13 Days Till Christmas!

This weekend was the best. No, we didn’t do anything out of the ordinary. Didn’t travel to an exotic destination. We didn’t even travel to Town. Haha (That’s our plan for next weekend.) But it was still the best.

No stress, no illness, nothing negative whatsoever. Just the two of us, hanging out, enjoying each others company. We haven’t really done that in ages. We spend a lot of time together, but this weekend we reconnected. Had a couple heart to heart chats which lead to me feeling even more loved and secure than I ever thought possible.

We haven’t really been having problems. We were just sorta going through the motions of being married. We found ourselves in a rut. I think we’re ready to make a fresh start now and I feel like we’re moving in the right direction.

I had a wonderful talk with my mom and sister yesterday. They’re both doing great but are a little homesick. My sister hasn’t had a Christmas here at home since she left (back around ’88) and my mom has only had one Christmas at home since she left and that was about 3 years ago. They were feeling bad because my gifts for them have already arrived and they haven’t had the money or time to shop for me.

I hate how Christmas has become about gifts. I don’t like people feeling like they “have” to give me a gift. I never believed in things like drawing names, or gift exchanges. The past two Christmases, Michael’s family has had a name drawing night. They claim it’s to take the financial burden off of us and to guarantee we each get at least one gift. I buy gifts because I want to. Each gift chosen specifically for each person given as a sign of my love and appreciation for them. When they draw names, I always end up with a distant relative who doesn’t live here and whom I barely know. The first name I drew wasn’t even a relative. He was the boyfriend of one of my nieces. Not a husband, not a father to any of her children, just a boyfriend…who lived in a whole different state than my niece at the time. I bought him a coat because I didn’t know him well enough to really find the “perfect” gift for him. A couple months ago, my niece was at my mother-in-law’s house for a family dinner. She was wearing the coat I bought her boyfriend. Her mother commented on the coat.

“Oh, I like your jacket.”

“Thanks, but it’s not mine. It’s Marks. He got it for Christmas one year but can’t remember who gave it to him. He leaves it in the closet in case it was from his mom.”

I wanted so much to tell her it was from me and that he could do whatever he wanted to do with it since it was obvious he didn’t want to wear it. It still looked new almost 2 years later.

This year I drew the name of a nephew I don’t know. He lives in another state and I never see him. The last time he was home, he didn’t acknowledge me in any way, not even if I tried to initiate it. I got him a coffee mug with his clan on it. I don’t even know if he drinks coffee but it’s a cool looking mug.

It’s time for dinner now. Michael cooked us steaks and baked potatoes. I’m drooling just thinking about it. I hope everyone had a good weekend!