Not So Bad

The school day felt a little long today but not as bad as I thought it would. I'm moving a little slow, but I'm not totally drained and don't feel sleepy yet. That's good. Otherwise, I might be tempted to nap and then I'd be in the same predicament tomorrow.

There is a family potluck over at my in-laws today. I'm not going. It's starting right now and my dinner isn't finished cooking. (I planned it that way, but they don't know that.) My nephew has been in the Merchant Marines since September. He's home for a couple weeks so they're having a get together. Michael doesn't get home until almost 7PM so I purposely got a slow start on dinner. I don't like going to family dinners alone and after almost 13 years of being a part of this family, I sometimes still end up feeling alone.

Maybe I do it to myself. I'm almost sure I do. Slowly work my way towards the corner of the room hoping not to be noticed. It's a self-defense mechanism. They remember everything, especially if they know it embarrasses you. Then when you least expect it, they bring it up again and have a big laugh at your expense. There is nothing I hate more than being put in the spotlight.

Rather than suffer through the dinner wondering if/when my time will come, I'll cook us our own dinner. We'll eat together in peace and then go and visit the nephew. Who, by the way, could pass for Michael's son. Same mannerisms and everything.

Back to the kitchen I go.