Music to My Ears

About 3 years ago, I was a foster parent to a niece and nephew of mine. My niece was 1 and a half and my nephew was 5 weeks old when I got them. I had them for 5 months.

My cousin was having some rough times in her marriage. Her husband drank and was very abusive. She had threatened suicide when we were growing up and even tried to OD at one time. With the drinking and abuse, all of her insecurities resurfaced.

It was a Sunday afternoon. She and her husband had a fight and he left. She called her mom, my aunt, and was crying. My aunt tried to ask her what was wrong but wasn't able to understand her. She panicked and called the police.

The police knocked on her door and there was no answer. They heard babies crying but the door was locked. They broke through the door and found my cousin wearing nothing but a blanket, unconscious on the living room floor. The babies were upstairs in their cribs crying, hungry, and scared.

They found empty pill bottles on the floor. She was rushed to the clinic to have her stomach pumped and then sent to the hospital inTown until she recovered.

Social Services took her babies away and, because her relationship with her mother was unstable, they were going to send them to Juneau for temporary placement unless they could find someone here in town to care for them immediately.

The next day, I was at work when my aunt came and told me what was going on. Michael was working and not able to be reached but I couldn't stand the thought of those babies being sent to strangers if I could prevent it.

I explained the situation to him when he got home and he said he understood. Later that night, we went to my aunt's and picked them up. I was so scared. I had no idea what to expect. 2 babies...totally dependent on someone they didn't even know.

Ahka can tell you how scared I was. I'd sign on to chat with her every day to tell her what was going on. I'd tell her how nervous I was and she'd calm me down and tell me how well I was doing.

For 5 months I had them. I watched them grow healther and happier. My niece was learining to talk and started to call Michael "DaDa". Those were 5 of the hardest but most rewarding months of my life.

We gave them back to my cousin just before Christmas that year. It was hard to let them go but I had to trust that my cousin would do what was best for them.

They moved to Town and I didn't see very much of them until they moved back home last winter. My cousin's marriage was still shaky and I always knew when there was trouble because she'd disappear for a while. She'd stop answering her phone and would rarely leave the house. Most likely waiting for the latest bruise to fade. She's finally started divorce proceedings and is now living with my aunt.

I was walking to the grocery store today and walked past my aunt's house. I noticed her front door was open, but didn't think anything of it. I was on a mission...had to get to the store and back home.

Then I heard it. A little voice was calling out. "Aunty Kerri! Aunty Kerri!"

I turned towards my aunts house and there was my niece. She was all dressed up and looked like one of the princesses from Disney's Sleeping Beauty...pointy hat and all.

"Hi, Baby! Look at you! You look like a princess!"

That made her giggle and she asked if she was a pretty princess. I told her, "I've never seen a prettier one."

She danced around on the porch to music only she could hear. Then her little brother came running out.

"Roar! Roar! Look at me! Roar!"

He had a little plastic tiger and was quite proud to show it off.

When I first got them they were both malnourished and underweight. They were plump and happy when we gave them back. I constantly worried about them but knew I had to give my cousin a chance to do what was right for those babies.

I've never been an advocate for divorce but it's the best thing for her, really. I sincerely hope she follows through. It always makes me happy to see her kids and, knowing all they've been through, hearing their squeals of joy is music to my ears.