Does it Feel Like it?

Today is our 12th wedding anniversary. The Presbyterian church puts out a calendar every year. They list the birthdays and anniversaries of our community members and then sell them for about $4.00 each. Yesterday at work, I was approached by 3 different co-workers. They all had the same comment and question.

"Congratulations on your anniversary. How many years?"

I told them it's been 12 and they all asked, "Does it feel like it?"

Huh? Does it feel like it? I didn't know how to answer that the first time it was asked. I was taken aback at first, and can't even remember what my answer was. It got me thinking, though. Now that I've had the time to think, if asked again I'd have to say, "Yes and no." Not a definitive answer, I know. But the only true answer.

I'd have to say yes because when I think about our life together, it does feel like a really long time. Not because I've been miserable and unhappy. But because I can't remember my life before marriage. I mean, I have memories, sure, but they're just pieces of who I once was. I have no memory of what it was like to be alone. My husband is so much a part of me now, it's like we were always together. Everything that is important to me now has to do with my husband. Everything worth remembering now involves my husband. I'm not the person I was before we married. The second we said, "I do," I became a new person. I started a new life. A life with my husband. So, yes, it does feel like its been 12 years. Because the person I am now, didn't exist until August 28, 1992.

On the other hand, when I don't focus on the calendar, it doesn't feel like 12 years. I can't believe it's been that long. People I grew up with are divorcing, having affairs, or separating. My husband and I have never separated. I've never gotten so upset with him that I would even want to sleep in a separate room. I hear female friends of mine complain about needing a break. On more than one occassion I've heard, "I want to get away for a while. I need a break from my husband." I can't imagine feeling that way. So I guess, in that sense, it doesn't feel like a long time because we aren't tired of each other. We aren't bored with each other. We've had our arguments, but nothing so drastic that we would even think of living a single day away from each other. We are not totally dependent on each other, but don't feel the need to be apart.

I don't know if all that makes sense. But if I'm asked again to answer that question, that's the best I can do.