BIG Decision

I got a possibly life-changing letter in the mail today. It’s from Social Services. A cousin of mine, who lives in another state, has some kids in foster care. I guess they’ve been in the system too long so they’re looking for a permanent home. Social Services wrote us to ask if we want to take the children and work towards permanent placement. In essence, they want to know if we want to become the parents to my cousin’s children. I don’t know these children. They’ve lived away from here since they were born. But the thing is, I had seen a sign posted about "two children in emergency need of a permanent home" on Monday. When I first saw the notice about the children, my heart broke. I was thinking of two helpless children out there somewhere with a mother who couldn’t care for them. I wanted to be able to help. I wanted to love them, to make them feel safe. I mentioned them to my husband and he didn’t have much of a reaction. We don’t have children of our own, and I assumed from his reaction that he wasn’t ready to take these two. Then the letter came. I was at work when the letter arrived. My husband read it first and gave it to me when I returned home. It had been a few days since I had first heard about the kids and I had begun to push them to the back of my mind. I had come to the conclusion that now was not the time. Someone else would have to help those kids. The letter changed it all. Before, it was easier to say no. I was not connected to them in anyway. Now I know they are. Their blood is my blood. How do I turn them away? How do I make a place for them in my life? My stomach is in knots…I’m close to tears. I’m so confused. There are two of them; a 7 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. The boy happens to be named after my father. Social Services said that they would like to place them with family and I have to decide one way or the other by the end of the week because school starts soon. How can I make such a huge decision in 2 days? Those poor kids…my heart breaks for them…but can I really do this? I don’t know. I just don’t know.