Is it Really Worth it?

The more I think about it, the more I am getting tired of my life.

I’m sick of all the politics at work. I’m sick of the family issues concerning this house I’m living in. I’m sick of always having to say goodbye to my husband.

Don’t tell me its seasonal depression. It’s not even that dark yet and I don’t go through a similar phase every year.

In fact, I’m normally more optimistic about things. But there comes a point where thinking positive doesn’t help. No matter how much you try and tell yourself things are going to be okay, they can’t just suddenly get better.

Even if the situation gets resolved, things are changed forever. Relationships you could once trust become strained or just sort of fade away.

The appeal this small town once had for me is tarnished and as much as I love it here, I’ve come to realize that I love what it used to be. Not what it is now.

I understand that things must change. Change is inevitable, unstoppable.

I know I could be strong enough to weather any storm if I choose to be.

The question is do I want to be?

Do I want to stay here and fight these battles hoping that someday, by some miracle, things will be resolved? Is it really worth the effort?

Right now, I don’t think so.

I’m frustrated, disappointed, discouraged, and lost.

I hate this feeling.

I hate what my life has become.