I can't stop crying today. Jocko's memorial service was today. I couldn't bring myself to go. I feel guilty about that, but I just couldn't. I got dressed, opened the door, but couldn't do it.
Granted, I wasn't as close to him as I was when he was small, but it just hurt too much to lose him. Especially in the manner we did.
He was such a happy child. Always active, always finding trouble. He definitely kept me on my toes. He and his sister used to fight over my lap. The sister usually won because she was older and faster, but he got his share of love from me. Putting him to bed at night was hard because he'd make me read to him. He always had a stack of books hidden under his covers so that when I finished one, there'd be another.
The last time I babysat him he was about 10 years old. He was picking on his younger sister so I sent him to his bedroom. He climbed out his window and ran away. He didn't even have shoes on. The next door neighbor had to go after him because I couldn't leave the girls home alone and I didn't have time to get them ready to go out.
As I sat listening to the church chimes today, I felt compelled to write. After about 10 minutes, and a lot of tears, this is the result. You'll have to click it to get it bigger because I couldn't bring myself to type it out.
4 comments:
*hugs*
I hope my grandfather isn't giving him too much grief.. if they meet up there. :-)
Oh Kerri. OMG.
That is so beautiful and heartfelt and so moving.
He was a handsome young fellow, and surely his loved ones will miss him dearly.
Thank you for sharing such a personal thing today.
**hugs**
(((((Kerrie)))) sorry to hear about your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm sorry you are hurting.
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