Is it Really Worth it?

The more I think about it, the more I am getting tired of my life.

I’m sick of all the politics at work. I’m sick of the family issues concerning this house I’m living in. I’m sick of always having to say goodbye to my husband.

Don’t tell me its seasonal depression. It’s not even that dark yet and I don’t go through a similar phase every year.

In fact, I’m normally more optimistic about things. But there comes a point where thinking positive doesn’t help. No matter how much you try and tell yourself things are going to be okay, they can’t just suddenly get better.

Even if the situation gets resolved, things are changed forever. Relationships you could once trust become strained or just sort of fade away.

The appeal this small town once had for me is tarnished and as much as I love it here, I’ve come to realize that I love what it used to be. Not what it is now.

I understand that things must change. Change is inevitable, unstoppable.

I know I could be strong enough to weather any storm if I choose to be.

The question is do I want to be?

Do I want to stay here and fight these battles hoping that someday, by some miracle, things will be resolved? Is it really worth the effort?

Right now, I don’t think so.

I’m frustrated, disappointed, discouraged, and lost.

I hate this feeling.

I hate what my life has become.

My Weekend

I hope everyone had a nice weekend. Mine was pretty good, for the most part. There are some things going on in my family that concern the house I’m living in. I don’t want to go into details just yet. I’ll wait till I have more details and know what’s really going on.

Having Michael home was so nice. Not just because he spoils me! His visits are always so short. This time, he’ll be gone for 15 days. He comes back on the 21st for Thanksgiving and will get to stay home until the 28th. We’re really looking forward to that.

Space Cadet ended up staying over in Town an extra night so we had Lucione most of the weekend. It wasn’t so bad, though, because she’s pretty independent so it’s not like we had to drag her with us everywhere we went. In fact, when given the choice, she opted to stay home. She went back to her home on Saturday after supper so we had all of Sunday to ourselves.

Saturday night we went for a drive later than usual. While we were out, the rain turned to sleet and then into a really wet snow. There was about an inch of slushy snow covering everything by the time we got home. Most of it had melted by Sunday morning, but the mountains are gorgeous. I love the way they look in the winter with all that fresh, white snow.

Today, we’re back to our rain so whatever’s left of the snow, will be gone soon. It’s gusting around 31mph so I didn’t think Michael and Rick would make it out. They did, but their jet hasn’t even reached the airport yet because it is delayed up in Juneau so who knows if they’re going to make it back to Santa Maria tonight or not. Hopefully, the plane won’t be terribly late and the jet out of Seattle will delay long enough to wait for them.

We tried to do most of our shopping for Thanksgiving this weekend. Obviously, I didn’t buy the produce, but we bought the turkey, cranberries, canned pumpkin, and stuffing. The less I have to do on my own, the better since I tend to walk everywhere. I wanted to get most of it done because I’m counting on our usual Thanksgiving storm to wreak havoc on Michael’s travel plans. But then again, we don’t usually get snow until after Thanksgiving so I really don’t know what to expect.

Here at work, we have to get our TB and flu shots today. I’m hoping for a different nurse than last year because I don’t feel like bleeding for hours afterwards again. For such a tiny needle, the TB shot causes some big bruises on my arm. I don’t mind needles, though. I’ve seen enough of them in my lifetime that they don’t even phase me anymore.

Monday morning is actually my busiest all week and it’s taken me over an hour to finish this post. I’m not even sure if it makes sense and I’m not going to take the time to read over it. I’ve got 2nd grade now and they’re a little wired so I need to deal with them.

Happy Monday to all of you!

He Comes Bearing Gifts

Well, Michael made it home safely last night around 7:45. Lucione and I were watching a movie and he just waltzed right in the door. I don’t know why it surprised us. We knew he was going to be in last night. But the door opened and we both gasped. Then when we saw him it was a race to be the first to get a hug. I won. :o)

Lucione was very excited. He brought home new basketballs. He can’t seem to travel without buying something for her and her sister. He’s spoiling them.

Not that I have room to talk. He spoils me, too. This time I got a bunch of movies and Adobe Photoshop Elements 4.0. He actually took his boss to the store with him and asked him to help him pick out some photo editing software. I have to say, his boss made an excellent choice. I’ve wanted Photoshop in some form for a while now but didn’t dare mention it to Michael because I knew it was expensive. Michael thinks that if I say I want something or wish I could have something, I’m asking him to get it. I have to be careful what I wish for.

I also got another inflatable figure. This one is for Christmas and there is no way it will fit indoors. Hopefully, come Christmas time, we won’t have high winds. Otherwise I won’t be able to use it. It’s 8 ft. long. It will not fit in my house.

After Michael ate his dinner (which I managed to cook in the oven without burning myself) we went for a drive. Lucione didn’t come with us because she was glued to the TV watching Herbie Fully Loaded, one of the movies Michael brought home for me. I tried to talk him into letting me stay home today to help him clean the house (we have company coming on Saturday and even though the house isn’t in terrible shape, I wanted it to be “extra” clean) but he insisted he could do it alone. He said he wants to be able to cook me lunch. I offered to sleep in till lunch time. That just made him laugh. :o)

So here I am at work, feeling guilty that I’m not at home cleaning. Now I’m afraid I won’t be able to find anything when he goes back to work. He cleans so well, only he knows where things are.

Once while we were visiting my mom, he cleaned and organized her garage. Months later, when she couldn’t find something, she called and asked Michael. He was able to tell her exactly where the box was that held what she was looking for. Not just a guess, either. He told her which box on which shelf. I don’t know how he does it.

Tonight he’s going to make homemade pizza for dinner. He doesn’t let me do a whole lot when he’s home. That’s okay, though. I won’t complain. I’d be crazy to. I’m just going to enjoy this weekend as much as I can.

What Day is it?

Today feels like Friday. All week I felt like I was a day behind and now I’m a day ahead of myself.

This morning as I was walking to work with my head down, I was thinking how the rain felt extra cold. I couldn’t pick my head up because with the breeze and the ice cold rain, it hurt my face. When I finally had to look up in order to cross the street, I noticed that the mountains are half white. The snow is moving further down the mountain. It’s 37 degrees today, which isn’t even all that cold but it’s the coldest we’ve been so far.

I don’t remember the mountains getting snow this early in recent years. I know it didn’t happen last year. I remember grumbling on here about the lack of snow almost all winter long. It’s beginning to look like I’ll get a lot of use out of my lovely green scarf this year! :o)

Don’t forget, if you’d like a Christmas card from me, click the E-mail Me link in the side bar and send me your address. I promise not to send you anything weird; nor will I share your personal info with anyone. Hehe!

Michael comes home today but I don’t know what time to expect him. He arrives at the airport at 4:14 AK time. The ferry normally leaves at 4:30, but they are going to delay their departure for at least an hour in order to allow Michael and my cousin to get from the airport to the ferry. Depending on when they leave, he’ll get home anywhere from 8:00 to 9:00 PM my time (This community is the only one in Alaska that does not change its clocks for Daylight Saving Time. We are on Alaska Time from April to October and on Pacific Time from October to April).

I normally don’t like to have kids at my house the night he comes home but this time it was unavoidable. Space Cadet has to take Lindsey to Town this afternoon because she has her first appointment with an orthodontist tomorrow at 8AM. It’s cheaper to go by ferry, and it’s not light enough early enough to fly so they’re going to spend a night over there. Space Cadet’s husband is a tender on a diving boat and will be out on the water so I will have Lucione for at least one night. Hopefully, Space Cadet will come home on Friday and I can give her daughter back to her without the other one taking her place.

I’m having technical difficulties here at work again today so I better get busy working.

Trick-Or-Treating With Tigger

Okay, finally, here they are. Pictures of some of my nieces and nephews with my Tigger! As always, click the pictures to view them bigger.





This is Mikayla and Craig. Their mother told her to look scary. hehe! She's too cute to look scary. Especially with all those wind-blown curls! :o)

















Here's Lucione. She calls her costume a zombie.

Here's Lindsey as a devil.....

......and Alexys as an angel.

Here's Lexi...I was most excited to see her and her little brother. These are the kids I fostered for 5 months a few years ago. I can't belive they've gotten so big but it makes my heart glad to see them so happy.

And here's Lexi's little brother, Brady.

Want Mail?

I know I promised pictures yesterday, but I didn’t get on my computer till late and then was so busy chatting with Akeskileut, I didn’t have time to post. So you can blame her. Hehe I’ll try to remember to post tonight. Maybe while Akeskileut’s eating her supper so she doesn’t distract me again! :o)

Yesterday was not a good day for me. It started off good, went terribly wrong, and then ended okay. Funny how your mind tends to dwell on the bad things and is sometimes quick to forget the good things. At least mine is, anyway.

But yesterday was a good day because I was able to brighten a friend’s day with a nice surprise.

I can’t believe its Wednesday already. Michael will be home tomorrow night. I so look forward to his visits. They’re short, but I’ve learned to be thankful for them.

Last year a fellow blogger invited her readers to e-mail her their mailing address and she in turn sent them Christmas cards. I would like to do the same. If you would like to get a Christmas card from me, click the “E-mail Me” link and send me your postal address.

I’ve got science first thing this morning…so I guess I better cut this short. I need to start posting from home so my posts have more substance to them and are not just daily “reports” all about my boring, non-eventful life.

*sigh* If only Akeskileut would quit monopolizing my time while I’m at home! :o)

Halloween Tales

Halloween was so much fun! I didn’t dress up, I never do. I haven’t since the 6th grade. I wrote all about it somewhere in my archives – probably around Halloween last year.

Michael and I had a bet going as to when the first visitor would knock on my door. I thought it would be around 7:00. He said it would be at 6:00. When I mentioned it to Akeskileut, she said it would be at 6:30. We were wrong. All three of us. My first visitor knocked at about 5:30.

It was the 5th grade teacher and her son, Samuel. I have a huge inflatable Tigger in my living room. Mrs. M said, “Oh, I like your little Tigger!” Then we both giggled because it is far from little. Her son said, “Mom, that’s a BIGGER Tigger!”

After Samuel left, my witchy step-mom (see yesterday’s post) stopped by with my two nephews Joshua and Chatham. They, too, were excited about the Tigger and posed in front of it for a picture. I didn’t think to ask my step-mom to pose. I missed an excellent photo op there.

Most of my visitors were family. The highlights were when Lexi and Brady stopped by (Lexi was the Statue of Liberty and Brady was a puppy.) and seeing my girls. I’ll post pictures later when I’m at home. I got a cute one of Mikayla trying to look scary.

The weather started off okay. It was cloudy and dreary, but basically calm. By the time the kids ventured out, though, the wind had picked up. I could hear kids wandering through the neighborhood and it sounded like they were having a lot of fun in the wind. But then the rain came. Good thing it was a school night. Most kids had headed home by the time the rain came. I tried to give Lindsey a water-proof bag but it didn’t match her costume so she declined. I hope her candy didn’t get too soggy.

Anyway, I’m here at work, sleepy and sneezing, willing the time to pass quickly. I hope you all are having a good day wherever you may be. Please say a prayer for Jayleigh, as she’s home recovering from surgery.

Happy Halloween!

If you celebrate the holiday, I hope you have a safe and enjoyable one! For those of you who don’t, Happy Monday to you! ;o)

I was on my way to work this morning, thinking to myself how dark it was and also enjoying the walk in the cold, misty rain. We’ve had a break in the wind this morning.

A car pulled up along side me and stopped. I looked in the window and had to laugh. It was my step-mother. She waved me in, even though I was just a few yards from the back door of the school. I opened the door and she said, “Get in. It’s not everyday you’re picked up by a witch!”

Being that she is my step-mother…there were plenty of come-backs I could have said, but I bit my tongue. Besides, we get along really well.

She’s in full costume; long black dress, pointy hat, green and purple hair. I didn’t ask if she had a broom. Hehe

My step-mom is the town secretary. The daycare kids are going to the municipal building to go trick-or-treating today so she dressed up for them.

Today is going to be a long day at school. The classes are having Halloween parties, but not until the last hour of the day. So they’re going to be antsy with anticipation All. Day. Long. I wish we could fix it so that Halloween always fell on a Friday. That way we’d have the entire weekend to recuperate. Haha

The first bell just rang. That means I have class coming in about 5 minutes!

Enough Already...Please!

     We’re in for another day of 60mph gusts or better. The rain is freezing cold and we’ve actually got snow at the top of our mountains! We normally don’t get these heavy rains and winds until November. I’m hoping that all these storms mean we’re getting it over with early and not that we’re going to have an extra long rainy season.

     Actually, we don’t have a rainy “season”. We get rain all year round. Most years we average around 150 inches of rain. But we always get a lot of storms in November. I can’t remember a Thanksgiving where we didn’t have heavy rains and gusting winds. A successful Thanksgiving dinner is one prepared without the interruption of a power outage.

     I received one detention while in high school. Just one…and it honest to goodness was not my fault.

     My mom had already been living out of state for a few years by then. My dad works in construction. He often had long hours starting before daylight and ending after dark. Because of this, I and my sister had to walk to school each day. Between our home and the school was a hill. It’s not very steep as hills go (it’s rather flat compared to, say, a San Francisco hill) but steep enough that we used to go sledding down it during the winter.

     One particular morning, I had a clarinet sectional before school. I was first chair so needed to be there to lead the sectional. I got close to the top of the hill and with the wind blowing so hard, I couldn’t make it up. The wind was pushing against me and as hard as I tried, I wasn’t moving forward.

     I was “stuck” there for what felt like an eternity. Cars were passing by, one even stopped to watch me. Nobody offered assistance. By the time the wind died down enough for me to get to the top of the hill, I was late.

     My band director wouldn’t accept my excuse of “the wind was stronger than me” so I received a detention. Needless to say, when we got even stronger winds a few weeks later and a tree fell on her car I was not very sympathetic.

     I’m crossing my fingers that our stormy season is almost over. I’m tired of chasing down my garbage can. I’m tired of listening to the howling wind when I should be asleep. I’m just plain tired.

Warning, Oven is HOT!

My mom left home when I was 12 years old. I've been cooking for about 20 years, give or take a few. You'd think I'd know how to remove food from an oven without hurting myself. Wouldn't you? A grown woman....cooking for more than half her life.

Click photo to view larger.

Not so...2 days in a row now...TWO DAYS IN A ROW...I've reached into the oven to remove my dinner and burned myself. I'm just lucky my reflexes are fast enough that I haven't blistered or anything. Sheesh! This is why we need a nice take-out restaraunt on this island.

Frustration

Another day, another storm. At least I was able to walk to school today. The wind calmed down but the rain was freezing cold.

     I just had a long talk with the science teacher. She had a couple parents show up at conferences who were quite upset about their child’s science grade this quarter. Trouble was, judging by the work turned in, these kids actually deserved F’s but were awarded D’s for “trying”.

     I can understand a parent not wanting their kids to have low grades, but they were not asking their kids “why” their grades were low. They just went to Ms. H and asked her why she didn’t do more to help them.

     Well, when your kid is not turning in their work, not asking for help, and not making an attempt to catch up when missing school, there’s not a whole lot you can do. Kids are given the opportunity to come in after school. They are given extra-credit opportunities. When they don’t take these opportunities, somehow it’s the teacher’s fault.

     I felt bad for Ms. H because this is her first year here. I know she would like to do more for these kids, but having 144 science students, you don’t always have the time to hunt them down or call every parent. Not only that, she’s also the Title I math teacher. She’s a busy lady. Parents don’t realize how much she actually has to do.

     In that respect, I’m glad I don’t give grades for my computer class. I would most definitely have parents in here upset with me.

     Parents are not involved enough at the elementary level. They don’t bother to come in and see how their children are doing throughout the quarter and then they are surprised when they don’t have the straight A student they think they should when report cards come out.

     And that’s just academically. Let’s not mention the behavior problems parents don’t believe their angels have. We’ve got kids who think it’s okay to mouth off to other students as well as teachers. I asked a kid one time to stop yelling at the kid next to him. You want to know what he did? He went home crying and said I threw his headphones at his chest really hard. I had the parent come in and show me how that could even be possible. The computers in this lab are all against the walls. When I’m talking to a student I’m standing behind them. If I wanted to throw something at them, which I would never do, it would hit them in the back of the head and not their chest. And the headphones? The cords aren’t even long enough for them to stand up while wearing them. It’s not possible to throw them.

     I’m sorry, it’s just frustrating sometimes and I needed to vent. I’m done now. *Taking deep breaths.*

Rain, Rain, GO AWAY!

This rain just will not go away! It storms all night and morning. It will calm down usually around 3PM only to start up again in the evening. We’ve had storm after storm for days and days.

I actually called my step-mom for a ride today because, even though I’m 2 blocks from work, I didn’t feel like fighting the wind and rain. I don’t usually ask for rides, but I’m glad I did this time.

Yesterday was my sister’s birthday. If you ask her, she’ll tell you she’s 29. I find that hilarious being that I turned 29 five years ago and she’s 22 months older than I am. I tried to call her but got voice-mail. I’m sure I’ll get in trouble for not calling back. I had a message from her on my phone this morning. She tried calling after I had gone to bed. I don’t have the ringer on in my bedroom so I missed it. Oops!

We have a short day today. There are parent/teacher conferences today so the kids are being dismissed an hour early. Same thing will happen tomorrow. If we get a turnout of 90% or better, the kids get pizza and ice cream. Incentives like that really work. Last year we only had one parent miss.

This is also Red Ribbon Week. (That is so much easier for me to type than it is for me to say.) We wear red ribbons all week and the kids participate in drug-free activities with the guidance counselor all week. We also get stickers and pencils. Yay! hehe

I received Michael’s next itinerary from his boss last night via e-mail. He will be home an entire week for Thanksgiving. I’m so happy! There are 10 days till his next visit home. I try so hard not to count down, because it’s never-ending, but he asks every time we talk. I count down to his visit home and before he even steps foot on the island, I’m already counting down to the time he leaves. Then I start all over again.

I’m so glad this is not a permanent situation. Maybe I should get my CDL and insist they hire me, too. That way we could travel together.

My Weekend

There isn't really a whole lot to talk about regarding my weekend, but since I've been asked 3 times already today, I guess I should say something.

I had a long weekend because I don't do report cards and had no reason to be at work on Friday. I have a cold but it's not even half as bad as the last one. Bad enough, though, that I've wanted to stay home.

I missed the kids' basketball trounament this weekend but don't feel too badly as it was the first of many, many games they'll have this year. Our little league season drags on forever, not ending until April or March. I heard Lucione's team placed 3rd in their division.

The weather has been awful. Heavy rain and gusting winds All. Weekend. Long. It's not going to be stopping anytime soon, either. The wind has finally calmed down a bit for the first time today, but they've already issued a high wind watch for Monday. It will be gusting up around 60mph tomorrow. Not fun.

I've basically been a home-body all weekend. I bought plenty of groceries when Michael and I went to town so had no need to venture out. That has made this weekend feel especially long which isn't always a good thing.

It helped to relax and probably helped my cold...but it allowed me too much time to think. By yesterday I was an emotional wreck. I'm better today...just had to cry it all out and get over it.

It's quite a coincidence to think of the fact that of my small circle of acquaintences here in Blogland, 3 of my regular readers have husbands who travel on a regular basis for their jobs. I applaud you women, you know who you are, because you've done it longer than me and are doing so much better at dealing with it.

I swore I would quit whining and complaining on here, but y'all wanted to know how my weekend was going...so there ya go.

Mikayla

It’s time for some happy thoughts. I’m tired of getting myself all worked up about things I can’t change here at work.

I’ll give you some Mikayla quotes. She always manages to make me smile.


Last Friday she was here in the computer lab. To give you an idea about how she normally behaves, here’s a conversation I had with her teacher.

Her teacher was in here trying to do assessments with her kids while they were completing their tests on the computer. Mikayla was being her normal chatty self and the teacher noticed I was taking it in stride.

“How do you handle that? She’s not bothering you?”

“No,” I said. “She’s actually mellow at the moment. You should see her at family dinners!”

***********************************

Mikayla had her headphones on so couldn’t hear very well. She finished her test and said, “Aunty Kerri, I’m already done!”

“Good for you, Smarty Pants!”

She heard me wrong and said, “Hey! Don’t call me Farty Pants!”

I said, “I didn’t. I said Smarty…I can call you smart if I want.”

I don’t know what she thinks it means, but she said, “Oh no you can’t!”

I said, “I can too, Missy.”

Then one of he classmates asked, “Did she kiss you?”

Mikayla said, “No! But my mom kisses my dad!”

To which they both replied, “Ewwwwwwwwww!”

*****************************

Later that day, while in her regular classroom, her teacher’s husband stepped in for a couple minutes. He had something to show his wife, talked with a few of the students, and then went on his way.

After he left, the teacher asked if anyone knew who that man was. When they all said no, she said,”That was my husband.”

Mikayla wrinkled her nose and said, “Ewwww! You have a husband?!?” She has never been afraid to speak her mind. I’m glad her teacher found it humorous and not insulting.

***********************************

Here’s one more. Mikayla was in science class on Tuesday. One of her classmates said he needed to use the restroom. As soon as the words left his lips, everyone else needed to go, too.

Mikayla said, “Excuse me, Ms. H. I need to go to the men’s room.”

“No you don’t, Mikayla.”

“Yes, I do. I need to go to the men’s room.”

“Mikayla, only boys go to the men’s room.”

“Then I need to go to the girl’s men’s room!”

I cracked up when she said that and Ms. H looked at me and said, “You better write that one down, Kerri!”

Here she is last Halloween dressed as a puppy. It took forever to get her picture because she was busy crawling around acting like a puppy.

Technological Headaches...AGAIN!

     I have a short week this week because it’s the end of the quarter. Since I don’t do report cards and the kids won’t be in school, I don’t have to be here on Friday. I’m so glad today is Wednesday. I can handle one more day if I can just make it through today.

     We’re still having problems with the testing software. The program has the students listed as a grade higher than they actually are so their results are skewed. For example, a 3rd grader testing at 3.9 (the equivalence of a 3rd grader in the 9th month of their 3rd grade year) should have a high percentage and be scored as above average. But since the computer sees them as a 4th grader, they are getting a low percentage and are scored below average.

     Even knowing this, the principal still insists I continue testing. The teachers are irritated because even when the problem is fixed, there’s no guarantee it will fix scores already recorded. So all this testing I’ve been doing this year may very well end up to be null and void.

     That’s not even what’s bothering me, though. It’s the principal. He asked me to call customer service and report the problem. I did. He didn’t like the answer they gave me so wanted me to call back and “rattle their cage”. He said, “Call them back and tell them your boss is upset. Tell them your boss is spending money on training and I want to know if it’s even worth it because we’re getting incorrect data. Tell them your boss wants to know when this will be fixed and let them know that we’re very unhappy with their product.”

     I didn’t feel like it was my place to make the call. One, because I am not the Technology Coordinator and so shouldn’t have even made the initial call to customer service. Two, because HE was the one upset. HE should have been the one to tell them so. And three, just because I’m not good at rattling cages. It’s not in me to be mean even the words I’m saying are not my own.

     He ended up telling the tech guy to call so I’m off the hook as far as that goes. Not totally, though. I still have to get together with the tech guy in his office (wherever that is) to try and figure out what’s causing all the problems.

I also have to go to a Tech Committee meeting today. I’ll be there all day and I am not looking forward to it. I’m sure they’re going to tell me I’m not teaching enough. But you know what? I only see these kids once a week. With all this testing going on, I don’t have time to teach anything. They’re only in here for 40 minutes (35 for Kindergarten through 3rd grade) and the tests take close to 30 minutes of a lot of the kids.

     As Fizzy would say, I’ve got collywobbles in my stomach because I don’t know what to expect.

     Enough about work, though. I’m tired of it all. I’m so glad I have a long weekend coming up. Too bad it didn’t coincide with Michael’s weekend home.

Michael made it out this morning. I'm still waiting for him to call and let me know he's safely at his apartment. He was due in almost 2 hours ago, but he's a 30 minute drive from the airport and there's always a delay at LAX.

We had a very nice weekend together. I worked on Friday even though I didn't want to. I had to test (Which may have been a waste of time...more on that later.) so drug myself in.

Friday night we went for a drive and watched movies. Saturday morning, he woke me up at 6:00 and said that he was taking me to Town. I like to get groceries over there because they have a bigger variety of things and it's usually cheaper than over here. I was excited to have the chance to go.

We ended up spending a night over there. We didn't go to a movie, though. The theater only has 2 screens. He doesn't like horror movies so The Exorcism of Emily Rose was not an option. We weren't in the mood for Wallace and Gromit, either. We decided to go out to a nice dinner and then we just went back to the hotel and relaxed, enjoying each other's company.

We weren't supposed to come home until the 4:30 ferry, but I panicked because the weather had turned on us. We came home on the 10:30 ferry in case Michael had to turn around and go back on the 2:30 in order to make it out today. He decided he'd take a chance on the weather and I'm so glad he did.

It gave us another night together and the weather today was gorgeous.

When Michael first took this job, everyone told me not to worry. They said that every time he left home it would get easier. It hasn't, and I don't know that I want it to. I was as sad today as I was the first time he left back in July.

We've talked about it and he assures me that this is not a permanent situation. I assured him, that if it ever does become permanent, he better get rich quick because I won't stand for being left home all the time. He'll have to let me follow him wherever they send him. hehe

For now, I'm doing the best I can to deal with his absences. It's not as scary but it hasn't gotten any easier. I thank God everyday for whoever invented cell phones. If I couldn't call Michael everyday or had to pay for every call, I'd lose my mind and go broke in the process.

Speaking of which, I'm going to go and try to call him right now.

Monday Madness "This or That"

Which one?

1. Lemonade or Iced Tea?
At my mom's we make lemonade with lemon's from her trees but here at home, I drink Iced Tea.

2. DVD or VHS?
I own hundreds of VHS tapes, but have switched to DVD's over the past few years.

3. Gold or Silver?
I'll say gold only because all the jewelry I own was given to me by Michael and he buys gold.

4. Baseball or Tennis?
I don't really watch either, but will watch the World Series so I'll choose baseball.

5. Spring or Autumn?
I love the cool brisk air of Autumn. Someday, I'm going to travel somewhere where I can enjoy the colors of Autumn, as well.

6. Diet or Regular?
The only diet soda I drink is my mother-in-law's diet Pepsi and that's only because she won't take no for an answer. If I drink soda, it's regular.

7. Hearts or Stars?
I'll say hearts. I don't know why.

8. Snail Mail or Email?
I love sending and receiving snail mail. I send more than I receive, but that's okay.

9. Shop: Online or In-Store?
I live on a small island with only a few stores and very limited selection. I do most of my shopping online.

10. Credit Card or Check?
I'll say check, but only because the money I spend comes directly out of my checking account. I use a Debit Card most of the time.

Build Me Up Buttercup

When Lindsey was a little girl, I'd say between 2 and 4, she had quite a temper. She was extremely active and not really "bratty", but was quick to let you know she wasn't happy when things did not go as she expected.

She'd try to curse and call you names when she got mad. She'd cry really hard and then just start spewing all of her "bad words" at you.

Funny thing was, she didn't know any bad words.

She loved being at my house. When it was time to go, she'd get upset. "I don't wanna go! You let me stay you watermelon! You're a meanie, you candy bar!"

Her favorite one, when she was really mad at you was, "Leave me alone, you big buttercup!"

She eventually outgrew it but we often talk about it. Especially when we want to embarrass her.

Michael thought it was so cute and has taken to calling me Buttercup when he wants to tease me.

One day he heard "Build Me Up Buttercup" on the radio. He instantly fell in love with the song because it reminded him of Lindsey. He now calls it my song...because I, thanks to Lindsey, am his buttercup.

When he left to start work in California, he said he was going to find the song on CD so he could listen to it more often. He was never able to find it. He kept asking me to and I kept ignoring him.

He figured it was a lost cause and all but gave up on ever finding the song on CD.

I secretly ordered it while he was away this last time and it arrived the same day he did. I purposely did not put the garbage out so that he would have to take it to the dump himself when he got home.

I raced to the truck before him and slipped the CD in to the player. When the song came on, I turned the volume way up and all he could do was smile.

"You ordered it?"

"Yeah, that's why I was ignoring you when you'd ask me to look online. I didn't know if it would get here in time."

So we listened to it a couple times last night and reminisced about how Lindsey used to curse at me. hehe

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Speaking of Lindsey, here's another story for you.

We were in the library after school yesterday. She was coloring a picture of a frog and I was reading signs on our local tv station. I was singing "Five Green and Speckled Frogs" to her while she colored.

A sign on tv came up from the local hotel/restaraunt. It had a list of their daily specials. I read their special for Wednesday.

"Rib eye"

"Aunty Kerri, frog's don't say rib eye! They say ribIT!"

I cracked up laughing and tried to tell her that I was reading the tv. By the time she turned around, the sign had changed so she didn't see it.

"No it doesn't."

I insisted it did but she wouldn't believe me.

"You're funny, Aunty Kerri. I really wish you'd warn me when you're going to be this funny."

I Stand Corrected!

Akeskileut challenged me to take this US Citizenship test at Blogthings. She said, "You'll probably pass it with flying colors." I told her that, although I got high grades in History in high school, it's been a while and I didn't think I'd do well at all.

Weeelllll.......

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 10 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

I guess my memory isn't as bad as I thought.


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Just on a whim I tried this one:

Your Mood Ring is Dark Red

Very happy Love Passion

Mood Ring Generator

Why am I not surprised, you ask? Michael's due to arrive home tonight! :o)

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Your Career Type: Social

You are helpful, friendly, and trustworthy. Your talents lie in teaching, nursing, giving information, and solving social problems. You would make an excellent: Counselor - Dental Hygienist - Librarian Nurse - Parole Officer - Personal Trainer Physical Therapist - Social Worker - Teacher The worst career options for your are realistic careers, like truck driver or farmer.

What's Your Ideal Career?

I'm glad to know I made the right choice!

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Okay, enough fun for now. Michael just called me. He's on the ferry ON HIS WAY HOME. I better start cooking!

Action Sports- Surf industry taking off in Alaska

Hey, Sandy! Come on up! Surf's up.....in ALASKA! (Click the title for a link)