My Poor Baby is Heartbroken

The little league End-of-the-Season Tournament started today. Lucione had to play against Alexys and despite being ahead by 6 after the first quarter, tied at the end of the first half, AND tied at the end of the 3rd quarter, they lost by 6. They're not out of the tournament, but they have to fight their way through the losers bracket.

I should have kept my distance after the game. Lucione gets emotional with me. As soon as I sat next to her, she started to cry. I gave her a pep-talk about how she played hard and that's what matters most. She did her best, did not nothing wrong, and will have another chance tomorrow. After I said all I could think of, she was still crying so I did the only thing I could think of.

I said, "EEEeewwww! I shouldn't have hugged you. You got your sweat all over me!"

Of course, that made her giggle. Now I have to wash my sweater. :o)

She played her heart out and had a really good game. They really should have won. I made it a point to NOT talk to Alexys after the game because I was quite disappointed in her. I didn't want to lecture her again so thought it best I stay away.

Not too long ago, we had a talk about sportsmanship and how one should act on the court when playing as a part of the team. We talked about playing hard, but playing fairly. We talked about keeping tempers under control and not throwing fits or pouting. We talked about not getting a swollen head. That, especially, is a really bad habit of hers.

I think I may have been talking to myself. She acted like she heard none of it. Not only did she not play team ball, she frowned the entire time and played especially rough when guarding Lucione. When she swatted at her and the ref called her on it, she cried and acted as if she didn't do anything. Her mother went down to the bench and talked to her about her attitude but that seemed to only make things worse.

Lindsey had a game this afternoon. She didn't tell me about it, though, so I missed it. I hear she won so she gets a day off and will play again on Friday. Lucione plays tomorrow. Hopefully she'll get a win. Her team has had a tough time this year. They play their hearts out and can't seem to pull off a win.

Look Up at the Sky Day

Did you know today was "Look Up at the Sky Day"? How often do you actually take the time to just look up at the sky and let your mind just wander?

Summer is when I usually look up at the sky during the day. Mainly because it's the only time of year I'm outside during daylight hours on a somewhat regular basis. But also because Summer is the only time of year the sky changes. Fall and Winter are pretty much one rain or snow storm after another. Summer time offers bright blue skies with ever changing cloud formations.

My nieces and I like to see who can spot different things in the clouds. We also like to make up stories of where we think the jet are coming from or going to. Watching the eagles soar high above us is always relaxing. Of course, we can do that any time of year around here.

Looking up at the night sky always reminds me of how small my world actually is. At the same time, it's comforting to know that should loved ones who are far away happen to look up at the night sky, they are seeing the same stars I am. I've also been known to make a wish on falling stars. :o)

Somewhere Out There
written by James Horner, Barry Mann, Cynthia Weil

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

When my cousin's daughter Erin was in 2nd grade, she sang this song as a solo. Now she's got two twin girls of her own. She's thousands of miles away from me, but somehow, however cheesy it sounds, I know she's seeing the same night sky I am and it helps to know we're still connected.

Pie, Music, and Haircuts

Last night wasn't too unbearable. When I entered the door, Sue jumped up to give me a hug. She said she was glad to see me and I said, "Yeah. You, too." Not very eloquent, I know. But it's hard to talk when biting one's tongue. ;o)

I stayed far enough away from her that she didn't feel the need to converse with me too much. When I finally relaxed, I was able to make small talk with her and the rest of the night was pretty good. There were tons of other family there, not just the siblings. The table was covered with pie, chips and dip, coffee, juice, and ice cream. I had one piece of pie...blueberry. Our Aunt Vivian was there. She especially liked the guacamole and we all loved that she kept calling it glaucoma. She knew its proper name, but told us all a story about a time she had a bit too much to drink and the harder she tried to pronounce guacamole, the more it sounded like glaucoma.

While we were eating, we enjoyed listening and singing along with Aunt Vivian's CD's. She had her granddaughter burn CD's with all of her favorite songs on them. Al Jolson, Frank Sinatra, Lena Horne...it was so much fun. Especially listening to all the stories. Each song seemed to have a memory attatched.

After most of the family left, Sue started cutting hair. She didn't cut mine, although she was trying to talk me into letting her give me layers. I was so tempted but when I cut my hair back in November, a lot of my natural curl showed up and now my hair is wavy. The shorter areas sometimes look as if I have ringlets. I'm afraid to see how curly it will get if I take any more length off the top and sides. She said I could do it tonight if I feel like it. She leaves tomorrow.

Jocko's dad had quite a scare lastnight. His heartbeat was unstable and his blood pressure dropped way down. They were afraid that if they didn't bring it back up in time, his kidneys would fail. He managed to pull through but his family was told to expect another dip like that before he is fully recovered. Please continue to pray for him.

Crazy Weather

We had just about every kind of weather possible today. Sunshine, wind and rain, hail, wet snow, back to sun, more rain. Being without a vehicle made it difficult to get things done today. I had to make quick, mad dashes whenever it looked as if I could get somewhere and back without getting drenched or slammed with hail. It's days like this I'm so glad to live in a small town. Everything is about 5 mintues away.

I had to keep remining myself that today was actually Saturday and not Sunday. I still have all of next week to look forward to. After that, it's just one short month till Summer Break.

I skipped out on dinner with the family today. I know I have to face Sue soon enough. I just wasn't up to doing it alone. Tomorrow night we've been invited to share dessert with her. That I can handle...it's not until 7PM and we could use Michael's job as an excuse to cut out early. He starts at 6AM so it stands to reason he'll need to get to sleep early, right?

He has tomorrow off, though, so we're going to take a drive and watch some movies tonight. He'd been laid off so long, now that he's back at work, I miss him. He's working 12 hours a day. And with me home on Spring Break, that feels like a really long time.

First Day of Spring Break

Today has been a totally wasted day. I've just been lazing around the house. Haven't accomplished a thing.

The weather outside is beautiful. It's definitely springy out there. I may go for a walk soon...but I have to find the energy first. ha!

My husband started a job yesterday. Yay! He said the Dutch Harbor thing is still not out of the question, though...so I guess we'll see. He's supposed to be hearing from them by the 14th.

The widow of my husband's brother Merle has come to visit. She wants to see the head stone placed on the grave. She arrived yesterday but I haven't seen her yet. I'm actually dreading it. I lost respect for her after the funeral. She and her two kids were on a boat with Merle's only natural child. The conversation almost immediately went to insurance. How much was there, who gets a share, how big of a share. Sue, the widow, decided that since she was the recipient of the money she would split between herself and her two kids. What? What about Merle's son? When he tried to speak up, Sue's daughter said, "Why should we have to give up any money for you?" They were definitely showing their true colors. This after telling the rest of the family that Merle loved her kids like his own and she loved his son as her own. How much did she give this other "son" of hers? $1500.00! That's appalling. Merle's son has asked the family not to get involved. He said he doesn't want things to be about money. He's trying to keep the peace for his dad's sake. That doesn't mean I have to pretend to like her. Maybe someday, but I just can't face her. I'm afraid I might tell her what I think and that would be bad.

Little Bits

Jocko's dad is in a hospital in Seattle. They removed the dead skin from both his arms today. His body responded well so on Friday they'll operate again and get most of the other burned skin. He's in critical but stable condition.

The fire apparently started in Jocko's bedroom. They're not saying how.

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Today was a long, boring day at work because of the testing. My morning was the longest because I didn't have any classes at all. Tomorrow, though, will be extremely busy. Two of my classes are not testing so they'll be in computers. Since we don't have school on Friday, I rescheduled 2 of my Friday computer classes to Thursday. So rather than 2 morning classes, I'll have 4. Normally, I have 3. I'll be ready for Spring Break by the time that 2:45 bell rings.

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I had Craig's class in library the other day. One of his classmates was trying to find a book in the non-fiction section. I encouraged him to go to the Easy Reader section to get a book at his reading level.

Craig heard me and said, "Yeah, these are Hard Readers and they're for 6th grade. Maybe 5th grade, right, Aunty Kerri?"

"Yes, Craig, that's correct," I lied. We usually let them start getting books from that part of the library in 2nd grade.

"You know what, Aunty Kerri? In 10th grade, they have really hard readers. 11th grade readers are very hard and 12th grade readers are even harder than that!"

I LOVE the way that kids mind works!

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Today was a nice spring day. The skies were blue almost the entire day and the wind has calmed down quite a bit. The temperature was about 49 but nobody complained. It was nice to see the blue skies.

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When we return from Spring Break, there will be one month left before graduation. The week after that we'll be off for the summer. I can't believe how fast this school year went by.

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By next week, we should know if Michael's going to leave for Dutch Harbor or not. I have mixed feelings about that. I kinda want him to go because it would be a good experience for him and it's been a long time since he's worked. At the same time, I want him to stay because it's almost construction season and he'll be back at work again. I feel like a yo-yo. Just when I think I've decided how I feel, I get yanked back and have to start all over.

Listen to the Whispers of Heaven

Reach up to the heavens with arms open wide
Take hold of its beauty, breathe it inside
Take in its majesty, memorize its grand views
Engulf its bright lights and magnificent hues

Look above the aged trees that touch the sky
And listen to the whispers of the mourning cry
Listen through the whirring breezes and you can hear the names
Sobbing with great heartache, crying out with such pains
Names of all loved ones with silent prayers unsaid
Echoing with profoundness inside my head

And now the sun burns in my ears your sweet voice
Saying don't thirst for what once was, this is the Lord's choice
Now I know there's beauty below, but up here there's no compare
There's no pain, no heartache, there's no despair
You can lay your head upon the angel's knee
And know no pain, just filled with such glee

I know you miss me, I miss you too
But I'm sending an angel to watch over you
The angel will let you know I'm always near
To ease your heartache and wipe your tears
And the next time you reach up to the heavens above
You'll feel the kiss of all my love

So please don't let the grief consume your soul
And remember through God, you too can be whole
And when you think you can no longer stand
I'm up here in heaven with God, waiting to take hold of your hand
So listen beyond the whispers of the mourning and you'll see
I'm with the Lord our God
I'm finally free

:o)

From Kindergarten through the 12th grade, I had a best friend. We were so close, and together so often, people called us the Bobbsy Twins. We did everything together. I was her Maid of Honor, she was mine. The only thing we did not do alike, was have children. She's got 3, from 7 to 13 years old.

Since marriage and parenthood, we've drifted a little. I still consider her to be a very good friend, but finding time to spend together is difficult.

I have taught each of her children. I still have 2 of them. I'm always friendly with them, as they are with me.

The thing is, I haven't felt particularly close to them. I'm not usually involved with their family doings, nor them in mine. I had no idea who I was to them. Meaning, aside from being one of their teachers, I had no idea how they saw me. My friend has never told me how she refers to me.

Last night I got a phone call. I didn't recognize the phone number on caller ID. Michael answered and handed me the phone. I asked who it was and he shrugged. "Sounds like a little girl."

I took the phone and said hello.

"Aunty Kerri?"

"Yes," I replied, still trying to figure out who it was. I'm used to kids not related to me calling me Aunty. They hear it enough from my numerous nieces and nephews they probably think it's my name.

"This is Denise..." and she went on to ask me what she needed. She said thank you and we hung up.

"Wow." Was all I could say when I hung up.

Michael asked, "Who was it?"

"That was Denise...she called me Aunty!"

I was surprised, but delighted. I must have smiled for an hour afterwards.

As Long As I Don't Turn My Head

I feel like I have a pinched nerve in the back of my shoulder. It's been aching for 2 days now. Today is worse than yesterday, though, because now it hurts to move my head. That's not good when you have recess duty. I have to turn my head in order to monitor all the kids. By the end of the 20 minutes I was on duty I was almost in tears.

On the plus side, testing doesn't start until tomorrow so the kids were pretty good.

I'm going to sign off now...hurts to have my hand on the keyboard. But really, I'm fine. As long as I don't turn my head.

Weirdness

I have been having some pretty strange dreams lately. The past couple nights, my dreams are more like home movies. It's like I'm reliving the past. All the people who have passed on have been "visiting" me in my dreams. I'd remember something that happened years ago and then after seeing it all happen again, whoever it involved would somehow find their way into what appeared to be my present life. We'd sit and talk as if they were never gone.

Those dreams are comforting, in a way. But I've also had these dreams where disasters are happening. Things that I have no power to stop and they always end badly. I wake up in a cold sweat almost in tears and all tensed up.

Last night I had a different sort of problem. Rather than waking up from weird dreams, I couldn't get to sleep. I was awake until well after 3AM. I'm not sure if the exact time because I covered the clock. I tried everything I could think of and just could not get to sleep. Strange thing is, I don't feel tired today.

Hopefully, I'll be able to fall asleep at a halfway decent hour tonight and have a restfull nights sleep. This coming week at school is going to be chaotic. The kids are doing state testing and it's a short week because Spring Break starts on Friday and we'll be off until the 18th. The kids are going to be a mix of emotions which can drastically change their behavior. Oy.

Not a Good Day

Today has been especially hard for our small, close-knit community.

As a teenager, I did a lot of babysitting. One of the families I babysat for had 3 girls and 1 boy. The boy, nicknamed "Jocko", was like Jekyll and Hyde. Some days, he'd be a terror, others he was sweet and adorable. Okay, most days...at least most of the days I choose to remember.

Anyway, his 20th birthday was coming up in July. He'll never see it.

His family's home caught on fire early this morning. His parents and sisters all escaped. Nobody knows why Jocko didn't leave the house. I'm hoping he was asleep, because thinking otherwise will give me nightmares for the rest of my life. His father ran back into the burning home to try and find him. He came back out on fire himself, unable to save his son.

We lost Jocko and his dad has been sent to Seattle with multiple 3rd degree burns. His youngest sister is just a freshman in high school.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

I guess it's finally time to admit my baby is growing up. True, Lucione is not MY baby. I did not give birth to her. But she's spent the majority of her life with me. So much so, that she sometimes feels like mine. Others have, and still do, mistake her for mine.

She still likes to cuddle up with me when we watch TV. She still likes to have tickle fights. She still can't leave my house without a goodbye kiss and hug and a shout of "I love you more!" She's still my baby.

But...her birthday is coming up. April 14th. I asked her what she wanted for her birthday.

"I want a razor."

"A what?!"

"A razor. But I promise if you get me one, I won't use it till like a week after my birthday."

I was speechless. I think I was around the same age when I started to think about things such as shaving my legs. I just never thought her turn would come so soon. I told her I wasn't going to buy her a razor because her mom already knows she wants one and she doesn't need more than one. I wasn't about to admit I didn't want her to grow up.

"Okay, then can I have some Mini-Mart gift certificates?"

That I can handle. A few certificates so she can buy a hamburger or rent a movie. I'll buy her 10 if she wants them. haha

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The other day in school, we had Craig in science class. It was a "filler" day, meaning we had to make up a quick lesson because the seeds we needed for their plant lesson hadn't arrived. We started by introducing isotopes to the kids. They were looking at a poster with 4 different isotopes on it and were asked to list things that were similar or different between them.

One of the kids said they all have shells. Craig said, "Oh, you mean exoskeletons?" We hadn't discussed the term exoskeleton with this class before so the other teacher and I were surprised.

After the isotope lesson, we had some free time so we read the book, "What is a Bellybutton?" together. If you're not familiar with it, it's a book full of questions kids may ask about their bodies. What is a belly button? Why doesn't it hurt to cut my hair?

We discussed the question, "Why do I have to get shots when I'm not sick?"

The other teacher tried to explain that we need to get immunizations in order to keep from getting sick. She said, "The shots have a little bit of the germs in them so our bodies can develop 'germ killers'. That way, if we ever do get sick, the 'germ killers' will help us get well."

Craig asked, "Don't you mean 'white blood cells'?"

The teachers jaw just about hit the floor.

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Here's another Craig story I forgot to share a couple weeks ago. It was time for them to go back to their classroom after their science lesson. The other teacher said, "Okay, if you're wearing pink, you may line up."

One of the boys said, "Aww, man! That means only girls get to line up first!"

Craig looked at him, raised a finger in the air and said, "Well, ya know...it takes a TRUE man to wear pink!"

I've Got Some Catching Up to Do

I'm so sorry I've been slackin'. I guess I've got some catching up to do.

Let me start with my dad's homecoming. We went over to town on the ferry to pick him up. He looked so relieved to be home, even if only part way there. We stopped at Wal-Mart because my dad needed some Icy-Hot patches for his sore knee. Then we went to lunch. My dad told us all about his stay in the hospital. He told us how he unplugged his portable EKG in order to take a shower and put the hospital staff in a panic because they thought he died. He told us how he'd hold his breath to make little boxes on his monitor as a way to entertain my niece who had gone to visit him. This also brought the nurses running. They thought he was having trouble breathing.

That's my dad for ya. He always has his sense of humor. Here he was, confined to a bed, needles and wires everywhere, and he still found a way to smile.

It was so nice to have him all to myself for a few hours. I almost hated to get out of the car when we finally got back to our island.

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Easter Sunday was miserable. Not because of mother-in-law induced guilt like I had anticipated, though. I got a terrible cold over the weekend. I went to my church because it's closer to my home. I skipped out on dinner because I didn't think they'd appreciate me coughing and sneezing all over them.

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I'm still coughing, and stayed home today because I couldn't find my voice this morning. I went back to bed and slept all day. Not just a long nap. ALL day long. I didn't get up until after 5PM. Now it's almost 10PM. I should be getting ready to go back to bed, but I'm wide awake. Great. I feel a little better, though, so I guess that's the good news.

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I'm sure there was more I was supposed to post about but I can't remember right now. I hate it when that happens. But oh, well. Good night. :o)

So Nice to Be Stress Free

With Dad home and feeling better, it's nice to be able to relax. I almost feel as if I took an entire week off from, I don't know...Life. The entire week he was in the hospital is just a blur to me.

He's got the best sense of humor, though. We have a channel on our local cable that allows you to put advertisements, announcements, or whatever sort of text message you want for a small fee. My dad's starts off like this:

I'm back and the plumbing has been fixed!

He goes on to say his thank yous and ends with:

Thanks, from my heart!

Gotta love the guy. He reminds me so much of my grandfather. The same sense of humor, the same ability to put you at ease in any situation.

Now we're busy focusing on Easter. We're torn between going to my church for church or my mother-in-law's.

My entire family goes to my church and I feel the most comfortable there, but my mother-in-law has a habit of making you feel guilty when you go against her wishes. "It's not intentional," her kids always tell me...but I'd still rather not deal with it. Especially since we've been told we have to eat at her house for Easter dinner.

Anyway, Lindsey and Theodore are here so I better go check on them.

Yuck!

It's stories like these that make me glad to live where I am.

Where'd my post go?

Going to Pick Up Dad

I called in to work today and told them I would not be in. No, I'm not sick. I'm going to Town to pick up my dad! I didn't know until this morning. I feel kinda bad for calling in at the last minute but I feel like my dad's been gone for ages and going over will give us some alone time. Judging by the phone calls and the people stopping me on the street, I know he's going to have tons of visitors when he gets home.

So anyway, I'm off! If you're reading this, I hope your weather is as beautiful as mine and you have a wonderful day!

Procedure Was Successful

My dad's procedure was successful. They found blockage in 3 different places. Two were close to 80% blocked and one was less than 20% blocked. The two that were the worst are now cleared and stints have been placed. The other will be treated with medication.

He has been released from the hospital with instructions to not lift anything heavy for a few days, take at least 2 weeks off of work and report to the hospital over in town for a check-up after the 2 weeks. They'll tell him then if he is cleared for a return to work or if he needs more time off.

They said after a couple days he should slowly resume his regular activities. As long as he takes care of himself he should be fine.

He sounded so relieved when I talked to him today. I called their cell phone and caught him at Denny's. I don't know if that would have been my first choice for his first meal outside the hospital, but it was the closest restaraunt to his hotel.

Anyway, we're all relieved that things went so well for him and I can't wait to see him. The flights home are booked for a couple days so I probably won't see him until Thursday. That's okay, though. At least I know he's okay! :o)

Mother Nature Has a Sense of Humor

After giving us about 2 weeks of nice Spring-like weather, I woke up to at least 2 inches of snow and it's still falling! Good grief...it's almost Easter. It should NOT be snowing! Sure, I know I live in Alaska, but it's Southeast Alaska...maritime climate...warmer temperatures...4 definite seasons. *sigh* I'll just have to be patient, I guess.

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My dad should be in the O.R. as I type this...or where ever it is they do angioplasty. The doctors tell him he should be just fine afterwards. Other than the intial chest pain he had, he has no other symptoms and he's in good health, otherwise.

I've been instructed to go to work today and not worry about him. I'm also to come home for lunch and call to check up on him.

Even in Seattle, he's had phone calls and visitors. He said it made him feel good that people were thinking about him. I know exactly how he feels. I can't leave the house without someone asking how he's doing and telling me that they are praying for him.

I never really thought about it before, but it's nice to know so many people care. Especially in stressful situations like this.

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Time to go sweep the porch so I can head off to work. What a fun way to start the week!

Dad Update

They sent my dad to Seattle first thing this morning on an air medi-vac. The doctors will monitor him over the weekend and by Sunday night, Monday morning at the latest, decide whether they'll start him on meds, do an angiogram or angioplasty, or open heart surgery.

They're pretty sure he will not need open heart surgery. I'm kinda hoping they do the angiogram or angioplasty. They've had him on meds before and look what's happened.

I'm not as panicked as I was before. Talking to my dad helps. He's in good spirits and very optomistic. I can't help but feel the same after we hang up the phone.

Thanks to those of you who have been so supportive and encouraging. Also, the prayers and good thoughts are very much appreciated.

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Now I'm off to the town hall for a day of basketball:

Lucione vs. Alexys at 1:15 (15 minutes from now!)
Lindsey at 2:30
Lucione again at 6:15
Lindsey again at 7:30
Alexys again at 8:45

At least I get a dinner break! :o)

Panic Attack is Over

Okay, here's the scoop:

My dad was experiencing a tightness in his chest along with some pain so he went to the clnic. They gave him nitroglycerin and the pain went away. That means something was going on with his heart.

They immediately decided to medi-vac him to town. Upon arriving at the hospital, they lowered his blood pressure, took about 5 vials of blood, and ran numerous tests on him until the wee hours of the morning.

He slept for just barely 2 hours and they woke him to give him a shot in his stomach in order to thin his blood.

There is some sort of enzyme in his blood that they do not like and are watching closely. Their next move will probably be a transfer to a hospital in Seattle so that they can run more tests. They want to do one where they insert a tube of some sort into one of his arteries to get a close-up look at his heart. They don't have the right equipment in town so he'd have to be sent to Seattle.

I've spoken to him on the phone and he sounds good...tells me he's okay...tells me not to worry or be alarmed if they send him south.

But he's my dad...of course he's going to tell me he's okay. He did sound good, though. It was so nice hearing his voice. When I posted lastnight I was in such a state of panic. I tried to go to bed and became an emotional wreck. I must have sobbed for an hour and a half before my husband was finally able to calm me down. Talking to my dad helped, though. I'm in a better state today. Just extremely tired. Don't tell me to get some sleep, though. It won't work. Everytime I start to drift off, the phone rings. Even if it doesn't, I can't let myself sleep because I don't want it to ring and not hear it.

It's going to be a long weekend. I can tell already. Please, if you have it in you, say a prayer for him.

omg...O..M..G....OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Somebody remind me to breathe.....seriously...

My step-mom just called. My dad's at the clinic and they're going to medi-vac him to the hospital tonight. He's had high blood pressure for a while and they're worried about his heart.

OMG!

I am freaking out. She said it's just a precaution...he's going to be fine. But, he's my daddy! He's supposed to be invincible. He's stronger than Superman. HE'S MY DADDY! HE ABSOLUTELY HAS TO BE OKAY!

He will be, right?

Right?

Pray for him, please!

Busy Doing....Nuthin

I don't really have an excuse for not posting this week. I just have not had the energy. I've had a weird stomach problem all week so haven't felt like doing much of anything. I have, though, been reading my favorite blogs and leaving comments here and there.

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Our weather has been beautiful all week. This morning it was a bit frosty and the moutnains turned white again overnight, but the skies are as blue as ever and the sun is shining.

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The junior high kids got their quarter grades the other day. Lucione got the highest gpa (3.86) in 7th grade and Alexys got the highest (also 3.86) in the 8th grade. I'm so proud of them. I knew they had good grades, but they're both at the top of the heap!

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My husband applied for a job with an environmental company. They clean up after oil spills and things like that. He got a call today from them asking if he wanted to help with the Dutch Harbor oil spill. He's seriously thinking about it. This is not helping my stomach ache any.

I hate the idea of him leaving and will miss him terribly while he's away, but I will not say no if he decides to go. He's been unemployed since the week after Thanksgiving and I know it bothers him to not be earning an income. The wages for this job, although it will only be 2 to 3 months, are more than double what he'd get if he stayed home and worked a construction job.

When he went north for his training for his CDL and hazardous materials certificates, he was gone for 3 months. So it's not like I can't survive on my own. We've already done this. But I know I won't like it.

The good thing is, it will make him happy. At least it's not mid-winter.

Spring Has Sprung!

It's hard to believe, but even as those on the east coast are complaining about more snow, SE Alaska is having beautiful spring weather.

The skies were blue all day and the temps were pretty warm, also.

Winter will always be my favorite season, but Spring is a close second. I love what Spring brings. New beginnings, new life, a fresh start.

I'm so ready for a new beginning.

Do You Ever Wonder if You're Good Enough?

For what, I don't know. I've just had this nagging feeling this weekend. Like I'm not doing something I'm supposed to be doing. Like I'm not the daughter/sister/wife I should be. I feel like I've let somebody down.

Maybe I've let myself down.

Maybe I'm just now realizing that I am not living up to my potential.

Will the Wind Ever Stop?

What a stormy day! I get soaked just walking to and from the truck! Of course, that could be because I can't run. My ankle started hurting yesterday and today it's starting to swell. I have no idea what I did. I was walking down the hall at school and felt this sharp pain in my left foot where it bends. On top...not by the ankle. I started limping immediately and thought it would be better by today since I hadn't twisted it or anything. I was wrong. It's gotten worse and now my other foot is getting sore as well as my back. Most likely from limping.

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In the comments of my last post, Jayleigh asked if my anger has lessened. I guess I could have posted earlier about this.

I was very angry when I typed up that post. I used my blog as a way to vent. I typed what I didn't have the heart to say to him. I knew he was feeling bad. I knew it wasn't intentional. I just had to let off some steam. After I calmed down he apologized and we were back to normal. It was just so frustrating to have that happen when it could have been prevented if I hadn't bought him that darn jar of licorice!

So, yeah, my anger has lessened. We won't need marriage counseling. We've already talked it through. We're good as gold now. :o)

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I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday. This week as felt especially long because I did not slow down at all last weekend. We were pretty much on the go from Friday morning until early Sunday evening when we got home. I was pretty exhausted when Monday morning rolled along and I had to head back to work.

I think we'll have Lucione for the weekend, but she's a piece of cake. Nothing like James and Alexys.

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Time to go elevate and ice my ankle.

Busy Week

I've had such a busy week so far. Because I had such a busy weekend, I don't really feel like I had one. Now I'm ready for another and it's only Thursday. haha

Today is going to be a Science day for me at work. I have to teach 3 science labs because the other science teacher called in sick. It should be fun. Plants, nutrition, and bess beetles. Quite the mix of topics!

Hopefully, the power will remain on. It's blowing pretty hard out there. Of course, our power has gone out on the calmest of days so you just never know.

I really don't have a lot to say...just wanted to post because I hadn't in a while.

If for some reason I don't post again for a few days: Have a wonderfully safe trip, Jayleigh. I know everything will be just fine. :o)

I'm So Mad I Could...

Actually, I can't even speak, forget doing anything else!

I collect Disney things. One of my first Disney collections was snow globes. I had the Christmas ones all together on a shelf in my bedroom.

Today after I arrived home from work, for some reason I'll never understand, Michael decided he needed to put his huge jar of red licorice on the same shelf. Not just on the shelf...on the front edge.

The shelf is full of snow globes. Snow globes are heavy. Why on God's green earth would you think putting another heavy object on the unsupported edge was a good idea?!

Hundreds of dollars worth of unreplacable Disney Christmas snow globes are now destroyed. There's no way I could find these even if I had the good fortune to live near a Disney store. They were all more than 10 years old.

I heard the crash, went to make sure he was okay, and just had to walk out of the room. I knew if I stayed in there I'd either cry or scream and I didn't want to do either.

After a few minutes, I went and asked him what happened. "It just gave way," he said, "I tried to catch it."

I said, "What were you doing? What made it give way? How'd your licorice get all wet?"

"It was up there."

That's when I got REALLY angry. Lucione is here doing her homework. She loves licorice. He was feeling greedy so decided to put it up where she couldn't reach it. Never mind the fact that it was already in the bedroom where she couldn't see it. Forget about the fact that she doesn't even know the licorice is there. Let's put a heavy jar of licorice up on a shelf already full of heavy objects. What a bright idea!

Now the shelf, the snow globes, AND the licorice are ruined.

I Survived!

I'm back from my weekend in town. We actually got home yesterday around 5:30PM but I didn't even turn my computer on. What a long weekend this was. I don't even feel like I had one because James moves at such a slow pace, we had to get up early every day.

That kid wore me out. Not because he was obnoxious or unruly; he's just so needy. There is not a lot he can do on his own. The basic things are easy for him, but things like cutting his meat or fixing a bed are difficult for him. He kept getting frustrated because I wasn't as quick to jump in and do it for him as his mother and grandmothers are. I kept getting frustrated because he was expecting me to do so much for him.

He's going to be 9 next month so it's not like I'm expecting too much from him. He's just so used to being catered to and waited on. He's not as independent as he should be at this age. No, I'm not expecting he should be able to totally care for himself. I just expect that he should be able to do simple tasks unsupervised. Things like packing an overnight bag. I asked him to put two outfits into his overnight bag and it took him 3 tries to get it right. He only got it right the third time because I stood over his shoulder and watched his every move.

At one point he got upset with me because he had to write his spelling words and cross out the silent letters in each word for homework. He said, "My dziish (our native work for grandmother) usually writes the words and I go through and cross out the letters."

I said, "Well, first of all, I'm not your dziish. Second, you are old enough to write your own words. It's good practice for you so get started."

He sat and pouted for almost 30 minutes before he finally wrote. He was lazy about it, though, so it ended up looking sloppy. BUT, he wrote them on his own. For the first time ever.

Being in town wasn't too bad. I raised my voice to him a couple times because he wouldn't quit arguing with me, but for the most part he behaved well. He's a chronic complainer but he's not whiny about it, thank goodness.

I'm just glad it's all over.

The only bad thing is, I've had a 4 day weekend and it doesn't even feel like it. I'm exhausted today. I wish it was Friday already.

Wish Me Luck

We're leaving in a few minutes to take the ferry to town. As James puts it, we'll have 2 sleeps in the hotel and then come home on Sunday.

Thank God for answered prayers! Not only did my tax refund get deposited this morning, the weather has calmed a bit so our ferry ride will not be very rough at all.

Now if He can only help me keep James entertained so he doesn't drive me nuts...

Three More Sleeps

There are 3 more sleeps until my niece comes home from medical school to intern at our clinic. That means 3 more sleeps till I can give her children back. I haven't had them this entire time. Their grandmother, my sister-in-law, has. She's down in Seattle this week helping her daughter pack up while she's busy at school taking tests and such.

I talk about this particular niece and nephew a lot (more the niece) but they've never stayed with me before. I am finding it difficult because I can tell that they pretty much run their own household and that's not how things work around here. They are not bratty. Not by a long shot. What they are, are creatures of habit. By the time they understand that my house is NOT gramma's house so things do NOT run the same here, it will be time for them to go home.

James is in 3rd grade. He is used to having things done for him. We didn't have school today so I let him move at his own pace for the entire morning. When he finally decided to take his shower (well after 11AM) it took him 3 tries to start it...and then Michael STILL had to go in to help him. He then had to go in again to turn off the water. Janelle was running her own showers at 5 years old. He can't do it at 9? He has no idea how to make a bed, either. His blankets are all different lengths and the top blanket is folded into a small square that sits right in the middle of the bed. I'm not trying to pick on him...I'm just surprised. He is far from independent. I'm not used to having to spell everything out for a child of his age. I have to tell him what to do, one step at a time, and even then, he always has a ton of questions.

"James, go brush your teeth."

"Okay, I brushed my teeth. Now what?"

"Put your pajamas on and read in bed for a few minutes."

"Okay, I have my pajamas on. Now what?"

"I told you...get in bed and read for a few minutes."

He goes to read...then comes out in about 10 minutes. "Okay, I read for a few mintues. Now what?"

"Go to sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

Every little task I ask of him goes the same way. Needless to say, today has been a long day.

His sister Alexys is adjusting better, but she's in 8th grade. I wouldn't have expected anything else. She is, though, fighting a cold and is supposed to go on a basketball trip tomorrow. I really hope she feels better because it would break both her heart and mine if she got worse and I had to keep her home.

So anyway, this explains my absence. I spend all my free time telling James what to do and can't find time to use the computer. The only reason I'm on now is because he is doing his homework. But since I've started typing this, he's been in 3 times to tell me he's not good at writing stories. I guess I should go help him. *sigh*

Just 3 more sleeps...

I So Cannot Wait For This Day to End!

For the most part, today was a pretty good day. But there were a few things that either irritated me, inconvenienced me, or made me sad. I'd just rather this day was over and done with already.

I did not want to get up today. I woke up with a headache. I should have taken that as an omen.

After being at work for about an hour, I realized I was sore. My back hurts...but not like I threw it out or anything...it's just achy. It starts between my shoulders and goes down to the middle of my back. Sitting up straight hurts my shoulders and slouching hurts my back so, yeah, very uncomfortable.

I had the chance to watch Craig try Tae Bo today. He was so cute!

There was a power surge in the middle school building today that completely fried anything that was plugged in. The wiring was for 110v and the surge bumped everything up to 220v. They had to immediately evacuate because the building filled wtih fumes that may or may not have been toxic and they feared a fire would start. In order for the power company to assess the damage, they had to shut off power to our building, as well. We sat in the dark for an hour and a half.

After lunch, the power finally came on, but classes were all messed up because the clocks were out of synch. Since when do teachers not wear a wristwatch? Sheesh.

About an hour before I came home, Michael called with some sad news. Our dog, Sebastian, who we've had for just over 12 years died. Michael was working outside and wondering why Sebastian wasn't moving. He thought he was just relaxing in the sun but upon closer inspection realized he was not breathing. Poor Sebastian. :o(

So it's been a weird day. I think I'll turn off the computer and enjoy the lovely pork roast dinner Michael cooked and just relax all evening. I don't feel like doing much else.

Weekend Round-Up

Okay, so I've been neglecting my blog. Not intentionally, though. In fact, it wasn't until I came to look at it yesterday that I even realized I hadn't posted.

So here's my week in a nutshell:

Monday: It was so hard for me to drag myself into work on Monday because it was President's Day and the whole tun was basically shut down. It felt like the only people who had to work that day were those of us employed by the school district. Once I got there, it was a normal day and I forgot all about the unfairness of it all. Thinking ahead to the 3 months off helped a little. *giggle*

I also had fun driving my sister-in-law nuts on Monday. It was her birthday and she was hoping to keep it under wraps. When she wasn't looking, I made a banner, colored it, and hung it up on her office window. I should get an academy award for the acting job I did afterwards. I played dumb like the best of them and she still hasn't figured out who did it.

Tuesday: Yoga day in science...see post below.

Wednesday: Just a plain, non-eventful day.

Thursday: We had high school basketball games that day. It totally threw me off. Basketball is a weekend activity around here. Going to a game on a Thursday made it extremely dificult to get up on Friday. It made me feel as if I were going to work on Saturday. Our junior varsity girls won by 20 but the varsity girls lost by 7.

Friday: Paydays that fall on Fridays are especially good. It gives you 2 reasons to look forward to the end of the week. The junior varsity girls won again, by 15. The varsity lost by 5.

Where Did My Week Go?!

What? I haven't posted since Tuesday? Good grief!

I guess I have been a little busy, but I didn't know it had been that long. I get online each day after work and read the blogs of others, but have neglected my own. Oops!

I've been testing for the past 2 weeks so by the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is sit in front of my computer for long periods of time.

Lindsey's been wanting to spend a lot of time with me lately. Normally, that's not a problem, but I think she's going to start "developing" soon. If she's not, I don't know how else to explain these drastic mood swings she's been having. She'll be laughing and joking one minute and then turn around and either be so angry she can't speak or start crying. Another minute and that blows over and she's happy again. Over and over again ALL DAY LONG. I can't figure out what sets her off or even what makes her snap out of her moods. All I know for sure is that it's exhausting and I'm getting tired of dealing with it.

She's on her way here as I type this. I hope things go smoothly today. If this is a phase, I hope it's a short one. If it is a sign of things to come, God help me 'cause I'm gonna need it!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Here's another Craig story for ya:

He had science yesterday morning. We're doing a health unit this quarter. We've studied the skeleton, the lungs, the heart, teeth, safety and first aid, etc.

This week we're studying stress. What causes it, how can you relieve it....

So the other science teacher got an idea. "I want to teach the kids yoga!"

"They seem a little young to me, but if you think they'll enjoy it, go for it," I told her.

So there they are...a bunch of 1st graders sitting in the Candle position. She's trying to explain how yoga helps you to relax and the slow breathing helps you let go of stress and the kids are chattering away, giggling about the "light" they couldn't seem to see or feel. Time to change position. This time it's Dog, known to yoga officianados as Downward Dog, I guess.

Next thing you know, Craig speaks up. "Actually, this is not very laxing."

The other teacher and I are trying so hard not to giggle.

Now it's Twisted Pretzel. Again Craig speaks up, "Does laxing mean get twisted up? 'Cause that's all I feel."

They did about 2 or 3 more positions before they were allowed to put their shoes back on and get ready to go back to class.

"Aunty Kerri," Craig said, "I don't think that was very laxing at all. I have other ways to lax."

Yeah, I guess you had to be there.

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Anyway, here's a quick story about another boy, Walter.

Walter is behind developmentally. His muscle tone is not good at all. So much so,that he can't even hold a pencil correctly. His speech, although he's improved so much this year, also needs a lot of work.

To his credit, he couldn't communicate when school first started and when he did try, he was hard to understand. Now I can actually hold little conversations with him.

So yesterday at recess time, he walks into the guidance counselor's room for indoor recess.

"My shoes on backwards!" he said. Then he looked down at his feet and thought for a moment. He crossed one foot in front of the other and exclaimed, "But now they're not!"

Madisyn is Back Home :o)

According to her big brother (a 4th grader), Madisyn is at home now but only allowed to lay on the couch all day. She won't return to school till next week and then she'll have to choose indoor recess because - and I quote - she bonked her head so hard and if she chooses outdoor recess and bonks her head again, she'll have to go all the way back to Seattle.

In Honor of President's Day...

Here are 20 Things You Didn't Know About U.S. Presidents

I Can't Believe I Did It!

I finally broke in the clippers last night and gave Michael a haircut. I guess it wasn't all that bad for a first try. He really, really needed a cut so this was an improvement. As long as you don't look too carefully, it's a pretty decent cut. I forgot to take a "before" picture and was so relived to be done, I didn't bother to take an "after" shot.

Even if I don't ever cut his hair again, the clippers already paid for themselves. It would normally cost a trip to Town plus the haircut and a little shopping. He says that every time I cut his hair, it will get easier and easier. I say I was crazy to try it and can't guarantee there will be a next time! haha

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Madisyn is alert and as inquisitive as ever. Whenever her doctor tries to do something, she wants to know why. She's doing so well, she may even get to come home this weekend. I cannot tell you how happy that makes me. Like I said, she's not a relative, but I love kids and this particular one is just too adorable. She's extremely bright (She started Kindergarten at age 4 so she's the youngest and smallest in her class.) and friendly. She can't say her r's properly so she sounds really cute when she talks. She's one of those kids who manages to find trouble and get away with it because no one has the heart to yell at her sweet little face. The photo below doesn't really do her justice. She's a little doll.

Prayer Request (Updated)

I know my blog doesn't get read by many, but every little bit helps. If you have it in you, say a prayer or at the very least, think good thoughts for a little girl named Madisyn.

She's not related to me, but she's such a sweet child. She is the cutest little thing. Quite the chatter box, but extremely bright and always smiling. Class is just not the same without her around.

Yesterday after school she was hit by a car. The impact was so hard, that her little body was knocked out of her shoes and she was thrown through the air. She has been transported to Seattle. Please, please, PLEASE say a prayer for her.


Sweet, little Madisyn singing and signing at the Christmas program. 

Update: According to her grandfather, Madisyn has a skull fracture by her ear and internal bleeding.

"Happy Valentimes Day, Ms. Kerri"

I heard that over and over again today. I even received some goodies. Cupcakes, lollipops, cards, candy hearts, cookies...

Why do kids say ValentiMes, anyway? I always make sure I reply with, "Happy ValentiNe's Day, (insert child's name here)." But they never seem to hear it. From Kindergarten up through 6th grade, they all said ValentiMes. heehee

All in all it was a good day. We decided we weren't going to exchange gifts or anything for Valentine's day, but Michael surprised me with a nice dinner. He made cornish hens. It was prepared in a way I had never had them before and I must say, they were very delicious!

We didn't have a lot of alone time, but that was by choice. Lucione was here when it was time to eat so we fed her. Then we went and spent some time with an aunt of mine. She happens to be one of my, if not THE, favorite aunts of mine.

My uncle passed away quite suddenly a couple years ago in January. She misses him terribly. Especially right now because the tournament we wathced this weekend was a memorial tournament in his honor. He was one of the biggest supporters of youth basketball in the community so it was only right it be named in his honor.

My aunt, too, is a very important pillar of our community. Whenever something needs to be done, she's called upon and she always delivers. Everyone in the community, young and old, call her either aunty or gramma whether they are related or not. Everyone loves her.

We brought her some of the fresh bread that was baked yesterday. She was so happy to receive it.

Now I think I'll go watch some TV with Michael. I hope you all had a nice Valentine's Day. :o)

Please, NO MORE Basketball!

What a long weekend this turned out to be. It's time's like this I kick myself for making promises. My nieces and nephews ask me to watch them play ball and, of course, I always promise I will. Then it comes time for a tournament and it's non-stop basketball for what feels like eternity.

Yesterday, Lindsey had a game at 9AM. Lucione had a game immediately following at 10:15. James followed her at 11:30. Quick break for lunch and then it's back to the gym to watch Lindsey's 2nd game at 2:00. I could only watch half, though, because Alexys had a 2:30 game at the other gym. Quick break for dinner. Then it was back to the gym to watch Lucione again at 5:45. Immediately following her game, was James' 2nd game at 7:00. Then the little "Wanna Be's" (4, 5, and 6 yr. olds) played. Then it was time for the awards ceremony. By the time it was all said and done, it was 9PM.

Twelve. Straight. Hours. Of. Basketball.

I tried to sit at my computer last night, but even in this soft chair, it hurt to sit! Seven games in one day after watching for 4 hours on Friday night was hard on my rear-end. hahaha

The kids did really well, though. I'm beat today because I got into a movie and didn't go to sleep until after 3AM.

Michael's busy baking bread so it will be a slow day at home, thank goodness. The weather is beautiful. We got a dusting of snow yesterday morning, and today the sky is bright blue. It's just cold enough to need a coat but not so cold that you don't want to be outside. Unless, of course, you're as worn out as I am.

Counting today, we have 5 blissful, basketball-free days before the high school girls have games on Friday and Saturday. Whew!

Friday mini-post

I’m still not feeling up to par but I went to work anyway. I just got tired of being home. Cold medicine knocks me out so I spent the better part of Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday asleep or at least lying down because of lack of energy.

I still have a headache, but I didn’t have a fever today so I decided to tough it out. Friday’s are pretty easy for me, anyway.

I had Craig’s class for computers first hour. He always makes dragging myself to work worth it and he didn’t disappoint me today.

He’s having a friend stay at his house overnight tonight and he is all excited. He was telling his friend all about how they will spend their time.

At one point, he said, “And guess what my mom told me?! We get to stay up ALL night! We don’t even have to go to bed until 8 o’clock!”

I don’t think he’s in bed by 8:00 on school nights. Haha

He gave me another one of his informative lectures today, too. He said that fish have to live in water because they can’t breathe in the jungle or forest. When I asked him why, he rolled his eyes at me.

“Aunty, you KNOW fish have to breathe with gills! Gills only work under water.”

He enjoys learning new things. I hope he keeps that hunger for knowledge. He retains so much of what he hears – even when you think he’s not listening.

I’m going to try and go to the basketball games tonight. Even if I only watch 2, I have to get out of the house. Going to work helped but it was, well, work! There are games all day tomorrow, too, so if I don’t post, you know why. ;o)

I Have Returned...

...from the land of the almost dead. At least that's what it felt like. I woke up Monday morning with a terrible headache. I went to school knowing it was not going to be a full day for me (kids got released at 1:15 and I didn't have to participate in the workshop so I left around 2:30) hoping my headache would subside after swallowing a couple Tylenol. By mid-morning, I realized my headache didn't subside...it didn't even feel a tiny bit better...and I was starting to sneeze. By the time I left school my sinuses were completely plugged and my headache was 10 times worse.

I went to bed early that night but when I awoke the next morning I could barely lift my head off the pillow. I couldn't breathe, I was in pain (head and neck), and I was cold. I had a temperature of 99.8 so stayed home. Things only got worse. Yesterday I didn't even get up out of bed until 9:40PM and then I was back in bed by 11:00. Wide awake until 3:30AM or later and dead tired at 6:30 when my alarm went off.

I took off 3 days in a row. I hate missing work but it was better to have it happen this week than next week or the week after. There are only 2 more weeks in the 3rd quarter so I have to do testing for the next 2 weeks. I can't miss work during testing because I don't trust anyone else to do it properly.

A perfectionist, I am not. I just like things to be done right. :o)

There is a little league basketball tournament going on this weekend. It started tonight, actually. I'm missing out. :o( Michael asked me to come along but I haven't been at work in 3 days, so I figured it best to just stay home. There's always tomorrow and Saturday.

Being that I have not left the house since returning from work Monday afternoon, I really don't have anything to talk about. Hmph. Such a boring life I lead. Hee hee

Family Surprises

Remember my uncle who was in the hospital back in September? Well, he's traveling to Anchorage tomorrow for a check-up/follow-up with some doctors up there. He's fine, just being careful.

Anyway, he's my mom's older brother. My mom also had a younger brother. I never really knew him because I was a baby when he was hit by a car and killed in Oregon. I've heard stories, though, about how he'd spend his lunch hours not eating but playing with me when he was home for Summer breaks. I've been told that on the day of his funeral, I quietly cried at the exact time he would normally walk through my door which also happened to be the time the funeral started. I was a baby so I don't know...but that's what I've been told.

So anyway, I had this other uncle I didn't get the chance to know. Apparently, nobody in the family knew him as well as they thought. A couple months ago, a girl who grew up here in our village met a man in Anchorage through work. He found out where she was from somehow and asked her if she knew of a certain family from here. She said she'd look into it. She went home and called her mother who is also from here but lives in Bethel. She called my uncle. She told him there was a man looking for our family and asked him what she should do about it. Uncle told her to go ahead and give his contact information to him and he'd see what he had to say.

Turns out that my uncle had a girlfriend while in Oregon. Before his last Summer home, he broke up with her and got back together with a former girlfriend he ended up proposing to. When the girl found out she was pregnant and that my uncle was engaged to another, she decided to put the baby up for adoption.

He was adopted by a doctor in Anchorage. He's a doctor now, too. He's 37 years old and tried to contact his birth mother but she would not respond. She has made it clear that she doesn't want any contact with him whatsoever.

My uncle leaves tomorrow. While he's up there, he's going to meet a nephew (my cousin) that he never knew he had. If this man is really who he says he is, I hope that he finds his way down here. I've only seen pictures of his father. It would be so neat to be able to meet his son.

Superbowl Sunday

I can't believe I haven't posted all weekend! I guess it's mainly because I didn't have anything worth posting about.

Saturday was pretty uneventful. Other than the 4 inches of snow we got, that is. We took a long drive all to enjoy the scenery. Saturday night Lucione and her mom came by for an unexpected visit. We had some popcorn and watched the Tom and Jerry movie. It was one of Lucione's favorite movies as a small child. She used to use my back scratcher as a cane and dance along with the characters in the movie. I couldn't talk her into doing it for us, though.

Today was another beautiful day. No snow, but clear blue skies all day. We didn't venture out, though, other than church. What little snow was left on the roads froze last night so we were a little nervous to drive. We didn't leave the house until just before kick-off.

We watched the superbowl at the house of my husband's cousin. It was fun. There were only 5 of us there. His cousin fried some chicken and made a delicious potato salad. The only complaint I have is someone smoked a cigar and now I smell the smoke on me. Everytime I turn my head...it's in my hair. ick

I didn't really care who won the superbowl. I was hoping the Steelers would make it in. Since they didn't, I just pulled for whoever was behind. hee hee

Now that I'm home, I think I'll take a quick shower to get rid of this awful smell and get some sleep.

TGIF

I'm so glad today is Friday. This week did go by sort of quickly, but I'm always relieved when the weekend arrives.

The rain still has not stopped. The mountains got some snow over the past few days, but nothing down here at sea-level. At least the wind has died down.

I have a couple of Craig stories to share. One took place in the library at school. He and one of his classmates were standing in line waiting for me to check their books back in so they could chose another.

The first boy said, "We had P.E. today. I should have wore my other shoes. They make me run fast."

Craig said, "Yeah? These shoes make me jump real high."

The first boy didn't believe him so he thought he'd do a demonstration. He jumped fairly high but dropped his book. When he landed, he slipped on the book and fell to the floor.

He was sitting there looking defeated. He looked at the bottom of his shoe, shook his head and said with a heavy sigh, "I stand corrected."

I could not wait till I finished checking books in and out so I could leave the room and laugh. He's so cute and the things that come out of his mouth always surprise me. He's got a very good vocabulary for a 6 yr. old. Sometimes it feels as if I'm talking with a short adult.

The only thing is, he's got an excellent memory so you have to be careful what you say around him. It may come back at you later!

The other day, Craig and his dad went over to my in-laws' house. My father-in-law likes to tease and most of the time Craig just rolls with it but every once in a while, he'll be in a cranky mood and won't feel like playing along.

So the other day he walks in and his yaya immediately started teasing him.

Craig looked at him and growled, "I can't wait till I'm 16 then I am SO out of here!"

If You Don't Support the War...

...at least support the troops. I have family who have gone to the war and back and some who are still there. For such a small community, it's unreal how many have served in the current war and Desert Storm.

Whether you agree with the war or not, please keep the troops in your thoughts and prayers. We (as a community and nation) have already lost too many. Thank you.

I'm Longing For...

Tranquility 

It's another stormy day today. High winds and heavy rain. Big surprise, I know. But I've had enough. I don't usually complain about the rain....it comes with the territory...but this is ridiculous.

The rain, my head cold that never seems to go away, and the hectic lives of my nieces all seem a bit much to handle at the moment. If I hadn't missed so much work at the beginning of the month, I'd take a personal day. But the way I'm feeling today, if I took a day off I wouldn't want to go back.

*****************

I can't believe that it's already February. That means the 3rd quarter of school is already more than half over. That's just crazy. It seems like just last week I was complaining about my new schedule and here I am just 4 months away from the end of the year.

*****************

Lucione seems to take after her mother in some respects. She forgot her trumpet yesterday. She "thinks" it's in the library. She better be praying she finds it today or she'll have one very upset aunty to deal with after school. heehee

*****************

I'm off to work now. My first class isn't until 9 today. Hopefully, by then my headache will be gone.

Rain, Rain Go Away!

Snowy mountain 

It's been raining so long I can't even remember when it started. I was thinking it was 2 weeks...but I think I said that last week so it may actually be 3 weeks of non-stop rain.

I don't mind the rain, really...but we don't just get rain. It comes with high winds most of the time. That means planes can't fly, which means we don't have mail coming in or going out. Having a ferry helps, but the ferry doesn't run everyday so mail service is sporadic during our heavy rainfall.

I remember when winter meant snow. We still get snow, but not like we used to. I remember being a child and being able to lie down and be covered by snow. My yaya's yard was higher than the road. My cousin and I would slide down the side of the yard all day long. It was only about 4 feet high but we felt like we were flying. We'd play out till we were frozen, go home for dinner, and then play again. We never got tired of it.

We loved playing on frozen lakes, too. I never used ice skates like she did, though. I'd just run and slide with my shoes. It was easier for me to help her when she fell if I didn't have skates on.

We always made a snowman but never had a snowball fight. Throwing things at each other never seemed like all that fun.

When I got older, I spent the better part of my winters dragging my smaller cousins on their sleds. They liked snowball fights. I would never throw snowballs at them. I'd let them throw at me and most of the time they'd miss, thank goodness.

Now that I'm grown, the winters are shorter. At least the snowy part of the winter. I look forward to the snow every year. There's something about a fresh blanket of snow. It makes the world seem so peaceful. Any imperfections in the landscape are temporarily covered up. Making the first tracks in the snow is always a thrill. It's as if the world is new. You're an explorer in a newly discovered land.

When you think about it, though, you don't need snow to be an explorer in life. Each new day brings new adventures; new discoveries around every corner.

What will tomorrow bring?


What will you find around the very next corner? 

For Jayleigh

Happy Birthday, Jayleigh!
(And your sister Dotty, too!)

Have a wonderful day and may
God continue to bless you
throughout the coming year!

Friday Fun!

The phrases below are written to sound like familiar everyday sayings. Can you figure them out? I dare you to try...out loud...in the presence of others. Haha!

1. Thick wallet ego sin beef ore thin aim go sawn.

2. Has gin tall has assume arraign.

3. Haul fur Juan in Juan fur haul.

4. Yoke ant half York ache Andy tattoo.

5. Dunk rye offers build me elk.

6. Cad cot shirt hung?

7. Toucan pull eighth hat came.

8. Bad sin tub elf free.

9. Abe herd Indy Andes word tuna Busch.

10. Though all salve veer is.

Torn (Updated)

My poor Lindsey got herself in trouble today. I happened to walk into the office to ask the secretary (Space Cadet aka Lindsey's mother) a question and saw Lindsey sitting there. She looked so sad. Her mother was on the phone so I asked her what was wrong.

"Nothing," was all she said...barely loud enough for me to hear.

"Did you get in trouble?"

"Uh huh."

She looked like she wanted to cry. She feels badly about something but I don't know what. I didn't stick around because if I had, she would have cried for sure.

Whatever she did, must have been pretty bad...this is only her 2nd trip to the office. She hardly ever acts out at school. When she does it's usually not serious enough to warrant a trip to the office.

I want to hold her and tell her everythings going to be okay, but I can't.

I want to know whats wrong and talk about it, but now's not the time.

*sigh*

*******UPDATED********

It's now 2:30PM. I did some investigating to figure out what happened. Lindsey was in Music class and was asked to play the guitar. She has never played before. She's never even touched one before. Her teacher sat her on a stool in front of the class and "told" her what to do. He didn't demonstrate, or even point to show her where her fingers went.

Lindsey is not good with change. She's still trying to accept her new music teacher. The previous music teacher had been her teacher from Kindergarten through 4th grade. She was comfortable with him and he was good with kids. This teachers new, the guitar is new... it was just overloading her little brain. When he finally did try to actually show her where to put her fingers, she had already felt defeated. She shut down and would not participate.

Part of me wants to sit her down and explain to her that change is a part of life. That teachers, like anybody else, will come and go and it's just something she'll have to learn to deal with. She needs to know that she has to deal with whatever comes along whether she likes it or not. At least as far as school is concerned. (She's stated that she wants her old music teacher back and does not want to go back to music class.)

The other part of me wants to kick the music teacher in the butt for being impatient and insensitive. Sounds like a harsh judgement, but I'm not just going by this one incident. Back in September, Lucione received her very first detention. She got it in band, from the very same music teacher. One of her classmates is completely deaf. She asked a question and it wasn't answered by the teacher so Lucione was answering her question... silently in sign language. They were not gossiping, they were not being obnoxious, she answered the question and that was the end of it. But the teacher gave her a detention for talking in class and causing a disruption. He didn't take into consideration the fact that she would not have been "talking" if he had taken the time to answer the deaf girls question in the first place.

So now he's punished both MY girls for things that were partially his own fault!

I will have the "change is a part of life" talk with her, but not until I've calmed down a bit. It's so upsetting to think a teacher could be so insensitive. He's trying to say she "came in looking unhappy". I think he's just trying to cover his own tracks. Whatever.

Which One Are You?

At yesterday's inservice, I spent a lot of time writing notes back and forth with my sisters-in-law because a lot of what the guy had to say was just common sense stuff. But there was one statement that caught my ear and I've had it on my mind ever since.

"When you find yourself in a difficult situation, don't be the thermometer, be the thermostat."

It probably caught my attention at first becuase it sounded silly. But it also made me think. Similar words, right? Both have to do with temperature.

But, a thermometer can only tell you what the current temperature is. A thermostat has the ability to control the temperature.

It got me thinking about how I react to situations I find myself in every day. Do I let my emotions control me or do I control my emotions?

I've been trying lately, to control my emotions and feelings when it comes to my interaction with other people. I mentioned the other day how I let someones comments about how I spoke get to me and I made a conscious effort to change. I didn't change because I wanted to. I changed because I didn't want to be humiliated again. I was a thermometer. I knew it wasn't a big deal, that I shouldn't have taken his words to heart but felt helpless to change the way I felt. I couldn't control my emotions so I let my emotions control me.

Another way to look at the same statement has more to do with being in a classroom or work setting. When you arrive and are in a bad mood and do nothing but complain, those around you will start to act the same way. You'll end up with non-productive, irritable people and have a miserable waste of a day. If you walk in and, even if you have to pretend at first, are happy and positive, others will feed off of your enthusiasm and the whole dynamic of the room will change in a positive way.

The only one who can decide what kind of day I'm going to have is me. If I choose to be a thermometer then I'm giving up control. I don't know about you, but I'm not willing to do that.

Bird's Eye View

Aerial view of my hometown. Told ya it was small! :o)

Hair Loss

Fifty thousand strands
Every time that I shampoo
How am I not bald?



It's scary, sometimes, how much hair I seem to lose when I shampoo. It always seems to be the dark hair. The white ones always get left behind. Hmph.

Today is National Hug Day

*BIG Hugs* to all my friends! :o)

My Daddy

Today is my dad's birthday. Being with him on his birthday and Father's Day is always a big joy for me. It brings back a rush of childhood memories.

I remember him putting me to bed and singing with me. I mentioned before how we used to end each song with "Ooohhh, Maaaannn!" When I started singing in church, he listened to my songs before I left for church and critique my performance. :o)

When Laura moved away, my dad took me fishing so I could just be alone with my thoughts on the water. We had some of our best talks on the water, but he always knew when I needed the quiet time and he'd just let me sit in the bow of our Boston Whaler and stare down at the jelly fish and things in the water as we slowly drifted along waiting for a bite. It wasn't always like that, though. There were plenty of fishing trips where all we did was talk and sing along with the radio or his cassette tapes. I was his good luck charm. He always caught the most when I was with him. We had our own secret spot where we were guaranteed at least 3 big king salmon each time we went there. It only worked if I was in the boat. :o) He taught me to steer the boat and bait the hooks like a pro. I miss our fishing trips.

When my mom left, Dad went through a rough period. He started drinking and stopped eating. He developed a stomach ulcer and often cried himself to sleep. I'd comfort him and never showed my anger or disappointment when he'd come home drunk. I learned to keep house at an early age because of this period, but I don't have any bad feelings about it. He didn't handle his grief as well as he could have, but it didn't last too long and he was back to being Daddy again in no time. He worked hard to support my sister and I, and then it was just the 2 of us.

As a small child, I'd watch the Tommy Hunter and Carol Burnette Shows with him. Later on, it was Cheers. Then Wheel of Fortune.

When I became engaged, he was not very happy. He thought I was young and foolish but I suppose all dads have a hard time letting go of their little girls. I am, after all, his youngest and we are extremely close.

I asked Michael to go and personally ask my dad for his blessing. That broke the ice and now they are as close as any father and son.

The day I got married is a day that will always be remembered by not only Michael and me, but the 400+ guests we had, as well. My dad, always the procrastinator, waited until the day of the wedding to go to Town and buy a new suit. Because all of Michael's groomsmen worked with him, we couldn't have the rehearsal until the morning of the wedding. One of Michael's sisters had to be my dad so I could practice walking down the aisle. The wedding was supposed to start at 7PM. At 6:45, my dad showed up at the church with a brand new suit and....old shoes. He walked into a bar in Town to use the phone. He put down his packages to dial and then wait for his taxi. When he got up to leave, he grabbed everything but his new pair of shoes. We had to delay the start of the wedding because we had to wait for the bartender to bring the shoes to the plane and then wait for them to arrive. The freight person brought the shoes directly to the church so we could start the ceremony. Michael's uncle took a close-up shot of my dad's shoes and we gave him a framed 8x10 as a gift for our first Christmas. He has it hanging in his kitchen. hee hee

Now that I'm an adult, we are still very close. I bake him a spice cake for every birthday and Father's Day. He'll often call me up and say, "I just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you." When my step-mom is out of town, Dad comes for dinner. He's an excellent cook but always complains he doesn't know how to cook for just one. Silly, Dad!

I've been blessed with a wonderful father. He is one of my best friends. Today is his birthday.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Daddy and his little girl.

Insecurities

(This is my 3rd time trying to post this today. Hopefully, that doesn't mean it will show up 3 times!)

I am not known for my self-esteem. My self-image is poor and I lack self-confidence. I'm aware of this and am trying to improve, but it's a long, difficult battle. I have a hard time accepting compliments and tend to take what people say to heart whether it's intended to be taken that way or not. The sad part is, I've even let the opinion of others change the way I behave, rather than be true to myself and that realization makes me feel even worse.

Here's an example: When I was in college, I had this friend. He was my best friend the entire time I was there. We did everything together from studying to sneaking off campus. I even took a few road trips with him to visit his home town.

It was during one of these road trips that I made a comment I immediately regretted. What I said was, simply, "I think you need to gas up your car."

He started laughing and asked, "Gas up? Gas up? What does that mean...gas up?" I explained that it meant he needed to fill the gas tank of his car. "Why didn't you just say that? Who says, 'Gas up'?"

I was so humiliated. I made a conscious decision at that point to never use that term again.

Fast forward to a couple months ago. I was chatting with Ahka one day and she said something about needing to gas up her van. I told her the story of my friend and we discussed why he thought it was so funny. We decided that it was maybe a regional term. Maybe we both said it because we were both raised in Alaska. (I think she just tried to convince me of this to make me feel better because that's the type of person she is.)

To this day, I stop myself from saying "gas up" and ask Michael to either "get gas" for, or "fill up" the truck.

Fast forward again...to yesterday. Aimee spent the weekend in Kansas City with some other bloggers. I was curious about her trip so visited the blogs of some of the other ladies who made the trip. I was reading comments and Aimee made a comment about seeing something "while you were gassing up your car."

Could it be that I'm not the one who was wrong? Maybe he was making fun of me before I could make fun of him for not knowing the meaning of a simple phrase?

The point, really, is not why he made the remark but my reaction to it. I made a conscious effort to change my vocabulary so as not to suffer the same humiliation again.

That's just one example. I'm sure if I thought about it, I could think of plenty more instances where someone else's opinion carried way too much weight with me.

I'm always telling my nieces that the opinions of others don't matter. I tell them that they are perfect just the way they are. I tell them that they are exactly what God wanted them to be and that as long as they accept themselves, what others think doesn't matter.

I think it's time to practice what I preach.

Prophetic Mini-Story

The following is a writing assignment from college. I tend to save way too many things and found this when I was looking through some old paperwork on Sunday. The assignment was to write a mini-story of 100-250 words. The only rule was that it had to begin with "They had nothing to say to each other."

They had nothing to say to each other. Their anger had been stewing all day. When Chantell arrived home from work, she walked straight to the bedroom without so much as a glance in his direction. She lay there in the dimly lit room trying so hard to hang on to her anger.

Then it hit her; an aroma from the kitchen. John always knew how to make peace. He had the knack for doing just the right thing just when it mattered most. It wasn’t always a cooked meal, but he must have known that she skipped her lunch break that day. She doesn’t eat when she’s angry.

The noises coming from the kitchen softened her. She cried quietly to herself; no longer angry, but ashamed.

She should have been the one to take the first step. Her stubbornness stopped her. It always does. The tears kept falling as she tried to figure out what she did to deserve him. He treats her so well even when she acts so childish.

John knew better than to force her to talk. He suspected she was crying and wanted so much to comfort her. He quietly entered the room. He sat beside her and without saying a word, took her hand.

Their eyes met and spoke to each other. They were both now certain that the fight was over. They both knew they would talk about it later. But for now, they had nothing to say to each other that they didn’t already feel.

I don't consider myself a writer by any stretch of the imagination, but upon finding this was amazed at how prophetic it turned out to be. Michael and I didn't really have a fight today...just a minor disagreement. He thought I should drag my butt out of bed and get to work and I disagreed. I gave into him eventually, but was not a happy camper because I did not sleep well at all last night. I refused to come home for lunch so he brought lunch to me. I tried so hard to hold a grudge, but wasn't able to. He's just too darn nice to me. He treats me so much better than I deserve most days. I am the luckiest woman alive to have found a man like him and I thank God every day for bringing us together. He always knows what to do to make me feel better. Even if it's to just keep coming by me. He apologized for making me go to work when I should have apologized for being so cranky. When I tried, he said, "I should have realized how tired you were. I made you cranky by insisting you get up." Sometimes it seems as if I can do no wrong in his eyes. A lot of times it feels as if I'm not doing anything right. But it's been 12 and a half years...almost 15 if you count the 2 years we dated...and he's still here.

My Popcorn Machine

I fell bad for not posting...and can't think of a thing to write so I thought I'd show off my Christmas gift. :o)


I think it's the cutest thing! Makes good popcorn, too. :o)


Here it is in action. My sisters-in-law were visiting. I don't normally make that much at once.

There's some popping as I type this. We're going for a drive and I guess Michael felt like snacking. I'll write a proper post soon.

What an Amazing Show!

This man has visited our little island before. The last time he did, I was a Junior in high school. I didn't remember his name, but recognized his face as soon as I saw the flyers that had been posted around town.


He was standing in the middle of the floor waiting to be honored by one of our local dance groups.

He is a very nice man with a wonderful sense of humor. His goal is "to raise awareness of the Oneness we share as human beings." He uses his dance to express his belief in the unity of human kind.


He was able to make many different shapes using as many as 28 hoops.

He created flowers, butterflies, stars, a soaring eagle, and his dance concluded with all 28 hoops interlocked in a spherical union illustrating the interdependence we all share and cannot truly live without.


He was constantly moving...and each shape he created had a meaning. His entire dance was a story.

The hoops represent Unity, while the four colors of the hoops (black, red, yellow and white) represent the four human races, the four directions, the four seasons, four winds, and more.


Here he is playing one of the many flutes he brought with him.

Even the holes in his flutes are symbolic. There are 6 holes that create 7 differnet notes. 4 of the holes represent the directions (N, S, E and W), one represents the Heavens, another the Earth. The 7th note represents where all come together in each of us: our heart.


As a finale, he taught some of the children a few tricks. Some of them did very well for a first try!

In the end, a wonderful time was had by all. I was so glad to have been able to witness such a wonderful and meaningful event. The first time I saw it, I think I was too young to really get a grasp on what he was trying to teach me. This time, however, I took hold and don't plan on ever letting go.

I Missed Out :o(

I couldn't go to the assembly today. :o( I was so upset. I was really looking forward to it. It started at 2:00. At 1:40, the principal approached me and said, "Kindergarten will be dismissed from their classroom today so you're going to have to stay behind just in case any of them need Latch Key."

"Latch Key" is in the Library. I'm in there each day after school to help kids with homework and supervise those who are waiting to be picked up. The entire school district was allowed to attend except 2 of us. Space Cadet and I had to sit at our desks and twiddle our thumbs with nothing to do for the last hour of the day.

As if that wasn't bad enough, nobody showed up for Latch Key. Worse yet, Lindsey volunteered to hoop dance and we both missed it! Lindsey doesn't volunteer for anything. She's extremely shy and this was HUGE for her. We both missed it. I'm so bummed. I asked her if she'd volunteer again tonight if she gets the chance and she said no. She said she wouldn't have volunteered the first time if she knew what she was volunteering for. I told her I was very proud of her for taking a chance and following through. I'm so bummed I missed it, though.

Speaking of hoop dancing...it starts at 7:00 and it' s almost 6:30. I better get off the computer. Maybe I'll post again later.

Maybe not, though. It's snowing and I think I may go for a walk later. :o)

Not Much to Say

Today was a pretty uneventful day. I got a lot done at work, but didn't have anything exciting happen. On Thursday, there's an assembly because a hoop dancer is coming to town. I'm so excited about that. It's been a while since I've seen one (I think I was in high school the last time I saw one.). I just hope the forecasted snow doesn't interfere with his arrival.

I tried to post from work today. It doesn't seem to have worked. I can't remember everything I typed so I guess you miss out. :op

One thing I do remember mentioning, though, is the weather forecast. Our weather man says that on Wednesday and Thursday we will get 6 to 12 inches of snow. A lot of snow would be fun but I hope it doesn't interfere with the hoop dancer or the basketball games scheduled for this weekend.

I'm pretty tired so this is going to be short. Hopefully, I'll get a good nights rest tonight.

(P.S. Jayleigh: Remember when your profile wouldn't update? How'd ya fix it? Mine says I haven't posted since November!)