While I’m at work, I sometimes put a piece of gum in my mouth. Usually, it’s Ice Breakers or Winterfresh because I like mint. I’ve gotten really good at keeping it hidden. I chew it at first and then just kinda hold it in my mouth when I’m around the kids so they don’t know I’m breaking the rule. Hehe Sneaky, I know…but they haven’t caught on yet.
So today I’m in science. I bent down at a table to help a boy. He needed to measure the circumference of his rock and I was helping him hold the tape measure in place.
We were talking and he said, “Hey! Ms. Kerri, your hair smells like mint!”
“It does?” I ask.
“Yeah, I really like your shampoo!”
“Well, thank you very much, Jeremy! What a nice thing to say.”
Uncle Henry
My husband and I just got back from our nightly drive. We live on a very small island, so the scenery never changes, but it gives us a chance to be together without the distraction of a ringing telephone or the television and computer.
Tonight we were treated to a lightning show. We’ve had a lot of them this summer. More than I remember witnessing as a child. Looking up at the sky, I drifted back to childhood.
I was reminded of the many times I sat on my grandfather’s porch with my cousin and our Uncle Henry. Looking in from the outside, Uncle Henry was a complicated man. Those of us who knew him, knew him to be a kind man with a great sense of humor. As a child, he had polio. This resulted in twisted joints and arthritis. He couldn’t walk without the aid of a cane.
My cousin lived with her mother in my grandfather’s house. The house my dad grew up in. Being crippled, Uncle Henry never was able to move out on his own. So he had the same bedroom all his life. Unable to fully participate in the life happening around him, he turned to his VHF radio. His call name was Smokey. He had friends who never laid eyes on him because of that radio.
If he left the house, it was only to sit on the front porch. I used to sit with him. He’d talk to me in our native language about watching his little brother (my dad) grow up. He’d tell me how proud of him he was.
As a child, whenever we had northern lights, I would go visit Uncle Henry. I’d invite him out to the porch and we’d sit and watch the sky. He used to tell me that if I would whistle loud enough, the lights would dance for me. As hard as I’d try, I just couldn’t whistle loud enough. He’d whistle and sure enough, the lights would move. I’m sure the whistle had nothing to do with the lights moving, but at the time my uncle was magic. He had the power to make great things happen. It didn’t matter that he couldn’t straighten his fingers. I didn’t care that he couldn’t stand up without the cane in his hand. He was MY uncle and he was magic.
Today would have been his 74th birthday.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Monday, August 30, 2004
And so it Begins
Today was my first “normal” day at work. What that means, is it was my first day actually following my new schedule. I change classes every hour which will take some getting used to, but once I do, I may even enjoy it. The kids were funny…they’re so used to seeing me in the computer lab…then they walk into the science lab and there I am. Haha I wish I had a camera to catch some of those looks. Seeing me in the library wasn’t as much of a shock to them because I was sitting at the computer. They probably just thought I was fixing it or something. Next week they’ll be surprised that I’m still there. I still can’t get used to working until 4:00, but that, too will come in time.
I had first grade in the computer lab today. My nephew’s class. They are not very accomplished spellers yet, so are always asking how to spell. My nephew was using a program meant to teach about animals. The program has different activities. One of them allows the children to design a picture with animals and then write about their picture. My nephew was having so much fun designing his picture.
“Look, Aunty Kerri! I used all of my animals, even the panda bear!”
“Very good, what are you going to write about?”
“About my animals but I don’t know how to spell ‘Reptiles have cold blood’.”
“Do your best to sound out the letters and then I’ll help you.”
A bit frustrated, he turned back towards his computer and started to just press the keys.
As he was typing his nonsense, he let out this heavy sigh and said, “It feels like 2:30 and I wanna go home.”
I had to go out into the hallway because if I giggle and he hears me, he feels insulted. I didn’t want to insult him so stepped outside the door. His school day ends at 2:45 and it was only 9:30. I knew exactly how he felt. Haha I hope the rest of his day went better.
I had first grade in the computer lab today. My nephew’s class. They are not very accomplished spellers yet, so are always asking how to spell. My nephew was using a program meant to teach about animals. The program has different activities. One of them allows the children to design a picture with animals and then write about their picture. My nephew was having so much fun designing his picture.
“Look, Aunty Kerri! I used all of my animals, even the panda bear!”
“Very good, what are you going to write about?”
“About my animals but I don’t know how to spell ‘Reptiles have cold blood’.”
“Do your best to sound out the letters and then I’ll help you.”
A bit frustrated, he turned back towards his computer and started to just press the keys.
As he was typing his nonsense, he let out this heavy sigh and said, “It feels like 2:30 and I wanna go home.”
I had to go out into the hallway because if I giggle and he hears me, he feels insulted. I didn’t want to insult him so stepped outside the door. His school day ends at 2:45 and it was only 9:30. I knew exactly how he felt. Haha I hope the rest of his day went better.
Sunday, August 29, 2004
The Party
This afternoon, we went to a family gathering to celebrate the birthday of my twin nieces. They won't be 3 until September 13th, but they will be in Dutch Harbor then so their mother decided to have a party before they left. It was a good excuse to get the family together. It was nice. They're so adorable. I really wish I could see more of them. I hate that they don't live here.
Well, I hadn't planned on it, but I had a birthday party of my own. My husbands mother and two of his sisters stopped by and we had cake and ice cream while we watched the closing ceremonies of the Olympics. It was nice. They brought candles though and if there's one thing I hate about birthday parties (my own, anyway) it's the candles. I don't like being the center of attention so blowing out candles is quite embarrassing for me. I told my husband I didn't want any, but his sister had her own plan. haha Oh well, it was just family and I won't have to suffer through that for another year.
In the end, I got some nice gifts and we shared a few laughs. After sharing my birthday with my little nieces this afternoon, this was a good way to end my day.
Well, I hadn't planned on it, but I had a birthday party of my own. My husbands mother and two of his sisters stopped by and we had cake and ice cream while we watched the closing ceremonies of the Olympics. It was nice. They brought candles though and if there's one thing I hate about birthday parties (my own, anyway) it's the candles. I don't like being the center of attention so blowing out candles is quite embarrassing for me. I told my husband I didn't want any, but his sister had her own plan. haha Oh well, it was just family and I won't have to suffer through that for another year.
In the end, I got some nice gifts and we shared a few laughs. After sharing my birthday with my little nieces this afternoon, this was a good way to end my day.
The Gift
I finally opened my gift today. My husband, after all that prodding all week, seemed kind of nervous when I finally agreed to open it.
As I was removing the wrapping paper, he kept saying, "I hope you like it."
I do like it, very much. It's an all-in-one machine for my computer. It can print, scan, copy and fax. This is not my first all-in-one so that part is not exciting. What I really like about it, is the ability it has to read memory cards of different sizes. Now I can get my digital photos printed without having to hunt down my camera cable I always manage to lose. I can just slip the card into the printer and transfer them to the computer. That will definitely be a time saver for me. I can't ever manage to find my camera cable when I need it. The good thing about this is, if I should ever decide I want a new camera that uses a different kind of memory card, it's no big deal. This machine accepts 4 different sizes/types. Now that I have this, I'll probably be tripping over my camera cable all the time. That would be just my luck. haha
As I was removing the wrapping paper, he kept saying, "I hope you like it."
I do like it, very much. It's an all-in-one machine for my computer. It can print, scan, copy and fax. This is not my first all-in-one so that part is not exciting. What I really like about it, is the ability it has to read memory cards of different sizes. Now I can get my digital photos printed without having to hunt down my camera cable I always manage to lose. I can just slip the card into the printer and transfer them to the computer. That will definitely be a time saver for me. I can't ever manage to find my camera cable when I need it. The good thing about this is, if I should ever decide I want a new camera that uses a different kind of memory card, it's no big deal. This machine accepts 4 different sizes/types. Now that I have this, I'll probably be tripping over my camera cable all the time. That would be just my luck. haha
Saturday, August 28, 2004
Does it Feel Like it?
Today is our 12th wedding anniversary. The Presbyterian church puts out a calendar every year. They list the birthdays and anniversaries of our community members and then sell them for about $4.00 each. Yesterday at work, I was approached by 3 different co-workers. They all had the same comment and question.
"Congratulations on your anniversary. How many years?"
I told them it's been 12 and they all asked, "Does it feel like it?"
Huh? Does it feel like it? I didn't know how to answer that the first time it was asked. I was taken aback at first, and can't even remember what my answer was. It got me thinking, though. Now that I've had the time to think, if asked again I'd have to say, "Yes and no." Not a definitive answer, I know. But the only true answer.
I'd have to say yes because when I think about our life together, it does feel like a really long time. Not because I've been miserable and unhappy. But because I can't remember my life before marriage. I mean, I have memories, sure, but they're just pieces of who I once was. I have no memory of what it was like to be alone. My husband is so much a part of me now, it's like we were always together. Everything that is important to me now has to do with my husband. Everything worth remembering now involves my husband. I'm not the person I was before we married. The second we said, "I do," I became a new person. I started a new life. A life with my husband. So, yes, it does feel like its been 12 years. Because the person I am now, didn't exist until August 28, 1992.
On the other hand, when I don't focus on the calendar, it doesn't feel like 12 years. I can't believe it's been that long. People I grew up with are divorcing, having affairs, or separating. My husband and I have never separated. I've never gotten so upset with him that I would even want to sleep in a separate room. I hear female friends of mine complain about needing a break. On more than one occassion I've heard, "I want to get away for a while. I need a break from my husband." I can't imagine feeling that way. So I guess, in that sense, it doesn't feel like a long time because we aren't tired of each other. We aren't bored with each other. We've had our arguments, but nothing so drastic that we would even think of living a single day away from each other. We are not totally dependent on each other, but don't feel the need to be apart.
I don't know if all that makes sense. But if I'm asked again to answer that question, that's the best I can do.
"Congratulations on your anniversary. How many years?"
I told them it's been 12 and they all asked, "Does it feel like it?"
Huh? Does it feel like it? I didn't know how to answer that the first time it was asked. I was taken aback at first, and can't even remember what my answer was. It got me thinking, though. Now that I've had the time to think, if asked again I'd have to say, "Yes and no." Not a definitive answer, I know. But the only true answer.
I'd have to say yes because when I think about our life together, it does feel like a really long time. Not because I've been miserable and unhappy. But because I can't remember my life before marriage. I mean, I have memories, sure, but they're just pieces of who I once was. I have no memory of what it was like to be alone. My husband is so much a part of me now, it's like we were always together. Everything that is important to me now has to do with my husband. Everything worth remembering now involves my husband. I'm not the person I was before we married. The second we said, "I do," I became a new person. I started a new life. A life with my husband. So, yes, it does feel like its been 12 years. Because the person I am now, didn't exist until August 28, 1992.
On the other hand, when I don't focus on the calendar, it doesn't feel like 12 years. I can't believe it's been that long. People I grew up with are divorcing, having affairs, or separating. My husband and I have never separated. I've never gotten so upset with him that I would even want to sleep in a separate room. I hear female friends of mine complain about needing a break. On more than one occassion I've heard, "I want to get away for a while. I need a break from my husband." I can't imagine feeling that way. So I guess, in that sense, it doesn't feel like a long time because we aren't tired of each other. We aren't bored with each other. We've had our arguments, but nothing so drastic that we would even think of living a single day away from each other. We are not totally dependent on each other, but don't feel the need to be apart.
I don't know if all that makes sense. But if I'm asked again to answer that question, that's the best I can do.
Friday, August 27, 2004
TGIF
This has been one long week. With almost daily schedule changes and not enough prep time it was stressful, to say the least. I'm still not doing my regular schedule because I'm trying to get the computer lab functioning like it's supposed to. I'm just about there, so I'll be starting with the science and math classes next week. I started in the library today. Working with my partner in there will take some getting used to, but I think we can make it work. I'm still nervous about the science and math, though. I've never had to work along side someone like this before.
Today was a pretty good day. No major catastrophies at work...that's always nice, especially at the beginning of the year. I brought my niece home with me to spend the night with us. She's 10 but will be 11 in a couple weeks. I have a Shania Twain CD in the truck. Her newest one, "Up". There's a song on there that my niece loves. "Cha-Ching", I think, is the title. Anyway, everytime she's in our truck she wants to hear that song...over and over and over again. Well, tonight, we had to take her home to pick up some clothes. On our way, she asked for the song. Once you let her hear it, she won't want to hear anything else, so I was trying to talk her out of it. When she or her sister is with us, we take them for a drive at night and sometimes let them take the portable DVD player and watch a movie.
I brought the DVD player tonight and when she started asking for her favorite song, I told her, "By the time I find the CD, we'll be at your house and you won't even hear it play. Then you'll get back in the truck and start your movie, so why bother trying to find it?"
"Because, Aunty Kerri" she said, "I have a whooooooole different plan!"
That girl cracks me up. She's still awake so I better go keep her occupied. If she goes to bed now, she'll be up with the sun and I, for one, would like to sleep in tomorrow.
Today was a pretty good day. No major catastrophies at work...that's always nice, especially at the beginning of the year. I brought my niece home with me to spend the night with us. She's 10 but will be 11 in a couple weeks. I have a Shania Twain CD in the truck. Her newest one, "Up". There's a song on there that my niece loves. "Cha-Ching", I think, is the title. Anyway, everytime she's in our truck she wants to hear that song...over and over and over again. Well, tonight, we had to take her home to pick up some clothes. On our way, she asked for the song. Once you let her hear it, she won't want to hear anything else, so I was trying to talk her out of it. When she or her sister is with us, we take them for a drive at night and sometimes let them take the portable DVD player and watch a movie.
I brought the DVD player tonight and when she started asking for her favorite song, I told her, "By the time I find the CD, we'll be at your house and you won't even hear it play. Then you'll get back in the truck and start your movie, so why bother trying to find it?"
"Because, Aunty Kerri" she said, "I have a whooooooole different plan!"
That girl cracks me up. She's still awake so I better go keep her occupied. If she goes to bed now, she'll be up with the sun and I, for one, would like to sleep in tomorrow.
Thursday, August 26, 2004
So many people surround me
Yet I'm so all alone
I try to speak but have no words
My feelings go unknown
I feel so sad and lonely
Even amongst this crowd
I yearn to tell them how I feel
Afraid to speak out loud
They think I want what they want
"You're just being shy," they say
But to me its so much more than that
Wish I knew what to say
How do I tell them, "Thanks for trying
But that's just not for me"?
I've tried but no one's listened
When will they ever see
These walls I've build around me
So tall and strong and tight
They can't come down lest I consent
Yet they try with all their might
Nobody understands me
Nobody's really tried
They try to help but do more harm
So many nights I've cried
All alone lying in the dark
I've shed so many tears
Won't there ever be someone with whom
I can share my hopes and fears
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
School Starts Tomorrow
Well, tomorrow's the big day. School starts and I'm not so sure we're ready. Schedules are crazy, rooms aren't ready because of inservices, things just don't feel right. I thought it was just me, but even the classroom teachers were feeling a little overwhelmed today. I don't think it was such a good idea to start the kids on a Thursday when the teachers just started on Monday. What normally happens is the teachers have 2 or 3 days of inservice and get the remainder of the week to set up their rooms and prepare for their students. This year, those preparation days are actually the first days for the students so things are really hectic.
I think I have what will be my final schedule. I will be doing so many different things this year. Rather than concentrating on the computer lab, I have only 2 classes a day. Then I spend some time in the science lab. After my lunch break, it's back to the science lab before spending the last hour of the school day in the library. Once the school day ends, I will tutor students in math. So, my days will be busy. I'm still feeling overwhelmed but I am hoping that after a few days I'll get used to it and start to really enjoy my new duties.
My husband and I went for a drive tonight. We stopped at the beach and watched the fish jumping in the bay. They were small, but there were a lot of them. The beach is one of my favorite places to be. I love to hear the water hit the shore. It has such a calming effect on me. Watching the sun set and listening to the water is a great way to end the day. I own beach front property and I'm anxious for the day we can build a home there.
I think I have what will be my final schedule. I will be doing so many different things this year. Rather than concentrating on the computer lab, I have only 2 classes a day. Then I spend some time in the science lab. After my lunch break, it's back to the science lab before spending the last hour of the school day in the library. Once the school day ends, I will tutor students in math. So, my days will be busy. I'm still feeling overwhelmed but I am hoping that after a few days I'll get used to it and start to really enjoy my new duties.
My husband and I went for a drive tonight. We stopped at the beach and watched the fish jumping in the bay. They were small, but there were a lot of them. The beach is one of my favorite places to be. I love to hear the water hit the shore. It has such a calming effect on me. Watching the sun set and listening to the water is a great way to end the day. I own beach front property and I'm anxious for the day we can build a home there.
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Must. Stay. Awake
I'm on my lunch break. I have a lot of tedious work to do in the computer lab today. On 20 different computers I have to uninstall 6 different programs and then install newer versions. I'm in there alone, it's stuffy, and the teacher next door is playing mellow music loud enough for me to hear. I want so much to crawl under the table and take a nap. She's lulling me to sleep with her native flutes.
An update on my gift: My husband has wrapped it, finally....in Christmas wrap. He's placed it right in plain view and is trying to convince me to guess what it is.
"Pick it up anytime you want. Give it a shake and guess what it is."
He's relentless. Which is totally backwards of the norm. It's usually me trying to get him to guess his gifts. It's killing him that I'm not curious. I love it.
An update on my gift: My husband has wrapped it, finally....in Christmas wrap. He's placed it right in plain view and is trying to convince me to guess what it is.
"Pick it up anytime you want. Give it a shake and guess what it is."
He's relentless. Which is totally backwards of the norm. It's usually me trying to get him to guess his gifts. It's killing him that I'm not curious. I love it.
Monday, August 23, 2004
On a Lighter Note...
Okay, I'm tired of this mood I'm in. I am determined to not let the changes at work diminish my love for the job. Afterall, I am still working with kids. And that is the reason I love this job. I love kids. I love watching their face light up at the excitement of learning something new. I love listening to their laughter and chatter when they think I'm not listening. I just love kids. :o)
I have a lot of nieces and nephews on my husbands side of the family. One nephew is 7 years old. The family was here at my house last month for my husbands birthday. We were all enjoying our cake and ice cream and my nephew broke the silence.
"Did you all know that Bud has a last name?" he asks. (Bud is one of my dogs.)
"He does? What is it?" my mother-in-law asked him.
"Weiser!"
OMG, the roar of laughter that resulted was deafening. One, because this child is only 7. Two, because it came out of nowhere. Nobody in the family even drinks. What a witty little man he is.
I have a lot of nieces and nephews on my husbands side of the family. One nephew is 7 years old. The family was here at my house last month for my husbands birthday. We were all enjoying our cake and ice cream and my nephew broke the silence.
"Did you all know that Bud has a last name?" he asks. (Bud is one of my dogs.)
"He does? What is it?" my mother-in-law asked him.
"Weiser!"
OMG, the roar of laughter that resulted was deafening. One, because this child is only 7. Two, because it came out of nowhere. Nobody in the family even drinks. What a witty little man he is.
My Work Day
Work day...HA! I didn't get one single thing accomplished today. I basically got paid to do nothin. Good news is, the breakfast went okay and the secretary kept her mouth shut about my birthday.
Bad news is, my job as I knew it no longer exists. I, for the past 8 years or so, have been in charge of the computer lab. The kids came to me last year every other day for 45 minutes at a time. So they all got at least 2 days in the lab each week. This year it's completely changed. The lab is only open from 8:30 to 9:30. I get two classes a day for half an hour each. That means that the kids only get to use computers ONCE a week...and only for 30 minutes! I was so upset when the prinicpal told me. I had no warning whatsoever. What do I do with the rest of my day, I ask.
"Oh! You get to be in charge of the library and help out the science teacher with technology stuff. The secretary will need your help, too, this year because she's learning a new system."
I don't know how to run a library. My field of expertise is not science. I just got a new scanner, two digital cameras, and a projector for the lab and then they take the kids out of computer class. The kids get tested each year in reading and math. State tests. So what are they studying? Science. Each class goes to science for an hour TWICE a week. Music is only once a week, PE is once a week, Library is once a week...it's crazy. The kids are not going to know what they're doing from one day to the next because their schedule changes daily. They took away my afterschool tutoring, as well. So I don't know what I'm going to be doing for the last hour of my day. I guess learning how to run a library.
Maybe once we get going I'll feel better about things...but right now I'm so upset. I feel like the kids are getting cheated. I normally don't mind surprises...but this one really threw me for a loop and I don't like that feeling one bit. I hope things work out okay.
Bad news is, my job as I knew it no longer exists. I, for the past 8 years or so, have been in charge of the computer lab. The kids came to me last year every other day for 45 minutes at a time. So they all got at least 2 days in the lab each week. This year it's completely changed. The lab is only open from 8:30 to 9:30. I get two classes a day for half an hour each. That means that the kids only get to use computers ONCE a week...and only for 30 minutes! I was so upset when the prinicpal told me. I had no warning whatsoever. What do I do with the rest of my day, I ask.
"Oh! You get to be in charge of the library and help out the science teacher with technology stuff. The secretary will need your help, too, this year because she's learning a new system."
I don't know how to run a library. My field of expertise is not science. I just got a new scanner, two digital cameras, and a projector for the lab and then they take the kids out of computer class. The kids get tested each year in reading and math. State tests. So what are they studying? Science. Each class goes to science for an hour TWICE a week. Music is only once a week, PE is once a week, Library is once a week...it's crazy. The kids are not going to know what they're doing from one day to the next because their schedule changes daily. They took away my afterschool tutoring, as well. So I don't know what I'm going to be doing for the last hour of my day. I guess learning how to run a library.
Maybe once we get going I'll feel better about things...but right now I'm so upset. I feel like the kids are getting cheated. I normally don't mind surprises...but this one really threw me for a loop and I don't like that feeling one bit. I hope things work out okay.
The Day Has Arrived
Well, it's here...my first official day of work. The day I've been dreading and anticipating all at the same time. Don't get me wrong, I really love my job. I just don't like the awkwardness of the first day. Meeting new teachers, seeing old teachers for the first time in 3 months, and feeling anxious the entire time hoping the secretary doesn't embarrass me. My birthday is always close to our first day and she knows it and always does her best to make sure others know it, too. Hopefully, since my birthday isn't until Sunday I'm safe this year. haha! I better finish my preparations. I'll write all about my day later.
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Nope, I won't do it...I'm NOT going to give in!
My husband is driving me bonkers! My birthday is a week from today. He bought my gift yesterday.
Before he came home from work, he called me and said, "I bought your gift today. Want to guess what it is?"
I said, "No, I don't. I have no idea what it could be."
"Come on, just guess. If you get it right, I won't wrap it."
I'm cracking up now because he put me on the spot..."No, I can't even imagine what it could be. I don't want to guess. Besides, if I do make a guess and I'm wrong, you'll feel bad because you'll think that my guess was what I really wanted."
"I won't feel bad...JUST GUESS. Otherwise I don't know how I'm going to get it into the house."
Now I'm really laughing...my stomach hurts I'm laughing so hard. I tell him I will not guess. I always try to get him to guess his birthday and Christmas gifts and he always refuses so why should I humor him? So he brings it home and hides it in a spare bedroom.
"Your gift is in there if you want to look at it."
No way am I even going near that door. He keeps trying to give me hints, but I'm not listening. He came home for lunch today and went into the room. When he came out of there, he left the door open. I guess, so I'd see it and he'd be off the hook. No such luck, hubby! You've gotta keep it hidden or wrap it up 'cause I'm not peeking! :o)
Before he came home from work, he called me and said, "I bought your gift today. Want to guess what it is?"
I said, "No, I don't. I have no idea what it could be."
"Come on, just guess. If you get it right, I won't wrap it."
I'm cracking up now because he put me on the spot..."No, I can't even imagine what it could be. I don't want to guess. Besides, if I do make a guess and I'm wrong, you'll feel bad because you'll think that my guess was what I really wanted."
"I won't feel bad...JUST GUESS. Otherwise I don't know how I'm going to get it into the house."
Now I'm really laughing...my stomach hurts I'm laughing so hard. I tell him I will not guess. I always try to get him to guess his birthday and Christmas gifts and he always refuses so why should I humor him? So he brings it home and hides it in a spare bedroom.
"Your gift is in there if you want to look at it."
No way am I even going near that door. He keeps trying to give me hints, but I'm not listening. He came home for lunch today and went into the room. When he came out of there, he left the door open. I guess, so I'd see it and he'd be off the hook. No such luck, hubby! You've gotta keep it hidden or wrap it up 'cause I'm not peeking! :o)
Saturday, August 21, 2004
ABC's of Home
A is for Alaska, the state I call my home
B is for the beach I walk when I want to be alone
C is for the clams we use in fritters and in soup
D is for the native dance performed by many groups
E is for the eagle who sits high atop the tree
F is for those I hold dear – my friends and family
G is for my favorite color – almost any shade of green
H is for the always green, drooping Hemlock tree
I is for this island - there’s no place I’d rather be
J is for the job I love – the perfect job for me
K is for the kippered fish we put up every year
L is for the many lakes with water crisp and clear
M is for majestic mountains visible all around
N is for the native art seen throughout the town
O is for the ocean that surrounds our island home
P is for the beach front property I’m so proud to own
Q is for the Quonset huts left behind from World War II
R is for the rain that falls the whole winter through
S is for the salmon that are jumping in the bay
T is for the totem poles I walk by everyday
U is for the unbelievable sunsets often viewed
V is for the venison – roasted, jarred, or stewed
W is for winter – my favorite time of year
X is for the eXceptional scenery that’s so abundant here
Y is for my Yaya – the hero of my life
Z is for my Ziish – who was my Yaya’s wife
B is for the beach I walk when I want to be alone
C is for the clams we use in fritters and in soup
D is for the native dance performed by many groups
E is for the eagle who sits high atop the tree
F is for those I hold dear – my friends and family
G is for my favorite color – almost any shade of green
H is for the always green, drooping Hemlock tree
I is for this island - there’s no place I’d rather be
J is for the job I love – the perfect job for me
K is for the kippered fish we put up every year
L is for the many lakes with water crisp and clear
M is for majestic mountains visible all around
N is for the native art seen throughout the town
O is for the ocean that surrounds our island home
P is for the beach front property I’m so proud to own
Q is for the Quonset huts left behind from World War II
R is for the rain that falls the whole winter through
S is for the salmon that are jumping in the bay
T is for the totem poles I walk by everyday
U is for the unbelievable sunsets often viewed
V is for the venison – roasted, jarred, or stewed
W is for winter – my favorite time of year
X is for the eXceptional scenery that’s so abundant here
Y is for my Yaya – the hero of my life
Z is for my Ziish – who was my Yaya’s wife
Friday, August 20, 2004
The Pit
Oh my goodness! What a day I had today! I had to cover for the superintendent’s secretary today because she couldn’t make it to work. Sounds easy, right? Just answer the phone, type a few memos. OH MY GOODNESS! It was far from easy! The superintendent is the worst procrastinator around! I had this list of tasks to do when I arrived at 8AM. There were two stacks of envelopes that had little sticky notes on them. They both said, “There will be a letter included…ask for them.” So I did. I asked the super for the letters to be included with both stacks. AT 8AM. An hour later, he comes out of his office with a letter for me to type. It had nothing to do with the envelopes…it was something completely different. No biggie, I just made new envelopes for the new letters. Then I once again reminded him I needed the other letters.
He said, “Okay, I’ll get right on that. Thanks for reminding me.”
So then the mail arrives. I not only sort the mail by building (Thank goodness we only have 3 buildings.) but I have to open all of the envelopes for the super because that’s what his secretary does. Then he comes out and tells me the desk is a mess.
I said, “I know, but I’m almost done sorting and it will be clean again. Do you have letters for me to type?”
“Oh yeah”, he says. “I’ll get right on that.”
I get a few phone calls…send a few faxes…learn to use the postage meter. Then it’s lunch time.
I return from lunch he says, “I’m going to take my lunch now. Do you have enough to do?”
I said, “That depends, have you written the letters?”
“Oh yeah, thanks for the reminder. I’ll do that as soon as I get back.”
Aaarrrggghhh! All he needed to do was thank a few people for applying and congratulate the others for getting hired. I reminded him again as soon as he returned from his lunch. I had to make about 30 packets that were about 40 pages each. It took me an hour just to do one because the machine kept jamming up. Finally, the elementary secretary came to pick up the mail for her building. The super asked her if she would please make the copies on their machine. She agreed and for that I’m eternally grateful. The thing is, it took forever even on her machine. He made a last addition so I had to wait until I got them back to add the last page. I was supposed to leave at 4PM but the packets didn’t come back until 4:40.
Meanwhile, I get the “I’m sorry we didn’t hire you” letter and get that typed up and ready to mail. Now it’s 4PM. The phone rings. It’s one of the applicants and she wants to know if she got hired.
I hear the super tell her “Yes, congratulations! You’ll be getting a letter in the mail that tells you about our breakfast Monday morning and more information about your position.”
He said more, but that’s the part that stuck out in my mind. I wait for him to hang up and then go into his office.
“You know what? Applicant A isn’t going to get anything in her mail box just yet because I’ve been asking your for the letter since 8AM so I could stuff her envelope and you haven’t given it to me yet.”
“Oh, I didn’t? Thanks for reminding me. I’ll do that right now.”
So I sat down…right there in his office and waited until he wrote it. It took me 2 minutes to type it up, if that. Another 2 to get it in the envelope and run through the postage meter. When the elementary secretary finally showed up, we put the packets together and left at 4:50.
On our way out the door, he says, “Thanks ladies, everyone gets a 10 minute bonus today. I’ll mark your cards for 5:00.” (Funny thing is, when we punch out past 45 minutes after the hour, we get the whole hour, anyway.)
Gee, thanks, Mr. Super. An extra 10 minutes on my paycheck. Hahaha I’m just glad the day is finally over. I have new respect for his secretary. If he’s like this every day, she’s a saint for putting up with him.
The elementary secretary gave me a ride home and on the way she said, “I’ve subbed in that office before. I call it The Pit.”
Thanks for the warning!
He said, “Okay, I’ll get right on that. Thanks for reminding me.”
So then the mail arrives. I not only sort the mail by building (Thank goodness we only have 3 buildings.) but I have to open all of the envelopes for the super because that’s what his secretary does. Then he comes out and tells me the desk is a mess.
I said, “I know, but I’m almost done sorting and it will be clean again. Do you have letters for me to type?”
“Oh yeah”, he says. “I’ll get right on that.”
I get a few phone calls…send a few faxes…learn to use the postage meter. Then it’s lunch time.
I return from lunch he says, “I’m going to take my lunch now. Do you have enough to do?”
I said, “That depends, have you written the letters?”
“Oh yeah, thanks for the reminder. I’ll do that as soon as I get back.”
Aaarrrggghhh! All he needed to do was thank a few people for applying and congratulate the others for getting hired. I reminded him again as soon as he returned from his lunch. I had to make about 30 packets that were about 40 pages each. It took me an hour just to do one because the machine kept jamming up. Finally, the elementary secretary came to pick up the mail for her building. The super asked her if she would please make the copies on their machine. She agreed and for that I’m eternally grateful. The thing is, it took forever even on her machine. He made a last addition so I had to wait until I got them back to add the last page. I was supposed to leave at 4PM but the packets didn’t come back until 4:40.
Meanwhile, I get the “I’m sorry we didn’t hire you” letter and get that typed up and ready to mail. Now it’s 4PM. The phone rings. It’s one of the applicants and she wants to know if she got hired.
I hear the super tell her “Yes, congratulations! You’ll be getting a letter in the mail that tells you about our breakfast Monday morning and more information about your position.”
He said more, but that’s the part that stuck out in my mind. I wait for him to hang up and then go into his office.
“You know what? Applicant A isn’t going to get anything in her mail box just yet because I’ve been asking your for the letter since 8AM so I could stuff her envelope and you haven’t given it to me yet.”
“Oh, I didn’t? Thanks for reminding me. I’ll do that right now.”
So I sat down…right there in his office and waited until he wrote it. It took me 2 minutes to type it up, if that. Another 2 to get it in the envelope and run through the postage meter. When the elementary secretary finally showed up, we put the packets together and left at 4:50.
On our way out the door, he says, “Thanks ladies, everyone gets a 10 minute bonus today. I’ll mark your cards for 5:00.” (Funny thing is, when we punch out past 45 minutes after the hour, we get the whole hour, anyway.)
Gee, thanks, Mr. Super. An extra 10 minutes on my paycheck. Hahaha I’m just glad the day is finally over. I have new respect for his secretary. If he’s like this every day, she’s a saint for putting up with him.
The elementary secretary gave me a ride home and on the way she said, “I’ve subbed in that office before. I call it The Pit.”
Thanks for the warning!
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
The Big Picture
I think when dealing with life, we need to remember to step back and look at the whole picture. When we focus on one event or circumstance, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Life is like a puzzle. When you look at each individual piece, it may not be pleasing to the eye, but when they are all put together you end up with a masterpiece.
I received an e-mail once with a story along the same lines. I’ll try to remember it…
It was about a teenage girl and her mother. The girl came to her mom one day and was complaining about life. School was hard, she had a fight with her boyfriend…she listed all of her teen-age “tragedies” one by one. Her mother listened and then suggested they bake a cake. This, of course, excites the daughter so off to the kitchen they go.
“Here, have some vegetable oil.”
“Mom, that’s gross!”
”Okay, then. How about some raw eggs?”
“Raw Eggs? Ewww!”
“Have some flour, then.”
“Mom, don’t be disgusting.”
“You’re not looking at these ingredients in the right way. I know that if you just think about one at a time they are not very appetizing. But when you put these all together in the right way, you can make a very delicious cake.”
I received an e-mail once with a story along the same lines. I’ll try to remember it…
It was about a teenage girl and her mother. The girl came to her mom one day and was complaining about life. School was hard, she had a fight with her boyfriend…she listed all of her teen-age “tragedies” one by one. Her mother listened and then suggested they bake a cake. This, of course, excites the daughter so off to the kitchen they go.
“Here, have some vegetable oil.”
“Mom, that’s gross!”
”Okay, then. How about some raw eggs?”
“Raw Eggs? Ewww!”
“Have some flour, then.”
“Mom, don’t be disgusting.”
“You’re not looking at these ingredients in the right way. I know that if you just think about one at a time they are not very appetizing. But when you put these all together in the right way, you can make a very delicious cake.”
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
2nd Day of Work
Today was my second day of work. I put in 7 hours. Not quite a full day, but pretty close. When school starts, I should average about 7.5 hours a day. The building is so quiet because the classroom teachers aren't back yet. They don't start till Monday. School for the kids starts on the 26th...a Thursday. That's the first time we've started so late in the week. I'm not sure what the reasoning is, but I'm sure I'll appreciate it when it comes time to deal with the kids. :o) They're always so hyper at the beginning of the year.
I've been watching a lot of the Olympics. It's amazing how things never go as expected. There is so much expected of these athletes. It's quite an accomplishment to get this far. People tend to forget that when the athletes don't win or place as high as we think they should. Take Phelps, for example. He is in 8 different events. There were some who expected him to win 8 gold medals. When he got a bronze, the interviewer asked him if he was disappointed. He said, "My goal was one gold. I got that, the rest is just icing on the cake. The rest is for fun." That's what the games should be all about. Too many times the commentators nit pick and point out all of the bad things. What about all the hard work and dedication it took to get there? A lot of these athletes are kids and young adults. They've already accomplished more than most of us just by getting there. Lets not focus on the controversy, but celebrate the fact that these people have dedicated their lives to a goal and are reaching for their dreams.
I've been watching a lot of the Olympics. It's amazing how things never go as expected. There is so much expected of these athletes. It's quite an accomplishment to get this far. People tend to forget that when the athletes don't win or place as high as we think they should. Take Phelps, for example. He is in 8 different events. There were some who expected him to win 8 gold medals. When he got a bronze, the interviewer asked him if he was disappointed. He said, "My goal was one gold. I got that, the rest is just icing on the cake. The rest is for fun." That's what the games should be all about. Too many times the commentators nit pick and point out all of the bad things. What about all the hard work and dedication it took to get there? A lot of these athletes are kids and young adults. They've already accomplished more than most of us just by getting there. Lets not focus on the controversy, but celebrate the fact that these people have dedicated their lives to a goal and are reaching for their dreams.
Monday, August 16, 2004
Must Think Positive
Okay, I’ve had enough. I spent the better part of a week feeling sad, gloomy, and defeated. I MUST get myself out of this downward spiral immediately! With school starting next week, I want to be able to focus on the children. I can’t do that if I can’t see my life for what it really is. I truly am blessed. I’ve got friends, family, and possessions. I am going to start thinking positively starting right now. I truly believe that whether it's praise, love, criticism, time, power, punishment, space, sorrow, laughter, need, pain, or pleasure... the more of it that you give, the more of it you will receive.
Stereo-Typing or Prejudice?
Either way, its irritating. Maybe I'm just overly-sensitive lately, but I was in a chat room tonight and after mentioning I was from Alaska, someone went on and on about a recent visit to this state. She's from Texas and said that she had spent an entire month visiting family on a military base near Anchorage and had seen many things she had never seen before. Thinking she meant moose and bears, I asked her what she had seen.
She said, "Well, first we went to Subway and saw a native eating out of a trash dumpster. Then he went and lay down behind it and went to sleep in broad daylight." She went on to say that she saw a native holding a sign on the side of the road begging for a rich man. She went on further to complain that she went to Wal-Mart and couldn't understand the natives who were working there. There was another lady in the room who lives in Anchorage and she said, "Most of the people working at the Wal-Mart are Filipino." So the Texas lady said, "Yeah, I saw a lot of them, too." She also said it was odd that there was a hospital there that only natives could go to.
That part is true, but the way she referred to it was shocking to me. If it weren't for this hospital, many natives would not have any kind of health care. A lot of villages are small and many natives live a subsistance lifestyle. This does not allow for a huge income to use for paying for medical insurance or for any type of medical or dental care. But I digress.
Why is it, that everything she found negative during her visit involved "natives"? I happen to be a native Alaskan and, although I knew she wasn't talking about me directly, it really irked me how she spoke so negative about natives. She put us all together in one big lump like we are all homeless and unable to speak proper English. She's probably telling this to all of her acquaintences which only irritates me more to think about it.
Maybe I'm just too sensitive right now. I know it was just a chat room...it was a person I've never met and never will...but it irked me nonetheless. Being in such an emotional state these past few days, maybe it's better I stay out of chat rooms. Good idea...now I must get some sleep. Only one more week until school starts. I have to get out of the habit of staying up so late. Starting tomorrow, of course.
She said, "Well, first we went to Subway and saw a native eating out of a trash dumpster. Then he went and lay down behind it and went to sleep in broad daylight." She went on to say that she saw a native holding a sign on the side of the road begging for a rich man. She went on further to complain that she went to Wal-Mart and couldn't understand the natives who were working there. There was another lady in the room who lives in Anchorage and she said, "Most of the people working at the Wal-Mart are Filipino." So the Texas lady said, "Yeah, I saw a lot of them, too." She also said it was odd that there was a hospital there that only natives could go to.
That part is true, but the way she referred to it was shocking to me. If it weren't for this hospital, many natives would not have any kind of health care. A lot of villages are small and many natives live a subsistance lifestyle. This does not allow for a huge income to use for paying for medical insurance or for any type of medical or dental care. But I digress.
Why is it, that everything she found negative during her visit involved "natives"? I happen to be a native Alaskan and, although I knew she wasn't talking about me directly, it really irked me how she spoke so negative about natives. She put us all together in one big lump like we are all homeless and unable to speak proper English. She's probably telling this to all of her acquaintences which only irritates me more to think about it.
Maybe I'm just too sensitive right now. I know it was just a chat room...it was a person I've never met and never will...but it irked me nonetheless. Being in such an emotional state these past few days, maybe it's better I stay out of chat rooms. Good idea...now I must get some sleep. Only one more week until school starts. I have to get out of the habit of staying up so late. Starting tomorrow, of course.
Friday, August 13, 2004
Life Goes On...
I'm disappointed and feeling guilty about not taking the children, but am trying to find a way to move on. Dwelling on them will not help me or them...and I'm liable to give myself an ulcer if I don't let it go.
Lastnight I was watching out my window as I was on the computer. I noticed that there was a group of about 5 kids on bikes. They were playing some kind of game on their bikes...sort of like tag, I guess. They were circling my block and yelling tips to each other. Then it went quiet. Two of them, both boys, tried to "catch" the others by tricking them into believeing they were hurt. Right at the corner of my yard, they jumped off their bikes and one told the other, "Lay down so they think we're hurt." Boy #1 tried to lay in my grass and boy #2 said, "No, not there! If we crashed, we wouldn't have fallen that way." So they're both on the pavement and they start rolling around and moaning. They did this for about 2 minutes and nobody came along. They sat up, looked around, and went back to rolling on the ground. After another minute or so, a car pulled over to see if they were alright. "We're fine," they say...pick themselves up, gather their bicycles and off they go. It was cute to watch...maybe not so amusing the way I typed it. Oh well. Time to watch the Opening Ceremonies now.
Lastnight I was watching out my window as I was on the computer. I noticed that there was a group of about 5 kids on bikes. They were playing some kind of game on their bikes...sort of like tag, I guess. They were circling my block and yelling tips to each other. Then it went quiet. Two of them, both boys, tried to "catch" the others by tricking them into believeing they were hurt. Right at the corner of my yard, they jumped off their bikes and one told the other, "Lay down so they think we're hurt." Boy #1 tried to lay in my grass and boy #2 said, "No, not there! If we crashed, we wouldn't have fallen that way." So they're both on the pavement and they start rolling around and moaning. They did this for about 2 minutes and nobody came along. They sat up, looked around, and went back to rolling on the ground. After another minute or so, a car pulled over to see if they were alright. "We're fine," they say...pick themselves up, gather their bicycles and off they go. It was cute to watch...maybe not so amusing the way I typed it. Oh well. Time to watch the Opening Ceremonies now.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Soul Searching, Heartache, and Guilt
Since I received the letter from Social Services, I have been doing a lot, and I mean A LOT of soul searching. I've been trying to think about this situation from all angles. From an emotional angle, of course I want these kids. They're family and they need a home. I would be able to give them so much love...all that they deserve and so much more. From a logical and rational angle, it would not be easy. Financially, I suppose we're stable enough. But the house we are in at the moment is my mothers. Should she decide she wants to move home, we'd have to move out. No bid deal when it's just the two of us. But with kids it would be an entirely different story. Add that to the fact that my husband is not too thrilled with the "instant family" idea, I think it best we don't take them. I don't want to force my husband into something he is not ready for. I am trying to convince myself that he's not ready for ANY kids and that we'd reach the same decision had the children been his relatives and not mine. I don't know that that's true, but for my own sanity, that's what I choose to believe. I cried myself to sleep lastnight. It hurts so much to know that these innocent children need a home and I can't give them one. That letter has changed my life. Not because I'm going to be a mother...but because I'm not. I'm now broken-hearted and riddled with guilt. What will become of them now? Who will care for them? How will their lives turn out? Are they going to be okay? Now I will always wonder and I pray to God I have made the right decision.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
BIG Decision
I got a possibly life-changing letter in the mail today. It’s from Social Services. A cousin of mine, who lives in another state, has some kids in foster care. I guess they’ve been in the system too long so they’re looking for a permanent home. Social Services wrote us to ask if we want to take the children and work towards permanent placement. In essence, they want to know if we want to become the parents to my cousin’s children. I don’t know these children. They’ve lived away from here since they were born. But the thing is, I had seen a sign posted about "two children in emergency need of a permanent home" on Monday. When I first saw the notice about the children, my heart broke. I was thinking of two helpless children out there somewhere with a mother who couldn’t care for them. I wanted to be able to help. I wanted to love them, to make them feel safe. I mentioned them to my husband and he didn’t have much of a reaction. We don’t have children of our own, and I assumed from his reaction that he wasn’t ready to take these two. Then the letter came. I was at work when the letter arrived. My husband read it first and gave it to me when I returned home. It had been a few days since I had first heard about the kids and I had begun to push them to the back of my mind. I had come to the conclusion that now was not the time. Someone else would have to help those kids. The letter changed it all. Before, it was easier to say no. I was not connected to them in anyway. Now I know they are. Their blood is my blood. How do I turn them away? How do I make a place for them in my life? My stomach is in knots…I’m close to tears. I’m so confused. There are two of them; a 7 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. The boy happens to be named after my father. Social Services said that they would like to place them with family and I have to decide one way or the other by the end of the week because school starts soon. How can I make such a huge decision in 2 days? Those poor kids…my heart breaks for them…but can I really do this? I don’t know. I just don’t know.
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
WORK?!?
Ugh...I just got a call from the school. I have to go in to work tomorrow morning at 10AM. True, that's not exactly early, but it's my first day back and about a week and a half earlier then I excpected. Teachers have not even gone back yet, but here I go. *sigh*
What really gets me is the reason I'm going in. I have to show the tech coordinator how to log into the computers. How backwards is that? Isn't that what HE'S paid for? Oh well...such is life, I guess. Summer's over and the nose is back to the old grindstone.
What really gets me is the reason I'm going in. I have to show the tech coordinator how to log into the computers. How backwards is that? Isn't that what HE'S paid for? Oh well...such is life, I guess. Summer's over and the nose is back to the old grindstone.
Monday, August 09, 2004
I got my first comment yesterday. When I first saw it, I thought I was seeing things. I was shocked to realize I wasn't hallucinating. When the shock subsided, I was a mix of emotions. Excited that someone actually read what I typed...embarrassed that someone actually read what I typed...humbled because they not only read what I typed, but responded!
I am not a very out-going person. I am not good at initiating contact or starting conversation. I will not turn away from someone who does, but I am never the one to break the ice. I do, however, think that it's important to acknowledge the presence of others. As I encounter people each day, I always let them know I see them. I'll wave at a passing car and smile or say hello as we pass in the grocery store aisle. At work, I make sure I always greet the children by name. Some of their faces just light up when they hear you say, "Good Morning, Sam!" with a smile on your face as they're speed walking down the hall trying to beat the school bell.
So, LemonCat, whoever you are and wherever you may be, I say to you in my best Eeyore voice, "Thanks for noticing me."
I am not a very out-going person. I am not good at initiating contact or starting conversation. I will not turn away from someone who does, but I am never the one to break the ice. I do, however, think that it's important to acknowledge the presence of others. As I encounter people each day, I always let them know I see them. I'll wave at a passing car and smile or say hello as we pass in the grocery store aisle. At work, I make sure I always greet the children by name. Some of their faces just light up when they hear you say, "Good Morning, Sam!" with a smile on your face as they're speed walking down the hall trying to beat the school bell.
So, LemonCat, whoever you are and wherever you may be, I say to you in my best Eeyore voice, "Thanks for noticing me."
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