Tournament

Lucione and Alexys participated, along with their high school basketball team, in a tournament in Town this week. After losing their first game against a much bigger school from out of state, they came back to win their second and third games. Their third game was against a team that had defeated them twice earlier in the month so it should be a huge boost to their confidence. Our team averages about 7 players a game due to low grades and/or injuries of the other players. They ended the tournament in 4th place! I wasn't there to see it, but listened on the radio and had I not been in a moving vehicle, would have jumped out of my seat many, many times. The game was THAT exciting. Our team was behind by 9 at half time. That increased to 13 before they managed to pull up within striking distance. They pulled within 2, fell back a bit, tied it up, fell behind by 1, tied it up, pulled ahead, were tied up again...I'm telling you...it went right down to the buzzer. With 1.4 seconds on the clock we were fouled...made one shot to break the tie and pull ahead to win. I'm so proud of them. Our girls team has never placed any better than 6th in that tournament.

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Please, continue to pray for my friend. I'm encouraged that her intial surgery and the following angiogram went well, but she is still sleeping and has a ways to go. Her head is still open to allow for swelling of her brain. Please pray that she continue to heal. Pray that God guide the doctors to find and fix any other problems she may have in her brain so that she can continue to heal. Pray that God grants her family comfort and strength. Thank you.

Please, Please, PLEASE Pray For My Friend

A very dear friend of mine is in need of prayer. Her son called me yesterday to tell me she had collapsed and was in the hospital on a ventilator. I just received word from one of her daughters that she was medi-vacced to Seattle last night. She required emergency surgery due to swelling/bleeding in her brain. Please lift her and her family up in prayer. Pray for healing. Pray that God give her family strength and comfort during this most difficult time.

Our Christmas

We had a really nice Christmas. I didn't bake cookies because of time constraints (and my last 2 hours of work kinda helped to ruin the mood) but Michael got his bread done so everyone was happy. :o)

I was so tickled at his reaction to all of his gifts. I did well this year. :o) He did, too. I received a GREEN iPod Nano and an electric keyboard. I haven't attempted to play piano or keyboard in years. I have already semi-mastered 3 Christmas carols. :o)

After planning to be alone, we got roped into attending a big dinner on Christmas. We had a prime rib roasting in the oven when Michael's mother called. She said, "You know, Dad would REALLY like the whole family to be here for Christmas." Michael can't ever say no to his mother so we ate early and went and visited with them while they ate their meal. Turned out to be a nice visit for the most part. I won't go into the parts that weren't so nice, as I've just had lunch and would like to keep it down. :o)

The day after Christmas we had another big family gathering for my niece Marie. She's in Town right now watching Lucione play in a basketball tournament and then she's headed north to attend Job Corp in Palmer.

I'm glad the big parties are over with. Now I can just enjoy my time off. I still have an entire week!

I need to VENT

Tomorrow is supposed to be our last day of school until January 8th. I walked out the door at 10AM this morning and do not plan on going back until January. I didn't ask permission to leave. I don't know if I'm in trouble. But I couldn't stay. Let me explain...

Part of my job this year is to maintain the library with another person. Neither one of us has been trained as a librarian but our district won't pay for a licensed librarian so we were just sorta put in there.

This is my 2nd year (though not consecutively) in the library and I've learned my way around. I've learned the software so I can check books in and out as well as catalog new books and create barcode labels to scan both the borrower and the book they have chosen.

Lately, we've been having trouble with over-due books. Kids take them home and leave them there...teachers check them out for research and fail to return them in a timely manner. We've got an over-due list with around 65 items listed. In a school of 150 kids, that's a big number.

Sometimes, the kids return the books when we are not in the library so they get re-shelved without being properly checked in. For this reason, we decided not to have library classes this week. We were going to take the opportunity to get the shelves organized and make sure that all of the books that are over-due are actually checked out and not sitting on the shelves.

We put a notice in the bulletin LAST WEEK. Today, the 3rd grade teacher (Mrs. B) brought her class to the library. I was finishing up a computer class and the other lady was in a meeting with the principal. Mrs. B went to the office and asked why we weren't in the library. The secretary told her, "It's been in the bulletin for a week and a half...there is no library class this week."

The teacher went back to the library and started reading a book to her kids. Not knowing they were there, I walked through on my way to the office. I was going to tell the secretary where she could find me if she needed me. Half way through, the teacher said, "I guess it's been in the bulletin that there's no library this week?" I told her it had been. One of her students spoke up and said, "Well, we do get out tomorrow." Mrs. B said, "I know but I CHOSE TO WORK TODAY."

That really stung. I bit my tongue, went to the secretary and told her what happened. She agreed that regardless of how Mrs. B felt, she should not have made a comment like that in front of her kids. I felt as if she was insinuating I was slacking off...like I closed the library just to take a break. She's part of the problem...she's got 10 books checked out in her name...8 of them are over-due.

I told the secretary I was going to go into the library to do what I needed to do...that I would NOT be checking her books in or allowing her to check out any new ones. She said that was only fair since it had been in the bulletin for so long.

On my way in, I met the other lady who works in the library. She said, "Now this is what all the teachers should be doing. Reading to their own kids." I said, "Yeah, but I don't think she's doing it because she wants to. She's being stubborn about her library time because she failed to see the notice about no classes this week." I told her about Mrs. B's comment and she turned around and went and told the principal.

I sat at my desk to barcode some books and Mrs. B instructed one of her students to turn the light off. I can't figure out why she wanted to read in the dark, but it made it impossible for me to do my work. I couldn't see the books I needed to enter. I got up and went back to the secretary.

She knows me well enough to know when I'm upset. She asked what was wrong. I told her how Mrs. B had turned off the lights. She asked if I said anything. I said, "No. She knew I was there...and I have enough respect for her that I'm not going to exchange words in front of her students."

Just then, the principal came out of his office. The secretary told him about the lights. He didn't even stop walking. He just looked at me and said, "Just keep smiling, let it go and move on." He walked right out the door before I could say anything.

I looked at the secretary and said, "Keep smiling? Do I look like I'm smiling? I can't "keep" doing something I wasnt' doing to begin with." I got up and walked out.

I had a computer class from 9:30 to 10:00. It was about 9:25. I sat at my desk trying to remain calm but it was hard not to cry. I tried to compose myself while the kids were there, and did for the most part, but they knew something was up. Little kids are very perceptive.

I just couldn't get past his words. "Let it go and move on." Easier said than done. First the teacher insulted me in front of her kids and then the principal acted as if my feelings don't matter. Like I'm not deserving of a little respect. Like HE doesn't care about the rest of us as long as HE doesn't have to deal with anything.

I don't think the teacher should have gotten away with treating me like that. I don't think I should have to just "move on". Had I said the same sort of comment to her, you can bet she'd be screaming and hollering till something was done about it.

Once my computer class was over, I shut down my computer and put on my coat. The other library lady tried to talk to me but I was too close to tears. I wouldn't stop. She said she told the principal about "the incident" and asked if he had talked to me. I said, "No. He doesn't care. I'm going home." Just then the secretary came running out of her office and I said, "Bye. I'm going home. See you in January."

I haven't called her to see if the principal even reacted to my leaving. I almost hope he fired me.

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas

At least inside my house. :o) Although, we do have some snow on the ground. We had quite a snowfall yesterday. We ended up with over a foot before it finally stopped. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I LOVE winter! The snow was so beautiful. I love watching it snow. I tired really hard to convince the principal to declare a snow day and send us home, but he wouldn't budge. :o)

My shopping is almost done. We're going to Town next weekend. I hope to finish up then. Once that's done, all that's left is the baking. I'm still wondering how we'll manage. Michael's part should be easy. The plan is, for him to work for 2 more weeks. It looks like the weather will shut them down. So he'll have an entire week before I get my Christmas Break to finish up his bread. If he bakes on Wednesday and Thursday, then I can start on Friday and hopefully be done by Saturday evening. If I bake around the clock, maybe. haha

I can't believe Christmas is almost here already! Tomorrow's the 1st of December! Where has the time gone? The 22nd is the last day of our semester. That's crazy. We're colder than normal this year so I've been battling illness after illness. I've quit staying home when I feel sick because I was spending more time in bed than at work.

I hope the rest of you (if anyone's still reading) are happy, well, and ready for Christmas! I hope to catch up on your blogs soon. BUT I have to decorate my tree first! :o)

A Change of Tide

Boy, what a day we had on Saturday! Michael and I went to Town to spend some time with Theodore (his birthday is coming up), get the rest of our "fixings" for Thanksgiving, check on the status of our TV, and get my Christmas Bears from Wal-Mart.

So many things kept happening and we managed to stay just ahead of it all. We were so lucky all day long!

First, we picked up Theodore and took him to Wal-Mart to choose his birthday gift. We had a smooth, steady ride all the way out there. He was quicker than expected so we decided to buy him lunch. Of course he picked McDonalds. He said, "Aunty, I can eat a whole Big Mac!" We brought him there, bought him the Big Mac meal, and sure enough...he ate the whole thing. Burger, fries, AND a medium root beer! On the way in from Wal-Mart, we noticed the traffic going the other way was almost at a stand-still. We were lucky enough to be on the side NOT blocked by construction work on the way out and on the way back.

We had to run a few errands and ended up picking up a friend who wanted to go to Wal-Mart. So, we dropped Theodore off and went back out to Wal-Mart. Again...no traffic troubles. We were in Wal-Mart for the better part of an hour. We finally finish up, head to the car and as we're leaving the parking lot the power went out. We left JUST in time!

We dropped our friend off at the restaraunt near the ferry terminal (still no traffic troubles) and headed to Safeway. When we got to the intersection, the lights were still off. We turned into the parking lot, parked, and the mall lights came on. PERFECT timing!

I don't know how many times we'd pull off the main road only to see a fire engine go by. I think it was at least 3 times. We never did have to pull over and let them pass. The timing was just right for us that day.

Things have never gone so well over there for us. Usually we're stressed about time. But not today. Even the weather was on our side. We had a pleasant ride over. Once we got there, it rained pretty hard and got rather windy. It calmed down before we loaded the ferry and didn't get stormy again until after we were home. I don't know what it was. But we definitely had luck on OUR side!

I Am Having the Worst Luck!

My ISP has been ringing busy for over a week now! I can connect, but it takes a LONG TIME. I set my dialer to re-dial 215 times when the line is busy. There have been many times that I've had to start over because I reached the limit and still hadn't connected. It's SO frustrating.

I'm also getting frustrated by the weather. I want it to get cold. I want it to get really cold. We're stuck in the 30's and it's raining. :o(

I'm irritated with the TV repair people. They finally let us take our TV in to be repaired and then they went on a 2 week workshop! They get back tomorrow. Hopefully, they finished the TV before they left, or will have it fixed by the 18th. That's the date of our next trip over and it would be good to bring the TV back with us. I don't watch a lot of TV, but I'm still irritated.

I hate that this has all been negative...but that's my life lately. At least I've stopped sneezing and haven't had a fever in days!

NO Time

I feel like the White Rabbit. Constantly late...sometimes not even arriving at my destination.

I've been fighting cold after cold. Most recently, a mild flu. Tonight was my first time out of the house since Tuesday afternoon because it was my first day without a fever.

I have been having problems getting online. I'm still on dial-up and my internet provider has been ringing busy for day. When I do manage to get online, I don't stay on very long because I'm on the main phone line at the moment and don't want to tie up the line.

What little time I do find online is monopolized by my mother. She's either got a million questions about a million different things or wants me to play a game with her. I'm lucky to keep up with e-mail. I can't ever find time to chat with anyone else or type a post.

The weather around here has been so nice. Mid 30's to low 40's...clear, sunny skies...slight, cool breezes. I love this kind of weather. Only way it could be better is to be colder...with a snowflake or two. :o)

Long Time No See

Wow. It has been forever since I’ve set myself down to write. I visit your blogs, though…even though I haven’t been commenting.

I’ve been keeping busy on my computer doing other things and just haven’t made time to write an entry. My mom and I communicate with each other almost daily now. That’s a big change and it’s been so nice. We play on a game site together. We use Bebo together. It’s been a lot of fun. :o)

That doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten you all, though. I still think of you all often and check in on your blogs to keep up with what’s going on.

Away from the computer I’m just enjoying my husband being able to work at home this year and trying to stay healthy. I’m getting over a terrible cold that had me sleeping most of the weekend. I’m thankful that it happened when it did, because rather than missing 3 or 4 days of work, I only missed Friday and Monday.

Work has been going okay. There is one particular teacher who has been getting on my nerves but overall it’s been a good year so far. Our first quarter is almost over already! The official end of the quarter is the 27th but the kids’ last day that week will be on the 25th. We have a 2 day inservice coming up. Oh, joy! I’m still crossing my fingers I won’t have to attend.

The weather has been quite nice considering we are into Fall. We haven’t had any of our usual rain/wind storms. It’s foggy today. I don’t know why, but I’ve always loved the fog. The world around me just seems so peaceful when it’s foggy. Maybe it’s just because I can’t SEE the world around me! Haha

The kids are getting excited about Halloween. Craig won’t tell me what he’s going to be. He said it has to be a surprise. Mikayla is going to be a ghost so nobody will know who she is. I told her, “I’ll know.” She said I wouldn’t because she’d be in a sheet. I said, “I’ll know your voice.” She said, “Well, people who aren’t my aunty will NOT know who I am.”

I’m at work…I’ve babbled long enough. I’ll try to remember to write more often. I just don’t feel I have anything worth saying these days.

Busy as a Bee

I don't remember ever "feeling" this busy. Not really doing anything, but I'm doing it non-stop. Weird.

This past weekend was busy, but its not just that. Even at work, when I don't have a class, I've got this pressing feeling that I need to be doing something. When I find something to do, my mind moves on to the next task even before finishing the task at hand. I hate when I get like this.

Friday we had cake and ice cream with Lindsey for her 13th birthday. Her birthday is acutally on the 10th, but she wanted a dance and we're not allowed to have dances on Sundays so we had to do it on Friday. After cake and ice cream we went to the high school to watch Lucione and Megan play volleyball. Then we went back to the teen center for Lindsey's dance.

On Saturday we watched more volleyball. They lost all their games, but I'm so proud of them. They didn't give up, even when the score was 20 - 2. They played hard and Lucione actually got some digs and scored some points with her serve! I thought she did very well for a freshman considering we don't have junior high volleyball.

Sunday we baked bread. And by "we" I mean Michael. 28 loaves. That's a lot of bread. I helped a little, but not enough to matter.

Today I had a lot to do at work, but it was all desk work. I wasn't up running from classroom to classroom like I usually am, although I feel exhausted.

Craig's teacher shared a little story with me at the end of the day today. Craig is a complicated kid. He's extremely bright and has a quick wit. But he's easily annoyed and irritated. He doesn't handle noise very well. He's extremely competetive but hates to lose. He has a short temper at times, but has gotten better at controlling himself at school. So anyway, his teacher made a comment to him today.

She said, "Craig, you're doing great. You had a good day on Friday and another good day today. Two days in a row, I'm going to have to call home and tell Mom."

Without missing a beat, he replied, "Well, that's a first."

I Survived

My first week of work was not so bad. It went by rather slowly because we were busy with workshops and such, but everything went along as smooth as can be. Even the technical problems I usually have at the beginning of the year were not so terrible. Funny thing is, tech support is now contracted out...to a company in Juneau, hundreds of miles away. They're easier to get in touch with and respond faster than the last 3 tech guys we've had on site!

My second week of work (the student's first week back) was even better. It was so good to see the kids again! I can't even guess at how many hugs I received from them. Only thing is, along with their hugs, they shared their sniffles and sneezes.

BUT even my cold is not so bad. I have a cough and an occasinal stuffy nose, but I don't really "feel" sick. I'm so thankful for that.

There have been a lot of changes at school. My room was carpeted, as was the rest of the building. The building has been repainted inside and out, and a brand new playground has been installed. Even the network was over-hauled.

I have a long weekend this week because of Labor Day. That means that for the first time in a month, Michael actually gets a 2 day weekend. We're going to take advantage of that and spend a night in Town. It's been 2 months since we've been over there and 6 months since we've stayed over night. This time we'll actually be able to watch a movie! I don't even know what's playing, but I don't care. I just want the popcorn. hehe

That's about all I have for now. I'm off to figure out what to cook for dinner.

SO Much to Catch Up On!

Yeah, yeah, I know...I've neglected my blog. Thanks to those of you who took the time to check up no me via e-mail. :o)

I've been busy. Not all of it is worth sharing, but it has all kept me from the computer. Okay, that's not entirely true...when I do find time for the computer, I have been spending a lot of that time chatting with my mom.

But anyway, what else...

Alexys turned 15. We had a family dinner/party for her. I took the easy way out and bought her a gift certificate for an online book store. I normally prefer to shop for an actual gift, but she LOVES to read, almost more than I do. I had no idea what she has or hasn't read so figured that would be the best choice for her. She was quite happy with it. :o)

There was a basketball camp here a few weeks ago. Mikayla and Craig were involved. I'm not sure about Craig, but this was Mikayla's first time playing with a team in front of a crowd. They were so cute! They both looked scared when they were out there "warming up" but once the games started they did pretty good. We tried to get some action shots of Mikayla playing, but every time she spotted us, she'd stop playing and come walking over. haha Never mind that her dad was on the other side of the court with a big video camera...she kept coming to us!

We had our Founder's Day celebration on the 7th. The weather was yucky, but we all did our best to enjoy ourselves, anyway. There was a parade, races and contests, and food booths, just like the 4th of July. The only thing missing was fireworks. The town didn't have any money to buy some..and the weather caused almost everyone else to wait for another day. We did manage to watch a few, though, that a few brave people managed to light in the wind and rain.

We've had so many weddings this summer...and funerals. :o( We lost 2 babies this summer. I'm not sure how, but it was so sad. I hate funerals, anyway, but it's 100 times harder when it's a child.

We've got one more wedding on the 25th. One of my cousins (who I used to babysit!?!) is getting married.

I start work in a week. Kids start school on the 28th. I can't decide how I feel about that. I miss the kids, but haven't been feeling all that great lately so kinda wish for more time.

Alexys and Lucione started volleyball practice yesterday. For this entire week, they have practice from 8AM to Noon and from 1PM to 4PM. I can't believe Lucione is in high school now! And my little Lindsey is starting junior high. Gosh, I feel old.

My back has been killing me for about 2 weeks now, I guess. I'll have a good day and then the pain gets bad again. These are the times I wish I lived in the "real world". We don't have a chiropractor here and I think I need one. On good days, like today, I'm able to sit for more than a few minutes before I get too stiff and sore. But there have been too many days where sitting, standing, even lying down, were too painful to do for very long.

I have so many pictures I've wanted to share, but am not up to it at the moment. Maybe another day.

Time With Dad

I had the most excellent day today! I spent the afternoon giving my dad computer lessons. :o) He's had a computer since March but he doesn't know what to do with it. He can turn it on and play Freecell. He can log onto the internet and do a search. But that was it. He didn't even know how to turn up the volume!

He's such a good learner and so very cute! haha I had a hard time not giggling at how amazed he was at what he is now able to do. He may forget it all by tomorrow, but that's okay. At least he's trying and I told him I'll come up every day till he feels like he's learned enough.

He sent his first e-mail (to me!) and was so tickled about it. My step-mom is out of town so she has no idea that he's even trying. He sent her an e-mail at work so she'll be surprised when she comes back home. He was SO cute! He kept saying, "I want to do this right. Do I need a comma here?" hehehe

An hour and a half of explaining how to open and close windows, left and right clicking, even how to use the scroll wheel thingy on the mouse! Tomorrow we're going to review what he learned today and learn how to save Favorites in IE. haha I can't wait!

Birds, Nests, and Eggs

Michael's job is eventually going to be installing sewer pipes at a part of town that still uses septic tanks. Before they can do that, though, they have to clear the brush to make room to dig. This has let to the discovery of nests and eggs.

The first nest they found, was so high up that they didn't see it until it was too late. One of them accidentally touched the nest and the eggs inside so it was abandoned by the bird. :o( They felt so bad about it.

A few days later, they spotted another nest. This one was lower to the ground, so was easy to see. Even I could see it with no problem, without even getting out of the truck! I did, though, because I was curious. Without touching, I was able to see 4 little eggs. They were light green and reminded me of Easter candy! I knew all birds couldn't lay eggs as big as chickens...but didn't know they came already dyed. hehehe

Michael and George were so excited about the 2nd nest. They purposely left the tree it was in and some surrounding bush so the bird would stay and feel safe enough to hatch her eggs. It worked. The bird even started to trust them and started to stay in her nest while they were working close by.

Their one mistake was to let the boss know. As soon as he was told, he grabbed a saw and cut down the tree! I was SO upset when Michael told me. The boss is my cousin and I wanted so much to give him a piece of my mind. Michael said that the nest was where they wouldn't reach it until well after the eggs had hatched...possibly not even until next spring or summer. There was no reason to cut down the tree. It was a senseless, very cruel thing to do and the next time I see my cousin, I will tell him how disappointed I am.

A few days later, Michael was driving toward the dump site to dump a load of brush they had cut. He noticed what looked like a bird in the road. It didn't move when he drove by and that seemed strange to him. He backed up and realized that it was still alive. Just like last time, he put his gloves on, picked it up, and put it in the grass along-side the road. He figures it must have been stunned by being bumped by a car or something. He stopped to check on it when he came back but the bird was gone. So at least we know he wasn't seriously injured.

God Works in Amazing Ways...

Even through MySpace! After having a long day with way too much quiet time to think, I started to feel down. I was feeling sad and alone. Then I decided to check my pages. I have a MySpace page and received the following in a bulletin:

Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"

He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it"

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

Pass this on right now. This very moment, someone needs to know that God is watching over them. And, whatever they're going through, they'll be a better person in the end.



"Life is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once."

Independence Day

Being a native village, I always found it odd how we make such a big deal out of Independce Day. Why would we celebrate when the whole reason the forefathers had land to claim was because they took it from natives? We don't look it at that way, though. The majority of our men, and some of our women, have grown up to serve in the military. We've lost some good men to war over the years and we are proud of each and every one of them. That's what we celebrate. The pride we have in our own to stand up for their country and give their lives so that those left behind can live happy and free.

When it comes to celebrating, we sure know how to throw a party! The entire town pulls together and we have a huge celebration that lasts all day long. At least a dozen booths are set up by people who sell food and toys. You can buy anything from a whoopie cushion to a shish-ka-bob to a deep-fried Snickers bar. There are races and contests for all ages. Here's Mykayla running in her race. You gotta love her curly hair! :o)

Here's Lucione waiting for them to say "GO!" so she can dive into her watermelon. She didn't place but she had a lot of fun trying and got a free watermelon out of the deal, too! One thing our town does, is give a dollar to everyone who enters a contest. Just for standing on the starting line, you get a dollar. Winners get ten, second place gets seven, and third place gets five dollars. I think that's pretty cool. To some of these kids, the one little dollar means a lot!

Here's Theodore in the orange shirt. This race is called the Duck Walk. Other races and contests included: a slow bike race (where the last person to cross the finish line was the winner), tug-of-war, the sand pit (where the littlest kids get to dig in the sand and whatever coins they find, they keep), the egg-in-spoon race (where you carry a raw egg in a plastic spoon...first one to cross the finish line with their egg still intact wins), the egg toss (play catch and get further apart after each toss...last one to break their egg wins), an apple peeling contest for the guys, a nail driving contest for the gals, and a three-legged race.

Here's Alexys in her three-legged race. Her friend's name is Hannah. They've entered as partners since they were old enough for the race and they win every year. I don't have any pictures of Lindsey in races because she got side-tracked by the water and spent her day swimming. She tries to blame it on the other kids saying, "They threw me in 7 times!" But I just told her, "Well, you must have enjoyed it because you stuck around and kept going back for more!" haha I'm glad she enjoyed herself. Normally she's pretty competetive so it was good for her to just hang out and have fun for a change.

Once all the contests are completed, we take a little break and then gather at the breakwater for a fireworks display. This years were really good. The VFD did an excellent job with thim this year (and I'm not just saying that 'cause the majority of them are family!). Everyone was pleased. Once the town fireworks were done, Michael and I followed our nephew John (Mykayla and Craig's dad) out to the other end of the island and he let us watch him light his own. There were a lot of people out there and we could see all of their fireworks as well. We had a lot of fun. So much, that we didn't stop till nearly 2AM! When we finally gave up, we cleaned up our area and stopped at the dump on the way back into town to get rid of the garbage. We pulled into our driveway at 2:10 AM. It was a long, exhausting, but totally fun day!

I can't wait till August 7th to do it all over again. :o)

My Saturday

We went to Town yesterday. We brought the puppies for their 3rd vaccination. They are now fully vaccinated until next summer.

It was a gorgeous, warm, summer day. We did a little shopping and drove all over the island just enjoying the day and each other. It was so nice to have a change of scenery for a few hours. hehe

I don't know how many of you remember the posts I wrote about being a foster mother. I had my cousins kids for 5 months when they were 1 yr. old and 5 wks. old.

They live in Town now, and I hadn't seen them since December. Yesterday while shopping for groceries, I ran into my cousin and she had her kids with her. Lexi, the older of the two, crawled out of the cart and came to give me a big hug. When we left, she yelled "See you! Love you!" as we were crossing the parking lot. It was SO good to see them. Brady wouldn't stop smiling, but didn't say a whole lot. That's fine, though. I'm just glad to see that they looked happy and well. I wanted to take them home for the 4th of July but Carmen wasn't up to a visit and wouldn't let the kids come alone. :o(

That was my excitement for the day. Other than practicing my text message skills on my cell phone. hehe That was a lot of fun.

Today I think we're going to cut some firewood for the smoke house. Tomorrow is Michael's birthday. He's requested spaghetti and chocolate cake. Every year he tells me he doesn't want a party and every year I get pressured into having one. Nobody's said anything yet so hopefully, he'll have a quiet, peaceful birthday for a change.

That's it for now. You all take care and if I don't post again before then, have a happy and safe 4th of July!

It's Not About Me

So I think I'm finally at a more positive place in my life. The situations that have been stressing me out are still there, I've just chosen not to stress anymore. They are beyond my control and turning gray or developing an ulcer will not rectify them, so I'm just letting them take their course.

Part of why I'm feeling better, is because I've quit thinking about myself. I've quit wondering what will happen to me when this is all said and done. I know God will take care of me and I'll be just fine. I may not know what's going to happen tomorrow, but I know who holds tomorrow!

I've recently done some things for others for no reason other than I wanted to. They mean a lot to me and I wanted to show them.

My mom received a free DVD player as part of some kind of free promotion. She doesn't have a lot of money right now so I knew she wouldn't be buying herself any DVD's any time soon so I ordered a couple of her favorite musicals from Amazon and had them shipped directly to her.

A friend of mine is always encouraging me to sing. I haven't performed in years and often find myself singing out loud when I'm home...alone. She tells me, "Oh, just open the windows and let people hear." But I'm too self-conscious for that. But I managed to surprise her when I bought a program that allowed me to record myself singing with my computer. I e-mailed the song to her and I think she really appreciated it. I purposely sent it without listening long enough to critique myself. I just made sure it got my voice (it took 3 tries to do it right! haha) and then attatched it to an e-mail. I know that if I had listened, I would have decided against sending it. I am my own worst critic and being as shy and self-conscious as I am, even if I had sang it perfectly (which I didn't, I realized once I listened to it in its entirety) I would have found a reason to not send it.

On the rare occassion I get out of the house and actually interact with people, I've made it a point to really interact. Normally I just wave or say a quick hello and keep moving...again, part of my insecurities. But this whole week, every time I was out of the house, if someone even smiled at me, I'd stop and say hello. If they were family or a friend, they got a hug from me. I asked how they were and listened to their answers.

Just by placing my focus on others and not myself, I'm beginning to feel better about this journey we are all on.

God on the Mountain

I've been having a really hard time lately, trying to be positive. Trying to remember that I have a good life; a blessed life; a life with a purpose and direction.

Things in my family are all screwed up at the moment. I have no idea how things are going to turn out, but I know in my heart, that I have done all I possibly could.

The thing is, I've been letting all of these problems totally consume me. I haven't been able to blog because I don't want this blog to turn in to a "woe is me" type of thing that drives people away. I haven't been spending a lot of time outside of my house because I've been afraid to face people - the family that is feuding, the curious ones who always ask what's going on, just anybody. I haven't been able to sleep because I've been holding on to this stress and worry like my life depended on it.

But ya know what? It doesn't. My life is not defined by this situation. I've let it be, but it's time to let go. In all of this, I've forgotten what's most important: my relationship with my God, my faith in Him, and the fact that He's still here. The rest of the world can turn their back on me and it won't matter. I still have God.

I'm always so quick to thank God and give Him the praise for the good things that happen. It's true that all good comes from Him, but he doesn't desert me when things go bad.

I love listening to gospel music. One of my favorite songs is God on the Mountain. It's all about how God is always there for you.

The God on the moutain is still God in the valley.

When things go wrong, He'll make them right.

The God of the good times is still God in the bad times.

The God of the day is still God in the night.

I woke up singing that song today and I've been singing it all day long.

I Can't Think of a Title

We haven't really been doing a whole lot lately. Well, I haven't, anyway. Michael's been working for about a week now. He "should" be working until at least November and then we'll see what happens. I want him to stay home this Winter but he's already hinted at returning to the other company. *sigh*
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That's partly why I keep thinking we need to move. It would be so nice to be some place where he can find work AND live with me. That's not too much to ask for, is it? I suppose I should be grateful for the time we have together...because there are families who go through more difficult separations due to military obligations and such.

I've mentioned moving to Michael a few times and he keeps pretending I'm kidding. He'll laugh it off and change the subject no matter how many times I bring it up. He's not ready to leave. I sometimes think I am but it's for all the wrong reasons.

Besides, as hard as things are right now, there are good things about living here, too. We're close to family. This island is BEAUTIFUL and I am in constant awe of my surroundings. We live a pretty calm life here. There is no crime. We don't have to lock our doors at night. There have been times we haven't even "closed" our door, even while being out all day long. You can't walk down the street or drive 2 blocks without someone smiling and waving at you. Everyone knows you by name. You're not just another face in the crowd here. People know you (which isn't always good).
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Michael's dad was sent to the hospital today. He was having chest pains and they were afraid it was his heart. They checked him out and it's not his heart. He has bronchitis. They are going to monitor him overnight, start him on anti-biotics, and he can come home tomorrow. I'm SO glad it wasn't anything more serious. The man never slows down and it scares me.
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We had Theodore and Lindsey overnight last weekend. They entertained each other so it wasn't so bad for me. We were going to let them walk the puppies with Michael. He put the leashes on the collars and was doing something at the back of the truck. By the time he turned around, the kids were long gone. They took off running. He didn't feel like trying to catch up so we just drove behind them in the truck. They ran an entire mile. I wish I had half their energy!
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There's really nothing more to say at the moment. I haven't been out of the house much because of the weather so haven't anything exciting to tell you about. Sorry!

Feeling Lost

This is a view of my hometown. We were on the ferry on our way to Town last month when I took this photo.

I never intended to spend my entire life living here. I used to long for the day I'd get off what we affectionately call the Rock.

I had a change of heart once I married. I thought things would be better and for a long time they were.

Do you ever get the feeling you need to move on? Like you've been stagnant too long? Like you're running in place on a treadmill and can't find the off switch?

That's me lately. Things are happening here. Things that are deeply upsetting to me. Things that are tearing my family apart.

I want so much to fix what's wrong but it's not my place. I want so much to pick up and go, but that's not my decision to make, either. I'm tied up in knots not sure what our next step should be.

Feels Like Summer

Last night while driving down a dirt road, we spotted something. At first we thought it was a rock, then a slight breeze came and it seemed to move. We thought maybe a piece of clothing because we were not the only vehicle on the road and an animal would have moved out of the way.

When we got closer, I realized it was a bird. I thought it was hurt because it wasn't moving its wings and every time it tried to walk, it would fall flat. I got worried because I thought for sure if we had left it there it would get run over by one of the other vehicles traveling the same road.

Normally I am not fond of birds. I enjoy watching them from a distance, but would never have one for a pet. I did that once...never again. Birds are one small step up from cats, if ya ask me.
Anyway, Michael put on his gloves and got out of the truck to get a closer look. Turns out it wasn't an injured bird. It was a chick. He probably fell out of his nest and was either stunned and disoriented, or a little banged up. He knelt down and stroked his head. He didn't run away so he picked him up. After inspecting and deciding he wasn't seriously hurt, he put him under the bushes at the road side. Hopefully, he stayed there until he was found by his mother. I hate to think of what would have happened had Michael not helped him out.

We got well into the 70's today for the first time this year. It's supposed to be warmer tomorrow and the next day. I think I'm going to need to go on a picnic!

With all of this great weather and free time on our hands, we've been spending a lot of time outdoors. Some of it driving, some of it walking, basically just doing whatever will keep us out of the house.

The puppies are doing well. They're growing and are as active as ever. The only time Copper stops moving is to sleep. Oh, and when its time to go down stairs.

We stood there for what felt like forever giving gentle tugs on the lease. He never did budge so we ended up having to pick him up and carry him down the stairs. I guess that's good, though. At least for now we won't have to worry about him making a run for it when the door is left open.

Smokin'

Smoking...it's something I didn't try until after I married.

It had been 2 years since the last time we smoked but we started again yesterday.

We couldn't help it. The cravings were too strong.

Two years is a long time between smokes, ya know.

We figured we had waited long enough. Now was as good a time to start as any.

So we did it. We quit fightin the urge.

We started the smokehouse yesterday and our first batch of fish should be done tonight!

Catching Up

Lindsey's on her way so I have to do this quick...

I'm sorry I haven't updated lately. May is a very busy month for me with school ending and all of the graduations, etc. With Michael being home and not working, I don't spend a lot of time on the computer. Not until late evening when I'm too lazy to type! :o)

Not a whole lot to update on, though. Now that things have settled down its starting to feel like summer vacation. Even the rain feels like summer. It's actually falling straight down rather than sideways! It' s a warm rain, too.

The puppies are growing. They are very playful but when left alone, they tend to play rough with each other. Copper is still afraid to go down stairs.

My girls are trying softball for the first time. They played a couple games in Town last weekend but lost. They're having fun, though, and that's what counts! I'm so glad that they are not afraid to try new things.

I hear Lindsey...gotta go!

Summertime and the Livin' is Easy

I hope the fish are jumpin' because my dad took Michael out fishing today. It's perfect fishing weather; no wind and a light, misty rain. Not so perfect for walking home from work, though. I'm drenched.

I don't mind a bit, though. I just finished up my last work day, the principal gave me rave reviews and my prospects for next year look good (no more science, YAY!). My pocket is holding my paycheck and even with my bum ankle, there was a spring in my step. :o)

I actually love rain at this time of year. The flowers seem more fragrant and the bugs hide away. I was almost disappointed to find myself arriving at home so quickly. Had I not been limping, I would have liked to keep right on walking.

So anyway, about my evaluation. The principal gave me the highest marks possible in EVERY. SINGLE. CATEGORY! Talk about a boost to the ego! He also said that my time in science class is wasted. Not because I didn't do any good, but because I could be doing so much more. So next year, if I have a lot of holes in my schedule again, rather than playing second fiddle to the science teacher (which I was SO not looking forward to - he taught my Lindsey this year and I am not impressed with him, even slightly, in any way shape or form and I think the district was crazy to keep him on staff but I am somewhat relieved to know he won't be in a regular classroom.), I'm going to be a tutor working one-on-one or in small groups. I love that! I'd do that all day if they'd let me. My technology duties will be increasing, also. Not so much that I'm in charge of the district, but he is going to recommend that I be in charge of my building. We're starting new programs and his reasoning is, if I'm the only one who knows how to run them, they can't let me go no matter how many cuts they need to take. Nice to know he wants me to stick around! It could also mean another small paycheck for me this summer when the new tech person arrives from Florida.

Lucione, Lindsey, and Alexys are on the girls softball team. Its the inaugural year and they are having a blast. Tomorrow they travel to a neighboring community for their first game. I won't be going because I have to take my puppies to the vet on Saturday. Can't afford to be over there all weekend until Michael starts working full-time.

I have no idea what I am going to be doing this summer. I'm not planning to travel. I'm hoping to get back to regular posting. I'm looking forward to relaxing, maybe do some reading. For now, though, I've got to find some lunch. Have a great day! :o)

MY Mother's Day

I already told you about our picnic at the beach. But what I didn't mention, was the fact that I received gifts for Mother's Day.

When we got back, I was surprised to find 2 gift bags on my living room floor. I read the cards and was even more surprised. One was from my in-laws, the other from my nieces. Mother's Day cards...for me? I was taken off-guard but really do appreciate the fact that they thought about me. I know that my mother-in-law was behind both of them and that made it all the more special. I received these 2 cards and 2 new blouses. Oh, and $20.

You'll have to click the cards to read the writing.
This is the inside of the card. My mother-in-law wrote a very nice, and surprising message. I was very touched because she doesn't always verbalize her feelings. She's never quite said "thank you" before...so this was a nice surprise.
My father-in-law, on the other hand...always tells me how much he loves me. He calls me "Babe" like I'm one of his daughters and has made me feel like one of his own from day 1.

This is the card I received from my nieces.

My Weekend (Most of it) In Pictures

I have not been home much at all lately. If you normally correspond with me via computer, you'd have noticed. Michael and I spent the entire weekend together being outdoors as much as we could. I didn't even mind that gas is now over $3.11 a gallon...I'd have paid twice that to have the weekend we had.

On Friday we had an early supper and jumped in the truck. We were out from about 5:00 till well after 10PM. We drove, walked, drove, and walked some more. Neither of us cared what time it was or what we were missing on TV...it was just nice to be outdoors.

Saturday was much of the same. Outdoors all day long. We were exercising the puppies for a bit and I started taking pictures. My dad loves being outdoors as much as I do...especially on the water. I don't know why I was so surprised to realize that the boat I was trying to focus on was my dads! I'm not sure who he has with him, but that's him standing. I just missed his wave.

We visited different lakes around the island and saw a beaver in almost every one. Here's one with a branch for his dam.

We were outdoors all day and I couldn't go home without taking the opportunity to take some photos of the sunset.

Michael is always trying to take pictures of the moon. We either don't have the right camera or don't know how to use this one properly...but he never gives up trying. Looks pretty good this time, though.

Before finally going home, we showed our neice Marie how to steam oysters so she could try them for the first time. She really enjoyed them. She didn't even allow them time to cool before she started popping them in her mouth!

One of my favorite summer activities is going to the beach. Last summer I didn't go once. Michael was gone for most of the summer and its no fun going alone. Sunday we spent the entire day on a picnic.

We roasted hotdogs and marshmallows and just sat and visited for hours. The weather was great and the beach was peaceful and calm. This is the beginning of what would become, hopefully, just our first beach fire of the year.

Copper and Bianca enjoyed their first outing to the beach. I don't think they understood why we wouldn't let them near the water, but they both had a blast in the sand!

I think Bianca tired herself out.

Mother's Day...Just Another Day

Longing for the Sun

I was 12 years old when you said goodbye
With no explanation why
You got in your car and drove away
All I could do was cry
You said you loved me, you loved my dad
But you couldn’t stick around
What does that mean? I’m confused
It must feel this way to drown
Trying so hard to get some air
Some stable ground to stand on
Fight through the waves of anger and pain
I still can’t believe you’re gone
Had you died, I could have learned
To accept being left behind
But you just left and I don’t know why
I feel I’m losing my mind
Do you even realize what you’ve left behind?
What we go through each day?
My dad’s depressed, my sister’s mad
I believe I’ve lost my way
There were no bitter words exchanged
Not even an angry glance
No clue that you would pack your things
And run at your first chance
How long were you unhappy?
What made you want to leave?
You said you loved us but still can’t stay
I don’t know what to believe
I’m afraid that I will always hurt
I’ll always be in pain
You’re gone and you can’t tell me why
Am I the one to blame?
I’m trying so hard to come to terms
With what you’ve done to me
I’m longing for the day I wake
And finally feel set free
Set free from the anger, guilt and shame
Of forcing you to run
Free from clouds of self-doubt and blame
Finally free to feel the sun

I wrote this when I was a freshman in high school. I was 14 and confused about my parents’ divorce.

I came home from school after just starting the 7th grade. My mom was on the living room floor crying. She had the cassette tapes out on the floor separated into piles. I asked her what she was doing. She told me she was sorting tapes because she was going to be packing. She was leaving the next day. When I asked how long she’d be gone, she said, “Forever, I’m leaving your dad.” My sister started yelling at her and that made me cry. She couldn’t tell us why. She just kept saying, “I love you two, and I love your dad, but I can’t stay here. I need to ‘find myself’.” Whatever that means.

Every year around this time, I get upset. Knowing Mother’s Day is coming stirs up all the feelings I tried so hard to suppress when I was younger. I buy her gifts, call her up and tell her I love her, but in the back of my mind, I have flashbacks of when she left.

I remember my dad crying in the dark. I remember him not being able to eat because of the ulcer he developed not long after she left. I remember him drinking in an attempt to drown his pain.

I remember my sister getting mad at the world. She lost her smile. She forgot how to be happy. She forgot how to be a family. Her grades stayed high, but everything else went down hill. The living room became my bedroom because she claimed she couldn’t stand the sight of me. I eventually came to accept her behavior and it stopped hurting. She eventually outgrew her bitterness and we became sisters and friends once again.

I remember myself going to school trying to pretend everything was okay. I remember standing on a stool to do laundry because, without one, I couldn’t reach the clothes at the bottom of the washer. I remember the frustration of learning to cook rice because if I didn’t cook, I didn’t eat and neither did my sister. Now that I’m grown, I don’t cook rice all that often. I don’t even cook unless I have to.

Being an adult, it really bothers me that this still hurts. How is it she was able to move on and act like nothings happened while the rest of us suffered? How do I know? Because she was gone less than a year before she became engaged. Because she has been home 3 times in the 22 years she has been away. Because she doesn’t take the time to ask me how I’m doing.

I think I finally understand why it is that I bend over backwards to help Space Cadet with her children even though I sometimes resent her irresponsibility. I don’t ever want her daughters to experience anything like what I did. I can’t keep Space Cadet’s marriage together should it fall apart, but I can make sure those girls feel loved and accepted each and every day of their lives. I can make sure that they know that, no matter what, someone cares. They matter to someone. They are important to someone.

I’ll never know why my mom left. I’ll never understand what her reasons are. Maybe I’m not supposed to. I finally admitted to someone else just the other night, that I tend to get withdrawn and somewhat depressed every Mother’s Day. Not because I don’t have a mother. Not because I hate my mother, but because I love her. She hurt me like nobody else has been able to…but I love her. She ends every conversation we have (which, sadly, are few and far between lately) with the same phrase I used to say to her when I was about 3 years old. Maybe she still thinks of me that way. Maybe she’s trying to make me think of life when I was that young. Maybe she wants me to remember when we were still a family; still happy. Who knows. All I know is I’m not very fond of Mother’s Day.

Lazy Sunday

I didn't do anything productive today. Not a thing. I haven't been sleeping well lately. I was up early...I had to get up at 7 to make sure the hot water heater was on so I could get Lindsey up by 8 to get her ready to go help with her softball fundraiser this morning at 9:30.

After she left, I wandered around the internet for a bit. Looking at sites of friends and family.

We decided around Noon to take the puppies out to the runway for a walk. On the way out there it started raining. We drove around out there until the rain stopped and tried to walk them. Bianca did good...but had me at a fast walk the entire time. Copper got stubborn and wouldn't walk. By the time he felt like walking, Bianca and I had already turned around and were headed back to the truck.

I came home and was pleasantly surprised with a wonderful aroma coming out of the kitchen. Michael snuck a roast into the oven before we left so I don't even have to cook today!

It was nice to be able to do absolutely nothing that required any thought. I'm getting burned out with work, as I do every year, so it was just enough to recarge me for the last (Fizzy, close your eyes) 2 and a half weeks of the school year.

(You can open your eyes again, Fizz)

Here's a quick little Craig story for y'all.

He had to write his very first state report a couple weeks ago. He's only in 2nd grade so the entire class did Alaska. His report that hangs on the wall is about 3 sentences long. But when you ask him what he knows about Alaska, it usually goes something like this:

Well, lets see...Alaska is the 49th state. It's been a state since 1959 and used to belong to Russia. If you cut Alaska in half, it will still be the biggest state. It's even bigger than Texas! The Big Dipper is on the flag and the North Star, too....

He'll go on and on if you don't interrupt or show you're not interested. Anyway, the other day in the library he told me he got an A+ on his report. I praised him and gave him a high five and asked what his report was on. He rattled off all the facts he could remember and when he got to the year of Alaska's statehood, I said, "Ya know...Uncle Mike was born that year."

To which he replied, "What?! He was?!" and pretended to faint!

Untitled (Because I Can't Think of One)

I don’t have an excuse for not writing this time. Mainly, I guess, I just haven’t been making the time. When I do find time to sit at the computer, I end up doing other things (like chatting or trying not to smile at the webcam).

There’s been a lot going on, but nothing worth mentioning. Perhaps that’s another reason I haven’t written. I don’t do enough interesting things to write about.

I have 2 and a half weeks left in this school year. I have two more weeks of science and computer classes. I just found out today that, as a Specials teacher, I am partly in charge of planning the end of the year Field Day for the kids. That should have been started long ago, so hopefully I won’t need to be too involved in that. I would rather be free to wander around watching and taking pictures.

We’re going to be very busy here at school till the end of the year. We’ve got Headstart Orientation on Monday. The little ones come to tour the school and have lunch in the cafeteria. The junior high and high school spring concert is on the 9th. The spring concert for the elementary is on the 16th. The 19th is my last day teaching computers and science. That is also the day of high school graduation. 8th grade promotes on the 22nd. The kids’ last day is the 24th and they’ll be released at Noon. On the 25th is an all-district breakfast and Teacher Check-Out day. Somewhere in there, I’ll also be doing the final round of testing in both reading and math.

Then it will be about 13 weeks of keeping Akeskileut up as late as I can, trying to entertain any children who happen to stop by, and hopefully live a life of leisure all summer. (

But for now, I need to get back to work.

Today is My Friday...

…and boy, am I glad!

This has been a tough week for me. It wasn’t until last night I realized how much work was affecting the rest of my life.

A couple weeks ago, some boys were sent to the office. I happened to be in there talking with Space Cadet about something. She told the boys, “Go sit in the principal’s office and do not talk.”

We didn’t know what they did to earn this little trip to the office and we didn’t ask. The boys (a couple of 6th graders, already too big for their britches) thought it was funny and were giggling and talking. Space Cadet asked them again, “Please stop talking. There’s no talking when you’re sent to the office.”

That just made them giggle more. I finally peeked in and realized that one of them didn’t have a chair. So I said, “Have a seat on the floor facing away from (the other boy).”

I finished my conversation with Space Cadet and headed out of the office to go do my recess duty. While exiting, I heard, “Boys! There IS no talking!”

She didn’t yell extremely loud, but was stern enough that the boys should have known she meant business.

I thought that was the end of it, at least as far as I was concerned.

About a day or 2 later, Space Cadet called my extension and said, “(The Superintendent’s Secretary – Space Cadet’s older sister) just called and said that there’s a letter from a parent saying I was yelling at her son and nephew and you threatened to expel them.”

I was so shocked. I said, “I remember them being in the office, but where do they get ‘Listen to me or you’ll be expelled’ from ‘Sit down and turn your back’?”

She said she was wondering the same thing. We couldn’t say anything because the letter was to the superintendent…we weren’t sent a copy. Talking about a letter we never did receive could get our older sister in trouble for breaking confidentiality. We decided to wait to see if anything happened, or if we were approached by anyone asking for our side of the story.

Later that afternoon, our older sister faxed a copy of the letter to Space Cadet. The letter was addressed to the principal, but courtesy copies were sent to the superintendent and the boys’ classroom teacher. I read the letter and could not believe it. It was full of accusations. According to the letter, the boys were not given a chance to explain what happened and were punished too harshly. They are the victims because they are children and the adults should know better.

According to the letter, they were sent to the office for calling another student names and laughing at her. There’s supposedly a witness who says the boys didn’t call anybody names and the girl they made cry over-reacted.

According to the letter, Space Cadet and I were way out of line by even speaking to them. They made it sound like Space Cadet was screaming at them (she wasn’t) and I was dropping threats all over the place (what a laugh).

The letter angered both of us, but we were still helpless. We felt couldn’t let anyone know we had read it without getting Older Sister in trouble. It was a Friday…we decided to wait out the weekend and see what happened come Monday.

Late Friday afternoon, the classroom teacher approached Space Cadet about the letter. That gave Space Cadet a reason to approach the principal. She said, “A teacher approached me about a letter they received from a parent….”

He told her not to worry about it…that everything in the letter was taken out of context and Space Cadet and I had nothing to do with why the boys were in the office.

Okay, that’s good to know. At least our boss didn’t believe the letter. But that still didn’t give me a chance to clear my own name because the teacher didn’t approach me. Space Cadet told me not to worry…that she probably just figured it was all a misunderstanding so didn’t see the need to approach me about it.

I tried not to think about it all weekend but there was a basketball tournament going on so I kept running into the mother who wrote the letter. I tried to smile like I always do…not letting on that I knew what she had done. She’d just snap her eyes and look away or give me an icy glare.

When I came to work on Monday, I kept waiting for the principal to call me into his office for a visit. He still hasn’t. I tried to convince myself that that was a good thing. It means he trusts me…doesn’t believe I would threaten a kid. (Believe me, if I thought I had the power to expel, some kids would have been gone long ago!)

But when I went to Science on Tuesday, everything changed. We have 6th grade on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings. I heard the teacher telling the other science teacher – while I was walking by – to “remember the letter. Don’t forget about the letter.”

The science teacher sent me out of the classroom to do other things the entire period. Not just Tuesday, but the following day, as well. That bothers me because it shows me that the classroom teacher, even after working together for 13 years, actually believes I could treat students so poorly. Not only does she believe the letter, but she’s told others about it.

So now I’m left wondering how many people have read the letter and now think differently of me because of some ridiculously false accusations made by an angry parent. As of yet, nobody has approached me so I can’t speak up. I can’t defend myself. I have to pretend like I don’t know about it. But being treated differently hurts.

I didn’t realize how much until Michael asked me last night what he did to make me mad. I explained what’s been going on at work (he knew about the letter but I didn’t tell him about the classroom teacher) and assured him that if I was mad or withdrawn, it was not because of him but because of work.

I’m so glad it’s the end of the year. I’m also glad I’m not working tomorrow. I’m hoping I’ll feel better after a 3 day weekend. I have no delusions about “everyone” liking me.  But when accusations are made, I would at least like the chance to defend myself, or explain my actions. I hate this.

Major Catch-Up With Pictures!

My internet at home has been fixed for a couple days but I was busy all weekend with basketball. We had some visiting teams from Kake. The girls lost all their games and the boys won all of theirs. It was still a good experience for all involved.

I'm going to attempt to catch you up on all that went on since my last post.

BIRTHDAY PARTY

First, was Lucione's birthday. She turned 14 on the 14th. Here she is watching her big sister Marie bring her birthday cake to her.



Always the ham...she had to pose with every single gift she received.



THE PUPPIES

We take the puppies out to the old runway so they can exercise. There's less traffic, and no big dogs to scare them. Here's Bianca eyeing the camera. I love how fluffy she is!



Copper takes some coaxing, but he seems to enjoy his time outdoors, too. He stays right by you, though, so you have to be really careful when you walk. It's easy to step on him or cause him to tumble over with your foot when he gets too close.



EASTER

The kids really enjoyed their egg hunt after dinner. So much so, that they begged us to hide their eggs over and over again. Here's Mikayla searching my truck for eggs. Don't pay any attention to the dust.



Mikayla and Craig were very competetive at first. Once they realized how much fun it was to find their eggs, they started helping each other. The eggs had initials on them and they were only allowed to fill their baskets with eggs that had their own initials on them. Sometimes they had to look really hard to see who's egg they found. :o)



They got cold but weren't ready to quit so we had to move the hunt inside.



EAGLES

When we weren't over-eating at my in-laws house, we were out enjoying the weather as much as we could. We've seen a lot of different animals, but unfortunately, the only time we had a camera was the day we went to the dump! The good news is, I spotted some gorgeous eagles perched in the trees.



Even better was the one who came waltzing right up to us. I had never been so close to an eagle. It took my breath away...the size...the beauty. It was awesome.



So there you have it. Most of my last 2 weeks or so in pictures.

I've Been Cut Off :o(

My internet at home is not working. It won’t be fixed for at least another 24 hours. *sigh* I never realize how much I use the internet until I can’t. I use it to keep an eye on my bank balance, read newspapers from other cities and states, play games (hehe), and all sorts of things. I’m not the only one who misses it, either. My niece was bored out of her mind when she came to visit me and couldn’t check her e-mail. Haha She had to play with my puppies, instead.

I have one more reading test to give today before I move on to math next week. I’ll be so happy when it’s all complete. I’ll be even gladder when this school year is over. This week has been especially stressful for me, for reasons I don’t care to get into at the moment. Summer break sounds so good right now.

So does a nice, relaxing, stress-free weekend. I was supposed to chaperone a dance on Friday, but it’s been cancelled so I can go to bed as early as I want (even though I probably won’t). I’ve been really tired lately. I actually took a nap yesterday. It was short, but I don’t take naps. For some reason yesterday, I just could not keep my eyes open.

Our weather has been crazy this week. We actually had snow the other day; HUGE flakes and an almost complete white-out. It didn’t stick, thank goodness, but it has snowed a few times since. I hope this is not a sign we’re in for a rainy summer.

I’ve got to prepare for my next reading test. Have a good day!

I Hope You Had a Wonderful Easter!

I hope everyone had a safe, enjoyable Easter weekend! My weekend was busy doing a lot of not-so-important things. Except Sunday…that was church and eating then more church and more eating. I thought I was done eating until I heard my nephew Ross is coming in today and he’s got a huge prime rib dinner planned for the family tonight. Oh well, it will be nice to see him. He hasn’t been home since last August.

We only have 3 really young (actually 2…but the third one pouted when he thought he was being excluded) kids in our family. We had an Easter egg hunt for them yesterday after dinner. They were just plastic eggs…empty plastic eggs, at that, but they had a blast.

We hid them outside and once they found them all, begged to start all over again. They had 3 hunts outside before they got cold. Then we moved inside and they had at least 3 more. I have pictures, but I’m at work.

If I can get on my computer later, I’ll post pictures. Lucione has been doing her homework at my house. That means I don’t get the computer until she’s done and with the loads of work she’s been having, that hasn’t been till after 6PM. By then I’ve had supper and am ready to do other things. That’s why I haven’t been posting very often. I can’t ever get on my computer at home!

Here at work I’ve started testing again. A whole month early, but that’s how the principal wants it. He said he wants to allow time for students to take it again if he thinks they need it. The kids aren’t very happy with me. They just took their big benchmark exams not too long ago.

We’re down to 5 and ½ weeks until summer vacation. I can’t believe how fast time is passing. I’m so ready for the break, though.

Michael is still hinting at going back to work in California if/when they call him back. Personally, I’m tired of this company. Not just because of all the traveling Michael does, either. They promised him year-round employment.  They said if they finish a project somewhere, they’ll move on to the next so they’d always be working. They haven’t worked since January. They were told that a total of 70 people throughout the company were laid off. One of the bosses let it slip that a guy who had been hired AFTER Michael and Rick was re-hired once Michael and Rick returned back to Alaska. They were told they could return by March…then April. Then they get called and told they have a month-long job here on the island. They were to be working all through April until the first part of May. They worked a total of 7 days and were told they were done. I’m getting tired of broken promises…empty bank accounts…a restless husband. I keep telling him he needs to find work here at home. Yet when you ask him when he’s going back to work, he’ll say, “They’re supposed to let me know in May.” Sometimes he’s loyal to a fault. *sigh*

I’ve got 2nd grade now…I need to give them my undivided attention during their test.

Meet the Puppies

I was expecting to have at least a week with Bianca before we got our 2nd puppy, but yesterday afternoon, the other puppy was brought to us. I was extremely nervous because it normally takes me a while to warm up to animals.

With Bianca, it was different. I'm not sure why. I liked her right off the bat and was not afraid to pick her up and hold her.

I'm still trying to get used to the 2nd puppy, mainly because he is so small. He's half the size of Bianca. I hope that he wasn't given to us too soon. He is cute, though. So here they are...

Meet Bianca and Copper

I haven't had time to take better pictures of them, but I will soon. Bianca is facing the camera. This is the first time they saw each other. She was afraid and backed herself into a corner. Now they play with each other and she acts protective over him. They're very cute and I think, in time, I'll get used to the both of them.

Since You Asked...

An ooligan, (also called smelt, eulachon, oolichan, hooligan, or candlefish) is a small, silver fish the size of herring (approximately 6 to 10 inches long). Almost 20 percent of their weight is oil.

They’ve received the nickname, candlefish, because they are so full of oil that when dried, the ooligan is able to be stood upright and lit. It will then burn from end to end like a candle.

Ooligan grease is the oil of an ooligan but is called grease because at cool temperatures, it is a solid with the color and consistency of butter. To make ooligan grease, ooligan are heaped in piles (and depending on who is making it and where…buried, covered with evergreen branches, or stored in wooden boxes) for a few days to break down the flesh and release the oil. The ooligan are then boiled and the grease skimmed off. Ooligan grease is regularly used to accent the flavor of other foods. It may be served over dried salmon, halibut, berries, or potatoes. I also like to add it to clam chowder and boiled fish (basically a fish soup with a thin broth).

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My puppy is 6 weeks old. She is a mix of, I think, 2 types of Terrier. I know for a fact that the mother is a Lhasa Apso. The father, according to my niece, is also a type of Terrier, but she doesn’t know what kind. The father belongs to my nephew and he’s away in the Merchant Marines so I can’t ask him. All I know is that she will stay fairly small.

We have chosen the name Bianca for her. Any guess as to where I got her name? (Akeskileut, zip your lips! hehe)

Space Cadet brought her to us when she returned from Town on Saturday evening. She’s doing well with us so far. We took a trip to Town on Sunday and she did extremely well in the truck. She has already attached herself to me and follows me everywhere. She’s getting more and more active as she gets to know her new surroundings more so I have to be careful not to step on her. She’s let us know that she does not like being locked in the kitchen. We put a baby gate in the doorway so that she stays on the tile while she’s home alone…easier to clean-up after her that way. She’s a pro at howling, let me tell ya. I felt bad, but couldn’t pick her up because her fluffy fur gets all over me and I didn’t want to look like I was the one shedding when I got to work.

I’ve enjoyed having her and am not really looking forward to getting a second, but we’ll see what happens. Michael’s already committed to taking him and promises that he’s cute and will also be a small, indoor dog. If nothing else, we’ll have His and Hers dogs. Haha

*If you’ve read this and there is no picture, come back later…I’m at work and will post a picture of her once I return back home.

I Got Up Early For Nothing

Yesterday when Akeskileut asked what I had planned for my weekend, I said, "Michael has to work tomorrow so it will be my lazy day."

Then Michael came home.

He said he didn't have to work and if I wanted to go to Town to pick up my puppy, we could. I've been patiently waiting since she was born so, of course, I agreed. I had to visit the bank, anyway. I've got a tax refund to deposit!

I was all excited about it and barely even remember what happened at the celebration thing last night (although the girls did see us there, so that's good) because I couldn't concentrate.

Michael woke me up at 6:30 and as soon as my eyes opened I felt as if I had over-slept. I asked him why he woke me so late and he said I had plenty of time because the ferry leaves at 8:00.

At 7:30 we went to the ferry terminal and it was gone. :o( For some reason I still do not know, it left at 6:45 today. It's making another trip at 5:00PM but will only be over there for half an hour so we'll either have to spend the night or wait till tomorrow to go over.

I got up early for nothing. So much for my lazy day. *sigh*

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Oh, about yesterdays post. I was venting. Space Cadet does silly things like this all the time. I don't help her out with money, but her parents do. Now that her oldest daughter is an adult, she helps, too.

What I resent is the fact that she knows I will always be there for her girls. She doesn't think twice about skipping out on holidays or other special days because she knows the girls will be taken care of.

She knows that when she's broke and can't feed her girls, I will. She knows that if she doesn't slow down to help her kids with homework, I will. She knows that if she feels like leaving town for a day or two (sometimes longer) she doesn't have to worry about her girls because when she's not here to take care of them, I will.

It's not unusual for me to have one or both of her girls for days at a time. Not once, in the almost 14 years I have been a part of this family, has she offered to help pay for the food I feed them. It has never crossed her mind to send them here with as little as a gallon of milk when they arrive for an extended stay.

She takes it for granted that I will be here and sometimes it just...irks me. But as mad as I get at her, I can't say no to the girls. They're children.

Her girls don't ask for much. I'm always talking to them about the value of a dollar. They are provided for at my house. I do not spoil them. When I feel like giving them something extra, I let them help me cook dinner or ask them to do a simple household chore. Then they feel as if they've earned what I've given them. They realize that their mother never has money for them. They've learned to accept it. That's the saddest part of all. I can't even fathom what must go through their heads when they hear their mother say, "I'm broke," and then have to stand by and watch her leave for an over-night stay in Town.

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Connie, you asked about my clam chowder. I actually use two pots to cook it because I start the potatoes, carrots, onions, and celery in one pot. Once the vegetables are tender, I use the 2nd pot to make a roux and slowly add Half and Half until it's well combined and smooth. Then I add it to the vegetables. The last thing I add is the clams. Once they're heated, it's time to eat! Sounds very similar to yours except that I add a couple tablespoons of ooligan grease to mine while it cooks.

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I guess now that I'm not going to pick up my puppy, I can go to our clinic dedication. Hopefully the rain will hold off until after the pole is raised. I hope you all have a good weekend.

When Will You Ever Learn?

Space Cadet strikes again!

She complained all week long about being broke. She had to pay her rent because they were threatening to evict her. She can't throw Lucione a birthday party with her friends because she had to pay rent. On and on and on about how broke she is.

The truth is, she's always broke.

She complains about it every single month and I'm tired of hearing it. She comes to the family for help every month and I'm tired of helping. She digs herself deeper in debt everyday and I'm tired of feeling sorry for her kids. I'm just tired of the whole deal.

We JUST HAD A DISCUSSION YESTERDAY about how we would have a family dinner for Lucione on her birthday (she turns 14 on Friday the 14th) because a big party or dance with all of her friends just wasn't in the budget. She told Lucione and she was okay with that.

So today after lunch she called me into her office. She showed me a program from a celebration happening tonight. She said, "I won't be able to go. Can you go in my place?"

I asked her where she was going. She wouldn't tell me. I said, "This is probably important to the girls. Why can't you go?"

"I'm going to Town."

So I ask, "Why are you going to Town?"

"Can you go to this tonight?"

Again I ask, "Why are you going to Town?"

"Ron's paying my way."

"That's not what I asked...WHY are you going to Town?"

"Marie gave me $50 to shop for Lucione's birthday. I told Lucione I'd send her over on payday since I can't give her a big party."

I just turned and walked out of the office.

I will probably go to the celebration thing tonight because Michael knows about it and will want to be there for the girls but I sort of resent the fact that, once again, Space Cadet is running off and expecting me to pick up the pieces.

As if that wasn't bad enough, she's using Lucione's birthday as an excuse to go and visit her friend Ron...overnight...with no money. How can you shop for a birthday with $50? Things are expensive here. $50 will not go far. Lucione was happy with a small family celebration, now Space Cadet has promised her a trip to Town on her next payday. That will put her behind on rent again. It's all a vicious cycle that Space Cadet created all on her own and doesn't seem to be capable of breaking.

The only reason she's going over is because my in-laws and oldest sister-in-law are in Seattle for a potlatch and Space Cadet is feeling left out. She's been whining and moping all week and Ron got tired of it and told her to come over.

Nevermind that your daughters are being honored for their recent sportsmanship award. Nevermind that you have a choir concert in 2 days and you'll be missing dress rehearsal. Nevermind the fact that you HAVE NO MONEY and are always complaining you are broke.

Go.

Have fun.

Just don't expect me to feel sorry for you when you can't make ends meet next week. Payday is a long 3 and a half weeks away and the check will mean nothing because you've already promised it to others.

Oops!

I swear I start each day thinking, “I need to make an entry to my blog today.” But once I’m up and ready to start my day, I don’t do it.

This week at school we’re busy with tests. The students are taking their state benchmark exams and the teacher’s aides are taking a test to prove they are highly qualified. It’s the teacher’s aides who are keeping me busy.

I’ve been trying to help them cram so that they can pass at least one of the three sections on the test. They’re not very confident they can pass any part of it, but we’ll keep going till they’ve passed them all. They have until June 30th to pass in order to assure them of a job next school year. It all stems from the No Child Left Behind Act.

The weather for the past few weeks has been absolutely gorgeous. We’ve warmed up quite a bit, even hitting 50 degrees a couple days in a row this week. As I walked to work this morning it was cloudy and sprinkled for a few minutes, but was still a nice walk.

The only complaint I had was the neighbor’s dog wouldn’t stop following me. The more I asked him to go home, the closer he followed. They need to put him on a leash. He drags trash all over the place and even swiped one of Michael’s shoes he left on the porch. Nevermind that Michael shouldn’t have left his shoes on the porch, the dog needs to be tied up.

We have about 6 and a half weeks left before Summer Vacation. That is unreal. I cannot believe how fast this year flew by! Every year at this time I find myself wondering what it would be like to not work the following year. “What if I stayed home?” “What if I got a job somewhere else?” “What if….”

Then August comes along, I get a call asking if I want to work and I always say yes.

I’m out of time. Space Cadet is pouting because she’s not required to take the exam the teacher’s aides are taking. Mr. Principal is tired of hearing her whine about it so I have to test her today. *sigh*

Finally!

After a week off for Spring Break, I got sick. So I ended up with a two week break, instead. By Wednesday, I thought I was okay but then got worse Wednesday night. I ended up dehydrated and everything, so it wasn’t fun.

But I’m back at work now and other than a million questions from everyone, it’s like I never left.

I can’t even remember what I posted about last (I’m at work and using Word to type so can’t read my blog.).

Spring Break was nice. The girls played in a tournament. The “End-of-the-Season Tournament”, thank goodness. I love watching them play, but their season always drags on forever. I know they’re trying to keep the kids busy, but I think our town needs to figure out some other sports for the kids to play.

Anyway, the girls are on the same team. They lost their first game but continued on because it was double-elimination. They won their second game. They lost their 3rd game and according to the bracket, should have received 3rd place because the winner of their game went on to championship. But somehow they had to play a team they already eliminated and lost so they got 4th. That made no sense, and they should have won, but their team got the Sportsmanship award. I won’t even go into the bad refs and how lopsided the calls were (the girls’ team had 17 fouls and the other team had 5…and it was the girls’ team getting knocked all over the place).

The week after Spring Break is a week I would like to forget. I had major stomach problems. I won’t go into details because, trust me, you don’t wanna know. Hehe

My nephew Theodore was over from Town for his Spring Break and came to visit me a few times. One night he brought my nephew James with him and they played I Spy on my computer for a while. When James started bossing him he said, “Be nice or I’ll go get Aunty. She’s the Tickle Master!” He’s always asking how I know “everybody’s” ticklish spots.

Lucione spent the night with us on Saturday. It was her first time since we moved into this house. Sunday afternoon we went to a family potluck because Michael’s aunt and uncle are visiting from Fairbanks on their way to Reno. I didn’t think his aunt would remember me but she called me over for a hug and reprimanded me for not visiting her the last time she went through town. Haha

Michael has been taking advantage of the low tides and gathering seafood. So far we’ve had clams on the half-shell, fried rice with cockles, and fried octopus (we call it devil fish). Tonight we’ll have clam chowder. We were also given herring eggs. We ate those a couple nights ago and last night we bought some ooligans. I’m afraid that with all this seafood, the hamburger we have in the refrigerator is going to spoil!

My first class is here so I guess I better stop now. I hope (if I even have any readers left after my long absence) you all have a good day! :o)