his parents insisted on giving him a "Going-Away Dinner". I wanted to think about anything but the fact that my husband was leaving...and that's all they wanted to talk about.

I'm okay right now, though. I understand that this will be a major adjustment. But I keep telling myself that it's for the best. It's extremely difficult to find work here so this was necessary. If he ends up not liking all the travel, then he can stop. But I'm not going to stop him. Not until I give this an honest chance. If you ask me, one week together a month does not a marriage make, but it's more than some families get. I'm trying to be thankful that he even has a job.

I'm also thankful that his first trip away is only 2 weeks. He'll be back on July 28th for a short stay.

Lucione just came back from her camping trip. She smells like a campfire. I need to do some laundry.

Thank you all for your concern. All of your comments touched me. I'll be okay. I always am. I just need a little time to adjust.